Wednesday, December 17, 2008

The Daily Show offers a Hall and Oates musical farewell to the utterly useless Alan Colmes

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Anytime you need a token liberal,
Nothin' but a body to fill a chair,
The barest shadow of a person,
Alan Colmes is always there.

But all those years of non-existence
Can really run a person down.
Now he's leaving Hannity forever.
Alan, please don't go!
You're the only non-douchebag on that show.
He's gone, bye-bye,
Oh why?
He was the Tango to his Cash,
And he's gone.
Oh why?
To the extent
That I hadn't noticed he was there,
But he's gone,
Oh why?
What went wrong?
He's gone, bye-bye,
Oh why?
He was the Laurel to his Hardy.
He's gone.
To spend
More time
Not being seen with his family.
He's gone.
What went wrong?


(Of course, it's an adaptation of the Hall and Oates classic "She's Gone.")

And HuffPost has the statement issued in apparent riposte by master wit Sean Hannity:

"I was actually thinking of Jon [Stewart] as a co-host but I needed someone who could be smart and funny without 50 writers and two has-been rockers who are badly in need of Botox."

Ouch! Take that, Daily Show and musical guests!
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4 Comments:

At 7:45 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Useless? He made money for Rupert Murdoch, and he helped the criminal syndicate known as the GOP take over the government.

That's what he was hired to do, and that's what he did. Can't call him useless - he's a real tool.

 
At 8:19 AM, Blogger KenInNY said...

LOL! Point taken, me! After all, would anyone have paid to see the Harlem Globetrotters if they didn't have the Washington Generals on hand to trounce every night?

I guess what I had in mind was something a bit more, er, usefully useful.

Ken

 
At 8:26 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah.

Unfortunately, by that measure, there are damned few useful politicians in Washington, even among the Democrats.

 
At 8:52 AM, Blogger KenInNY said...

I know. I set impossibly high standards.

Sometimes I would accept the ability to do a simple card trick as "useful," though. I mean, it's something.

Ken

 

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