12 Days of Christmas Scorn: Day 5 -- A Circus of Horrors

That secession business isn't Texas Governor Rick's only little faux pas. Like there's that pesky matter of the man he allowed to be executed for arson-murder even though Rick had been presented with compelling scientific evidence that the fire wasn't arson, and the frantic cover-up he's waged ever since. But oh, that lovely hair! Does it say "governor" or what?

by Noah

1. THE I'M GONNA TAKE MY BALL, THROW A HISSY FIT, AND RUN AWAY AWARD

To Texas Gov. Rick Perry, who wants his state to secede. Says Perry, while offering still more evidence that Repugs live in the deep 19th century: "Texas is a unique place. When we came into the union in 1845, one of the issues was that we would be able to leave if we decided to do that."

OK with me. One less nut state, and yes, it’s a unique place, for sure. Let ‘em leave. Then we can invade them for what’s left of their oil. All in favor of Texas going bye-bye? Any nays? Hmm. On second thought, they do have some recipes for whipping up tasty barbecued roadkill, and the deep-fried snake with honey-cactus peyote glaze is very nice this time of year.


2. THE SQUEAL LIKE A PIG AWARD

To the U.S. Senate’s 30 pro-rape senators. When newly minted Sen. Al Franken (D-MN) proposed an amendment to our country’s deal with outside contractors that would give a rape victim the right to file charges if raped by a fellow employee of such a contractor while in the service of that contractor, 30 senatorial scumbags voted NO. Go ahead, digest that. Yes, the Senate has a pro-rape caucus. Guess which party.

How did this even get to that point? Who took away the basic right most citizens have in the first place? I’ll let you guess again. Hint: The cretin who signed the original piece of paper removing this right to redress has the initials GWB. And Teabaggers draw Hitler moustaches on Obama’s face? Where were they when Bush was soiling the Oval Office?


The Young Turks' Cenk Uygur introduces a clip of $en. David "Diapers" Vitter (R-LA) running from a constituent asking about his pro-rape vote. Cenk notes, "If he was a Democrat, what the Republicans would do is: 'Senator Vitter, in favor of rape.' And they'd run that ad over and over again."

I’ll leave it to the shrinks to determine what’s wrong with the pro-rape caucus crew. It probably goes back to how they saw their own fathers interact with their own mothers. One thing we do know is that they didn’t grow up as gang-bangers in South Central L.A. Nevertheless, their feelings about power and domination seem to be remarkably similar, especially as it pertains to women. Is there a thread here that connects directly to the hawkish pro-war, let’s-nuke-‘em, let’s-invade, let’s-crusade policies that Repugs have traditionally adhered to for a century or more? From fighting against voting rights for anyone who isn’t white and male to taking a stand against equal pay for equal work or even whether you should get work and in what field to telling you what you can do with your own body, mind, and soul.

It has always been the conservatives who attempt to keep people in their place, or put them back in it when they slip out. And rape is the ultimate manifestation of that power and dominance. It’s a twisted, childish, sadistic craving for power over others. Is this a case of domination as a philosophy and as a way of life? There are times when I start to have feelings of pity or sympathy for the women who married such hideous men. Then I remember that they made their bed.

The story goes that the company involved in the incident that spotlighted the need for Franken's amendment to the deals with the contractors was Halliburton-owned KBR. A female employee in Iraq was reportedly gang-raped by fellow employees and then, in an ultimate example of objectification and corporate sadism, KBR attempted to cover up the incident by locking the woman in a shipping container. Our tax dollars pay KBR. KBR reportedly also deprived the victim of food and water and threatened her if she told anyone about what was done to her and how the wonderful folks at KBR handled the incident. Sound like a great company to work for?

Franken's amendment is designed to prevent such behavior from going unpunished and is also designed to be a deterrent to such activities. How would any decent, reasonable person vote? Who lined up against such rape victims? Who saw nothing wrong here? Here are the names of the lowest of the low, starting with Alabama''s KKK boy, Jeff Sessions, famous for his despicable treatment of then-Judge (now-Justice) Sonya Sotomayor at her Supreme Court confirmation hearings. Not surprisingly, Alabama can be proud that both of its senators voted in favor of rapists. Sessions called Franken's legislation "a political attack on Halliburton." That's what mattered to him. I know that if I had a daughter who worked for Sessions, or any of these knuckle-draggers, she'd be carrying a Glock and starting to look for a new job. The rest of the pro-rape vermin are:

Alexander (R-TN)
Barrasso (R-WY)
Bond (R-MO)
Brownback (R-KS)
Bunning (R-KY)
Burr (R-NC)
Chambliss (R-GA)
Coburn (R-OK)
Cochran (R-MS)
Corker (R-TN)
Cornyn (R-TX)
Crapo (R-ID)
DeMint (R-SC)
Ensign (R-NV)
Enzi (R-WY)
Graham (R-SC)
Gregg (R-NH)
Inhofe (R-OK)
Isakson (R-ID)
Johanns (R-NE)
Kyl (R-AZ)
McCain (R-AZ)
McConnell (R-KY)
Risch (R-ID)
Roberts (R-KS)
Shelby (R-AL)
Thune (R-SD)
Vitter (R-LA)
Wicker (R-MS)

