There's Petraeus, and then the Lockheed Martin guy, married straight guys who can't keep it in their pants -- did gay marriage make them do it?
II. THE LOCKHEED MARTIN GUY
Don't ask me what goes through these guys' heads, these great Defenders of Freedom and the National Security, Bulwarks of the Great White West. Is it possible that they don't know, while they're getting theirs, that they're doing something that, as soon as it's found out, will end their careers?
Surely the most logical explanation -- though I haven't run it past those lions of the National Organization for Marriage, Maggie Gallagher and Brian Brown -- is that it must have something to do with that great all-purpose Destroyer of Traditional Marriage: gay marriage. I've never been exactly clear how this is supposed to work. Okay, I don't have a frigging clue how it's imagined to work. But that must be it, right? Because NOM has taught us that when marriage is in trouble, the obvious problem is those goddamn homos, and of course those goddamn lezzies. -- Ken