Who Says Washington Doesn't Listen?

-by Noah

Back on April 27th, I wrote a post about how I figured the Repug Party would react to the news that President Obama had released his long form birth certificate. Considering the daily and even hourly displays of Republican insanity, my speculations were pretty realistic. But, at the end of my post, I hinted at the commercialization of everything and I asked “Can I have that certificate printed on a mug for my tea?
 
Well, we may not have an end to oil subsidies, even though 74% of the American public has requested that of our bought and sold U.S. Senators. Also, Washington may still be spending billions times billions of our taxpayer dollars in Afghanistan and buying off Wall Street scam artists and bankster flim-flammers, but, hey, sometimes it’s the little things; the very little things.

Yesterday, I was greeted with the news, by way of a White House mass emailing, from BarackObama.com that, yes, the president’s birth certificate will indeed now be available, not only on my requested mug but also on a t-shirt. See! The White House listens! They feel my pain! I can now have a spiffy birth certificate mug for my tea (I don’t drink coffee)! 

Now, I have some additional requests:

1. Wouldn’t it be cool if there was a deluxe version that had the birth certificate just disappear as the level of your beveridge went down? Kinda like those old “disappearing clothes” cocktail glasses with the pretty ladies on ‘em?
 
2. OK. Don’t like that one? Too expensive? How about a simple bit of guerilla marketing? What if every lefty bought a mug, or two, and sent it to FOX “News” headquarters in New York? I’d love to see a million of them turn up on their doorstep. This plan would raise millions for FOX’s arch-enemy, President Obama, and cause them a major headache. Imagine the pain it would cause FOX, birther champions that they are, if this plan became some sort of highly ironic viral reality that helped re-elect President Obama. Hell, even I might vote for him. This plan might even save the U.S. Postal Service!
 
3. Send one to the Repug of your choice. Trump? Bachmann? Hannity? Boehner? Fruitcakes all! Just imagine the fun that will ensue for these hate-mongers as their offices are overwhelmed with little boxes of mugs; everyday bringing a fresh shipment to replace the ones discarded the day before. It’s clear that the only way to deal with these people is to drive them up the wall. Makes a great holiday gift for that wacko relative, too! So, have at it. No mercy!
 
4. Speaking of no mercy. You know how Republicans think that Obama wants to indoctrinate school kids with his evil socialistic secret muslim, dastardly “Kenyan world view” ways? Well, kids love stickers! That’s right. Flood our schools with little 3x3 birth certificate stickers! Our nation’s kids will be plastering them everywhere! What’s not to like? Can birth certificate lunch boxes be far behind? No wonder nutjob Republican governors are closing schools as fast as they can.
 
The White House has managed to turn the beliefs and delusions of the Republican Birth Certificate Cult to their advantage. However, polls show that 30% of the crackpot party still believes President Obama was born elsewhere. Crazy is as crazy does. I fully expect the Repugs to dismiss the mugs by claiming that it’s just a conspiracy to sell Kenyan coffee and make it some sort of mandated “national drink.” Maybe it’s time for President Obama to just say “I showed you mine. Now, you show yours.” It would fit nicely on the t-shirt, too.