Would You Buy Stock In Bush, Inc?

In yesterday's Daily Beast Ben Sarlin asked a question that some people may soon have to deal with, How Much Is A Bush Speech Worth? Bush himself, seems to have a view in direct contrast with the rest of the world's. When Robert Draper interviewed him for Dead Certain, The Presidency of George W. Bush, he reported that was optimistic about his value in the free market of ideas.

Bush said that he planned to “replenish the ol' coffers” on the lecture circuit, where he could make “ridiculous money.”

“I don’t know what my dad gets. But it’s more than fifty, seventy-five [thousand],” Bush told Draper.

But Bush isn't his dad-- or any other president. He's hated and reviled to the point of being toxic and is unlikely to earn as much as former Fug Tuli Kupferberg-- or even Bob Dole, let alone top draw speakers like Lance Armstrong, Magic Johnson, Chaka Khan or Richard Simmons. President Clinton brought in over $50 million in speaking fees from the end of his presidency until 2007. Bush isn't expected to do quite as well-- and it's not just because God dealt him a bad hand with that Katrina thing..

“I imagine people will not pay the same dollars that a compelling speaker like Bill Clinton could command,” says speechwriter Mark Katz, a former Clinton speechwriter who heads a consulting company, the Soundbite Institute. “The George W. Bush years are going to be like our collective junior high school years, something we had to endure but engenders little or no nostalgia.”

...My feeling is that for the first year there probably will be minimal interest in him,” said one agent who works in the public speaking business. “There have been other former presidents who've been unpopular leaving office, but nobody's ever been this unpopular. After a year, though, people forget and then he'll have a very lucrative career.”

And although it is generally agreed that even though Bush is considered an abysmally bad speaker, that handicap won't matter once the market warms up to him. Still, as the BBC pointed out yesterday, Bush's "slips of the tongue," his Bushisms, have made him... quite memorable. Here are some (chronologically), that could go into a routine:

"Reading is the basics for all learning."

"Will the highways on the Internet become more few?"

"It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it."

"I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully."

"Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream."

"As governor of Texas, I have set high standards for our public schools, and I have met those standards."

"I do remain confident in Linda. She'll make a fine Labour Secretary. From what I've read in the press accounts, she's perfectly qualified."

"You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.''

"They misunderestimated me."

"There's no question that the minute I got elected, the storm clouds on the horizon were getting nearly directly overhead."

"There's an old saying in Tennessee - I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee - that says, fool me once, shame on... shame on you. Fool me - you can't get fooled again."

"The war on terror involves Saddam Hussein because of the nature of Saddam Hussein, the history of Saddam Hussein, and his willingness to terrorise himself."

"First, let me make it very clear, poor people aren't necessarily killers. Just because you happen to be not rich doesn't mean you're willing to kill."

"The ambassador and the general were briefing me on the - the vast majority of Iraqis want to live in a peaceful, free world. And we will find these people and we will bring them to justice."

"I want to thank my friend, Senator Bill Frist, for joining us today. He married a Texas girl, I want you to know. Karyn is with us. A West Texas girl, just like me."

"Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB/GYN's aren't able to practice their love with women all across the country."

"Free societies are hopeful societies. And free societies will be allies against these hateful few who have no conscience, who kill at the whim of a hat."

"That's George Washington, the first president, of course. The interesting thing about him is that I read three - three or four books about him last year. Isn't that interesting?"

"You know, one of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq to the war on terror."

"I'll be long gone before some smart person ever figures out what happened inside this Oval Office."

Maybe not-- although no one seems to think that his disastrous two terms will have any kind of longterm impact on his ability to cash in. People have short attention spans and what they will eventually want-- not for a year or so, of course-- is a photo-op with the ex-president, unless he falls off the wagon and makes a public spectacle of himself a few times. But his legacy of failure? No one will mind-- even though currently Bush is admired by only 17% of Americans and inspires feelings of no confidence in 80%. Of course, videos like this probably aren't going to make him any more popular any faster than it has done for Herbert Hoover. And Bush insists he has "a great sense of accomplishment, and I am going home with my head held high."