Sure, Charlie Sheen is an easy target, but consider how well he's been rewarded for flaunting his lack of talent

The first of four of his own cartoons that The New Yorker's Bob Mankoff has personally charliesheenified

by Ken

Okay, it may be going too far to declare Charlie Sheen talentless.* Perhaps it would be more judicious to refer to the absence, in any of his work I've seen, of any talent beyond total lack of inhibition about self-exhibition. (If you're inclined to minimize this, think what it must be to be so shameless about exhibiting that particular self.) I confess that I've actually attended to some of his more astonishing remarks in this latest self-induced orgy of public scrutiny, possibly because -- another confession -- I actually watch Two and a Half Men (I sort of developed the habit a few seasons into the run).

FOOTNOTE: *I'm unequipped to account for Charlie's talent, or whatever it is, that seems to make him irresistible to large numbers of women. There may, of course, be talents known only to the parties of the first and second part, or possibly this can be accounted for by a surprisingly large number of women who do it, directly or indirectly, for pay (remember that his TV alter-ego, Charlie Harper, not only is unapologetic about his regular employment of hookers but seems to consider them one of life's most basic necessities), or appreciate Charlie's apparent willingness to spare no expense "to show a girl (and himself, of course) a good time."

Let's come back to that, though. Despite my own morbid curiosity, I doubt that I would have troubled to blog about Charlie except for this batch of self-mashed-up cartoons The New Yorker's Bob Mankoff has just unleashed on us. I've had previous occasion to peek at the blog of the magazine's cartoon editor (who of course is himself a longtime New Yorker cartoonist), but I have to say, I love what he's done this week.

March 3, 2011
CHARLIE SHEEN’S NEW GIG
Posted by Robert Mankoff

There’s a lot to be said for Charlie Sheen. Really. And by God, he’s saying it. But it got my own “tiger blood” up when I found out that the “pure gold” of his quotes were being mashed up with New Yorker cartoons in a way that was too random for my effete sensibility.

So I decided to put my tiger blood to good use. I figured, as Charlie is presently not working anywhere, he might as well appear in a few of my cartoons. And since, given his present state, he might have trouble learning my captions, I thought I’d let him speak in his own voice.

In fact, checking out that first link, I think what Matt Stopera has done at BuzzFeed, tacking Charlie Sheen quotes onto old New Yorker cartoons, is quite wonderful. But there's something special about having the actual cartoon auteur charliesheenify some of his own work, with the following results:


TO FINISH UP ON CHARLIE

In Charlie's story, every time you think, "There must be a limit," you're proved wrong. This week on network TV -- a network other than CBS, notably -- he introduced a stunned world to his "Angels," who are apparently all that remains of the "family" he's been claiming so vehemently to be protecting, now that his twin sons, not yet two years old, have been safely removed from his custody.

There's some sort of grim fascination, a fascination I can't begin to explain, in the worthlessness of Charlie Sheen's Two and a Half Men character Charlie Harper, who manages at the same time to be no more awful than his mooching brother Alan (Jon Cryer). I could fall back on the invariable delight of watching the amazing Holland Taylor (I don't know whether it's her skill as an actress or her ability to home in on scripts that she can dazzle in, but at this point in her career I would watch her do just about anything) as the mother whom both brothers tend to blame for everything, but she doesn't appear in anywhere near enough episodes to furnish much of an alibi. And while Conchata Ferrell is similarly wonderful as Charlie's housekeeper Berta, and is in most every episode, I can't imagine watching the show just for her.

Even as CBS and producer Chuck Lorre appear close to have reached the end of their rope with Charlie -- perhaps even have taken to fantasizing about seeing Charlie at the end of a rope -- it's also true that in his monomaniacal blitherings he's entirely correct when he claims to have made vast quantities of money for other people, including his network and his producer. Of course he's nuts if he thinks he has done or does that causes people to watch him, beyond just "putting it out there"; if it weren't for the people who created and continue to produce and write the show, nobody would watch Charlie. At the same time, without Charlie nobody would watch the show either.

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