Who ARE These People?, Part 2: Elections do have consequences-- meet John Shimkus

Noah's earlier post on "Freakshow Politics" appeared yesterday.

by Noah

Sometimes you can see the insanity in their eyes. Sometimes you can hear it in their words. In the case of Illinois Rep. John Shimkus, both apply -- and he wanted to lead the House Committee on Energy and Commerce, a committee on which he has “served” since 1997.

The basic problem with this, for people who aren’t crazy or so corrupted by corporate cash that they have lost any semblance of objectivity, is that Shimkus, a rabid climate-change and science denier, rejects the idea that any man-made influences on our planet’s climate could possibly “destroy this earth” because, no matter what we do, God wouldn’t allow it. It’s this bit of twisted rationalization that, at least in the warped Republican mind of Representative Shimkus, provides carte blanche to do whatever we want with the planet we were born on. With the committee under the direction of Shimkus, it would have been open season on the whole planet, enabling his corporate friends to act with impunity, because a smiling, benevolent God will look after us no matter what we do. So, unleash the oil upon the waters and the radiation upon the forests! In fact, cut the forests down so that we can see that wondrous glow! Hallelujah! Praise the Lord and pass the pollution!

Now, perhaps I should cut Shimkus some slack and give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe, by “this earth” he means the one in the alternate universe he lives in, but if that’s the case, he is out of place in this reality and needs to be sent back to the one he came from, pronto. Can a congressman be recalled on the grounds that he is not of “this earth”? Is John Shimkus literally some sort of illegal alien?

Well, at the very least, Shimkus thinks he speaks for God, which is always a big turn-off in my personal good book. In fact, when he talks about God and punishments, maybe he regards himself and his committee as the God who will always look the other way. Shimkus, however, has “proof” of what he claims about his God! Like any good religious fanatic, he sees it all right there in his Bible. The God of Shimkus has made a promise to us all via his promise to the original Noah! Hallelujah!

Being a strange visitor, Shimkus may not know our reality and the laws of science that govern it, but he knows his Genesis, specifically Genesis 8:21-22, where God says:

Never again will I curse the ground because of man, even though all inclinations of his heart are evil from childhood and never again will I destroy all living creatures as I have done.

As long as the earth endures, seed time and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night will never cease.

Says Shimkus, “I believe that’s the infallible word of God, and that’s the way it’s going to be for his creation.”

Well, he seems to have never noticed the inherent contradiction in the first of the two above verses, or should I just assume that God lied? For you see, it’s right there in the Bible. God, or someone masquerading as God, has claimed to have once destroyed “all living creatures.” But of course God did no such thing, or we, the descendents of Noah, and all of our pets and the critters in the zoos and the rats in our streets, just wouldn’t be here now, would we? Oh, I get it. It depends on what the meaning of ‘all’ is! Whatever. The God I’m most familiar with always has his fingers crossed behind his back anyway. I hear there’s all sorts of things in the Bible, like gay = bad, like woman being property and it’s OK to stone them, blah-blah-blah. I’m sure this guy could riff on that one for an hour or so. I wonder how he interprets the phrase about coveting “thy neighbor's ass.”

Shimkus goes right on raving, like he’s Bin Laden in a cave, quoting Matthew 24:31 this time:

And he will send his angels with a loud trumpet call, and they will gather his elect from the four winds from one end of the heavens to the other.

Having played as loose with his interpretation of Genesis as Islamic crazies play with their interpretations of their good ol’ Good Book, Shimkus, his insanity now mightily emboldened, somehow manages to interpret Matthew as meaning to say:

The Earth will end only when God declares it’s time to be over. Man will not destroy this Earth. This Earth will not be destroyed by a flood.

So spake the mighty Shimkus! He has a definition of "free will"’ all his own. God promised Noah! Raise the emissions standards! May our chariots belch smoke and fire!

I do believe that God’s word is infallible, unchanging, perfect.

Yeah, yeah, whatever you say, Shimkus. I mean, who would know better? Even when God lies, I suppose. The guy tweets this stuff all day every day. He’s an idiot savant of Bible-quoting.

To be fair, not every word from the broken mind of Shimkus is from or about the Buy-bull. He is an opponent of President Obama’s Clean Energy and Security Act, also known as “cap and trade,” which aims to limit carbon emissions. However, his theology is never far from being front and center.

Today we have about 388 parts per million (of carbon) in the atmosphere. I think in the age of dinosaurs, when we had the most flora and fauna, we were probably at 4,000 parts per million. There is a theological debate that this is a carbon-starved planet -- not too much carbon.

OK, he’s right about there being more carbon in the air back then in the time of the dinos, but what he’s too much of a whacked-out simpleton to realize is that our species could not have exactly thrived breathing that air. Maybe he’s one of those crazies who think we existed at the same time of the dinosaurs and it was only 6,000 years ago. I don’t know. “Hey, I saw it on TV, in The Flintstones!

I believe I have the credentials within the Committee to bring fairness, without protests from the other side of the aisle, in its operation.

This came from a guy who turned his back and walked out as President Obama spoke to a joint session of Congress. Oh well. At least he didn’t scream out, “You lie!” This clown talks about "fairness" and "without protests"? Oh right, that kind of stuff just doesn’t apply when you speak for God.

The election of Shimkus is enough of a farce. Consider that many of his fellow Republicans were prepared to put this crackpot, propeller-beanie-wearing goofball in charge of a congressional committee. He should have a job attaching his little Bible sayings to teabag strings or something. And let him work at home doing it, so no one has to suffer his presence.

Just imagine if this lunatic ever got to sit in the Oval Office. Do not let him anywhere near the nuke codes in that briefcase that always follows the president around. He’ll be chanting “God is great, God is great” and reaching for the big red button in no time. Praise Allah! Just imagine some loon thinking it was perfectly OK to launch all the nukes because, after all, God will protect us. No doubt Shimkus believes he will be raptured. Praise Allah! How is this total nutjob any different from the idiots who flew the planes into the buildings on 9/11 and believed that 92 virgin hotties awaited them on the other side? Hell, those girls who worked for Charlie Manson believed they were doing their god’s will too.

Thanks, Illinois!

What corporations gave this guy money to run for office?



The funding of religious-extremist nutbags is never a healthy thing, so, since Shimkus is throwing misused Bible quotes around, I’d like to counter him by quoting the great Gen. George S. Patton Jr. with a more recent religious-themed statement. Faced with horrors like Shimkus, it bears being kept in mind:

“May God have mercy upon my enemies; they will need it.”

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