Monday, September 27, 2010

Did Mike Pence Rat Out Boehner And His Mistress?


Clicking on this billboard is a nice shortcut

Blue America and the Americans for America PAC are making these ads all the time-- like 3 or 4 a week. A few make it up onto TV; most are for the Internet. I guarantee you this one won't be on TV. TV doesn't run ads like this-- not even cable. Not even when they're this poetic.
They’re golf partners...  But that’s not all they have in common...

Fans the world over love Tiger

Lobbyists throughout the business world love John Boehner!

Tiger has $100 million in career earnings and millions more in corporate sponsorships.

John has $32 million in career special interest contributions, and has taken hundreds of thousands more in corporate jet travel and special interest golf junkets!

Tiger is notorious for his indiscretions.

John is notorious for HIS indiscretions-- like handing out Big Tobacco checks to Republicans on the House floor!

Hey John, get a room!

On golf trips, Tiger brings along romantic interests.

On golf trips, John inappropriately brings along special interests-- like Jack Abramoff!

Tiger Woods is a three time champion of the British Open.

John Boehner is the tireless champion of British Petroleum, and said BP should be bailed out by US taxpayers for the Gulf spill.

Tiger is a billionaire.

John’s loves billionaires-- more than his own constituents!

Tiger skips lots of tournaments.

John skips out of work a lot and hits Capitol Hill bars with lobbyists.

But there’s one thing above all that Tiger Woods and John Boehner have in common:

Tiger, we were all shocked to learn, is a man ho.

John, we have all long known, is a corporate ho.

John Boehner and Tiger Woods.


It was... well, awkward when Chris Wallace interviewed John Boehner yesterday about his silly Pledge. The one-eyed aunt sitting atop the elephant in the room was Boehner's affair with what's-her-name... that K Street lobbyist. Wallace could have asked Boehner for another non-denial denial, but that would never happen on American TV... short of the Stephen Colbert Show (although then Steny Hoyer might get himself all puffed up and protest; ole Steny's only happy when he's bent over grabbing his ankles... and no one can find the lube.) Still, if it were a normal news program-- like in England maybe-- Wallace could have made it a more generic question about his long and sordid history with lobbyists without even bringing up the sexual part which, apparently only is allowed on TV after sunset.

Nor is Hoyer the only Congressional prig puffing and protesting. Last night Mike Pence, who wants to run for president, had his flack call me-- and late at night-- to demand I retract my assertion that it was Pence who leaked the story about Boehner and the lady lobbyist. The flack said it isn't true. I asked him how he knows. He said he was "100% certain." I said that that was impossible and that my informant was 100% certain it was true and that it was a firsthand account. He demanded to know who my informant was. I asked him to put Pence on the phone. He refused and said he would send me a written statement; he didn't.

So here's the newest in our series of ads. Enjoy it here; you won't see it anywhere else-- unless you're in Mike Pence's inner chamber and he's showing it to his cronies so they can all get a good chuckle. And if you'd like to chip in to our effort to help Justin Coussoule sweep out the barn in southwest Ohio, you can click on the graphic up top-- or you can donate here.

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At 10:07 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is one of the funniest things I've seen in a long time.
Of course, it remains to be seen if Tiger and Boehner also have another thing in common - if they both feel that the bond of marriage is for 'other people'.

At 8:23 AM, Anonymous me said...

I don't give a crap about policians' or others' sexual affairs. I'm pretty open minded about that, and anyway, it's a private matter. Of course, I'm delighted when some holier-than-thou asshole gets caught with his pants down, but that's about the extent of it.

But I always did think Tiger Woods was a dick. And Boehner? Jesus! Not only is he one of the biggest pricks in the universe, but have you ever heard him speak? Duu-ummb! He's got nothing on Dan Quayle.

At 12:43 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

November is gonna be a bad month for you guys...


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