Trapped in the meltdown: Is it possible being a state (or even U.S.) senator isn't as glamorous as it's cracked up to be? (Hint: Ask Governor Arnold)

The one and only Darren McGavin as Carl Kolchak

by Ken

In her NYT column today, "The Devil Made Me Do It," Gail Collins recalls an episode of the halcyon TV thriller Kolchak: The Night Stalker in which Kolchak, "a newspaperman who spent most of his time tracking down demons of the underworld" -- and, "since his editor never believed his stories, did not get in the paper much" -- "was confronted by a politician who sold his soul to the devil in order to win a seat in the State Senate."

When I first saw this particular program, coyly titled "The Devil's Platform," I was covering a real-life State Legislature in Connecticut. My first thought was that accepting eternal damnation in return for a career as a state senator was a little like swapping your house for a pair of socks.

But lately I am beginning to wonder if, in our troubled times, being in a Senate -- any Senate -- actually is hell. Everybody has seen pictures of the state senators in California, held hostage to a spectacular financial fiasco, sleeping at their desks during the long, long hours of deliberations, which revolve around whether Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger can get a wealthy Republican broccoli farmer to vote for his budget.

And Washington! Imagine you're Harry Reid, the majority leader. Every time something important comes up, you've got to round up 60 votes. And Reid only has 59. One belongs to someone who is apparently doomed to spend the rest of his life in court in Minnesota, arguing about absentee ballot witness registration.

And another, of course, belongs to Roland Burris, cursed with an inability to come up with a consistent story on whether he tried to raise money for Illinois' rogue governor before said governor forked over a Senate seat. The other senators resent Burris because he is proof that just about anybody blessed with strong persistence and a weak memory can join their club. Reid should also consider the possibility that Burris has been infected by a mind-altering demon that could, at any moment, convince him that he dwells in a reverse reality where all good senators vote against the White House agenda.

The U.S. Senate's rules -- like those in California -- wind up leaving the power in the hands of a very few moderate Republicans. Everybody else just sits around reading their mail -- or, in the case of California, napping in the aisles -- while one or two members of the minority party tries to decide whether to let the economy fall off a cliff.

The good news is that in Washington, the whole world is now run by Susan Collins and Olympia Snowe, both of Maine. True, not what you had in mind when you spent the last year obsessing about the next president. But way better than California, which is facing a series of end-of-times crises that include insolvency, 20,000 imminent layoffs and a halt to all public construction programs. And for weeks, it has all hung on State Senator Abel Maldonado, the above-mentioned broccoli farmer.

As of last night, Maldonado was holding out for changes in the state election laws that would make it easier for him to get the Republican nomination to run for state controller. (I believe there was once an episode of "Marcus Welby, M.D." in which a troubled would-be father refused treatment for sterility on the grounds that it would hurt his chances of being elected controller. Back in the day, it was inspiring what high regard TV scriptwriters had for state government.)

Maldonado has always denied that his political ambitions had anything to do with his inability to make up his mind about the budget. Nevertheless, one of his ongoing demands has been to eliminate money for new office furniture for his mortal enemy, the current controller, John Chiang.

The California situation is so dire that everybody in the state appears to have forgotten that their governor is a movie star. Schwarzenegger used to be one of the most famous people on the planet, and now he's spent months begging members of his own party to throw him three lousy votes so he can keep the Department of Motor Vehicles' offices open. When Arnold's ally, the Senate minority leader, revved up the pressure, the Republicans responded by electing a new minority leader.

On the plus side, all those arguments about whether the Constitution should be amended so people born outside the United States could run for president can be put on the back burner.

If the nation's only action-hero governor is at a loss, clearly new powers are needed. Look up that "Night Stalker" episode on the Web and you will learn that the demon soul-selling senator (Tom Skerritt) got "the ability to assume the form of an indestructible black mastiff, and destroy his enemies both within his own party and opposing him."

I wonder if Harry Reid has heard about this.

UPDATE: THE BROCCOLI FARMER GETS
HIS WAY, AND CALIFORNIA GETS A BUDGET

Earlier today, the NYT reported:

Budget Clears Legislature in California After Scathing Battle

By JENNIFER STEINHAUER

LOS ANGELES -- After five days of intense, nearly nonstop negotiations over how to close a $41 billion gap, California state senators agreed early Thursday morning on a budget that raises taxes, cuts deeply into services and borrows far into the future, leaving nearly every person in the state scathed in some way.

The leadership of the state, including Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, agreed several weeks ago to a plan to address the state's severe budget issues, but the plan failed to gain the two-thirds majority approval required by California state law to pass through the legislature. This left Democrats trying to woo a single Republican vote out of the state senate, where Republicans were staunchly against new taxes.

Finally, in the witching hours of Thursday morning, lawmakers caved to some of the demands of State Senator Abel Maldonado of Santa Maria, a Republican who wanted state constitutional amendments banning legislative pay increases during deficit years, and the elimination of a 12-cent increase in gasoline taxes from the plan.

Mr. Maldonado also won legislative approval for an amendment that would make California political primaries open and nonpartisan, a measure that many Democrats resisted to the bitter end.

All told, the budget bills contain $15 billion in spending cuts, $12.8 billion in temporary tax increases, $11.4 billion in new borrowing, and the creation of a $1 billion reserve fund. The intention is that if the state receives anticipated federal funds, the borrowing will be reduced by half, some of the tax increases will be trimmed and some cut spending would be restored.

"If we can solve a $42 billion budget deficit, we can solve anything in this state," said Darrell Steinberg, Democrat from Sacramento, the president pro tem of the Senate, in a news release.

The package of bills was quickly given the nod by the State Assembly -- where lawmakers were less intransigent than in the Senate -- just before 7 a.m. Pacific time

The governor has said he would sign the bill immediately. "This is a very difficult budget," Mr. Schwarzenegger said in a prepared statement, "but we have turned this crisis into an opportunity to make real, lasting reforms for California.

"Some special interests may not like this budget -- but like I always say, what's good for the people is not always good for special interests. I look forward to partnering with the people to make sure these bipartisan reform measures are passed to put an end to our budget roller coaster and get California moving forward again."

The series of budget bills, as passed by the senate around 5 a.m. Thursday, feature billions of dollars in spending cuts for schools, healthcare institutions and entitlement programs and they greatly reduce the dependent credit that Californians may claim on their income taxes.

They also include an increase of the state sales tax by 1 percentage point, and a doubling of the vehicle license fee to 1.15 percent. In lieu of the gasoline tax increase loathed by Mr. Maldonado, residents here will see their personal income tax rates raised by one-quarter of a percentage point. The package also relies on federal stimulus dollars to get through the year.

The lengthy debate over how to address the budget crisis that has befallen the state because of the national recession -- huge numbers of home mortgages have gone into foreclosure and a host of past stopgap budget measures have come home to roost in the form of large debt payments -- has not been without cost.

As legislators fought, hundreds of state workers were put on unpaid furloughs, scores of infrastructure programs were halted, counties went without checks from the state and tax refunds were not issued to citizens. Republican state senators also ousted their leader, and the governor failed to find the allies he needed.

Still, there are at least two winners in the budget package. Small businesses will be given tax breaks, as will some parts of the movie industry, which has long maintained that the state's onerous tax burdens caused it to move shooting elsewhere. Both sets of tax breaks were big victories for Republican lawmakers.

The new taxes are set to last for two years, but could be extended another two years if voters approve a permanent spending cap in a referendum on May 19. The open-primary measure -- which could cover state legislators and members of Congress from the state -- also needs voter approval, and is set to go on the ballot in June 2010.

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