That's quite a list. It happens to feature most if not all of the most Far Right, reactionary, nasty, bigoted goons in the Senate, who take a similar thuggish approach to all that life has to offer, whether it's pillaging other countries, politics, civil rights, voting rights, or even economic warfare against our own citizens. I'm also reminded of those stories about how John McCain tells rape jokes and how he treats the women around him, including his wives. One wonders if these knuckle-dragging cavemen in suits know how to use forks and spoons yet. To be fair to Alabama, you can see that it's far from alone in having two pro-rape senators. As can be expected, the former (to most Americans) Confederacy is well represented on this list. Must be a swell place for women! The Far Right corporate-front organization known as the U.S. Chamber of Commerce also came out against Franken's amendment, which ended up passing, 68-30. No thanks to these scumbags.


3. THE TREEHOUSE OF DOOM AWARD

To those overgrown gay-hating fratboys of C Street infamy, the Family, who claim it’s just a place where like-minded Christians can get together and pray and practice a lifestyle of religious piety with an eye toward leading the world along their righteous repressive path to glory, mostly on the taxpayers' tab, of course. Sounds a lot like any Muslim terror cell’s public description, doesn’t it?

Actually, it seems to be both that and a college fraternity house that serves as a safe house for members' extramarital affairs. “Hey, honey, I’m gonna stay in town tonight and pray with the boys at the C Street Cabana. Maybe we’ll watch Charlton Heston in The Ten Commandments again. We have a nice new VHS copy that one of the pages gave us!”

“You’ll have to pry these stone tablets from my cold dead hands!”

Ten Commandments of a Dominatrix is more like it. Or maybe Buttman’s African Adventure, Part 17, since these fellows like to go to Africa -- particularly Uganda -- at taxpayers' expense often to seek out opportunities for exploitation while they back regimes that want to execute people for being gay, like the American Taliban that they aspire to be. (Even Obama’s buddy Pastor Rick Warren appears to be involved in that one.)

I suspect there are some Republicans who are running away so hard from their own gayness that they end up encouraging the death penalty for being gay, until they get questioned about it. How pro-life of them! Anyway, I’d love to hear what the wives have to say about all of this frat-house stuff. I guess the media just doesn’t want to go there. Maybe the wifies just get together and go to Chippendales or something. Then they come home and ask Little Baby Jesus in the Grilled-Cheese Sandwich for forgiveness, or maybe they just wait until Sunday, when they can go to Our Lady of Jesus Depicted in an Oil Slick, repent, and start the week all new and almost virginal while their menfolk think about fitting them for leather burkas.


Rachel Maddow talks to Jeff Sharlet about the Family's ties to Uganda's proposed "kill the gays" legislation.


4. THE SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND SNAKES AWARD

To $en. Ben Nelson (D-NB), who came up with the idea of turning over his anti-choice healthcare amendment to the Catholic Church for approval and donations. I know I already covered this woman-hating thug in a previous post, but his lowness cannot go unrecognized at year’s end.


"Change is what's necessary today," says $en. Ben Nelson about our healthcare system. Just not too much change, or the wrong kind. He notes sadly, "The quality of this debate has not always measured up to the quality of the American people." Don't be so modest, $enator -- take a bow!

Imagine if some other cretinous senator decided that he or she would pass amendments over to a group of Muslim imams for review before they went to a vote. Would the media be as silent? I guess in Ben Nelson’s unconstitutional, anti-American mind, he sees a future where presidents give the State of the Union address and sitting behind him are the VP, the House speaker --and a bishop or cardinal, with full control of the speech, of course.

It’s odd how things have changed in our country. Back during the 1960 presidential campaign, conservatives were all up in arms about the fact that a Catholic named John Kennedy was running for president, which was a dangerous thing because, in their weirdo minds, the Vatican would be calling the shots if he won.

Wasn’t having K Street writing our legislation bad enough? Think about it: multinationals and Rome ruling our lives by creating the policies and laws we have to live under. Thanks, Ben. Why not turn us back over to the inbred British royals too?

People actually voted for this clown?


TOMORROW: Day 6 -- Toys in the Attic Edition

1. The His Supreme Arrogance Award
2. The Tin Man Award
3. The Wormy Apple Don't Fall Far from the Diseased Tree Award
4. The Some Choose Not to Count Award
5. The Clean Those Spark Plugs Award


THE SERIES SO FAR

Day 1: Con Men, Grifters, and Outlaws Edition
Day 2: The More Things Change, the More They Stay the Same Edition
Day 3: Media Manipulators and Seditionistas Edition
Day 4: Teabaggers Edition

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