DownWithTyranny!: Lesson from Wisconsin: The election isn't over till the last "vote" is "counted." Plus: Time for Glenn B to regroup

In Wisconsin they give awards for this? Waukesha County Clerk Kathy Nickolaus is seen receiving the 2009 Officer of the Year award from Wisconsin County Constitutional Officers president Jay Zahn. Hold on, Kathy! I've just found what are clearly uncounted Wisconsin election results right here on my computer! Let's see . . . it's 8,348,457 for Kloppenburg, 2 for Prosser. Just add that to your totals, wouldja? Thanks!

by Ken

Prosser Picks up More Than 7,000 Votes

Story Created: Apr 7, 2011
Story Updated: Apr 7, 2011

WAUKESHA, Wis. (AP) -- A conservative-leaning Wisconsin county on Thursday corrected its count and gave an unofficial 7,500-vote lead to the incumbent in the hotly contested state Supreme Court race seen as a referendum on Republican Gov. Scott Walker's divisive union rights law.

Waukesha County Clerk Kathy Nickolaus said the votes weren't reported to The Associated Press on Tuesday due to "human error."

"This is not a case of extra votes or extra ballots being found," she said. "This is human error, which I apologize for."

Before the announcement, it was assumed 68-year-old conservative Justice David Prosser's race against liberal assistant state attorney general JoAnne Kloppenburg was headed for a recount. But Prosser's lead is likely to stand if the new numbers hold up through canvassing in all of Wisconsin's 72 counties.

So, now that Waukesha County Clerk Kathy Nickolaus, a former staffer for the state Assembly's Republican caucus, has "found" 14,000 previously untabulated votes from the city of Brookfield on her personal computer, where she houses the only official election results and to which only she has the password -- for "security," she says -- and they favor Prosser by 7500 votes, it's all over but the shouting, since the accounts I'm reading of Ms. Nickolaus's ongoing shenanigans suggest that she has secure legal protection that has kept her out of prison and will presumably protect whatever the heck it is she's done with these vote results.

I don't know if you have any more confidence than I do in whatever numbers the election counters come up with in Wisconsin, but it looks as if it may all have to be sorted out by the state's Supreme Court. Oh, wait!

This should provide some comfort to those Far Right goofuses on the U.S. Supreme Court, knowing that if they can't do enough fast enough to ensure the New Era of Universally "Correct" Election Results, there's always the "after-election."

For the moment, then, Governor Walker can sit on his Plan B, which is to have Charles Koch buy the state for $1 and lease it back to qualified renters at carefully scaled prices, a procedure that will become much easier now that the governor's staff is reading everyone in the state's e-mails to weed out characters with suspected liberal sympathies.

UPDATE: STATEMENT FROM THE KLOPPENBURG CAMP

Statement from campaign manager Melissa Mulliken, 7:46pm CST:

"Wisconsin voters as well as the Kloppenburg for Justice Campaign deserve a full explanation of how and why these 14,000 votes from an entire City were missed. To that end, we will be filing open records requests for all relevant documentation related to the reporting of election results in Waukesha County, as well as to the discovery and reporting of the errors announced by the County. We are confident that election officials in Waukesha County will fulfill these requests as quickly as possible so that both our campaign and the people of Wisconsin can fully understand what happened and why. Just as Assistant Attorney General Kloppenburg has run to restore confidence in the court, Wisconsin residents also deserve to have full confidence in election results."

MEANWHILE, IN OTHER NEWS --

Glenn Beck Moves to Sci Fi Channel
No Format Change Necessary

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) – Landing on his feet just hours after his program was dropped by Fox News Channel, controversial host Glenn Beck announced today that he had just inked a new contract to join the cable network Syfy, formerly known as the Sci Fi Channel.

Speaking at a press conference announcing the move, Mr. Beck told reporters, “The best part of this deal is that I won’t need to change my format at all.”

Mr. Beck said that his program was "a perfect fit" for a schedule of programming packed with aliens, paranoid conspiracy theories and alternative universes.

But the TV host’s enthusiasm was tempered somewhat by Syfy spokesperson Tracy Klugian, who told reporters, “We warned Glenn that if he’s going to be a good fit for Syfy he’s going to have to tone down his act a bit. Some of the stuff he did on Fox is a little too ‘out there’ for us.”

Mr. Beck said that his new deal would run “until 2012 or the end of the world, whichever comes sooner,” and that he would be paid in gold bouillon and ammo.