It's our last chance to answer Doctorbill Frist's survey exploring Republican campaign priorities

It's no doubt in the nature of things that mailing-list compilers sometimes compile people they don't mean to. Ourselves, we have somehow become e-confideantes of two of our favorite Republigoons: former Senate Majority Leader Doctorbill Frist of Tennessee and his successor, Miss Mitch McConnell of neighboring Kentucky.

For a while we used to open their e-epistles for purposes of amusement, the entertainment value quickly wore thin. And lately Miss Mitch's e-mails have mostly reeked of desperation regarding his reelection campaign.

Today, however, something made us open one from Doctorbill. It seems he wants input from us, his fellow Republicans. (I'm guessing he also wants money, but let's take him at face value.)

Will you take a few minutes now and complete a eight question survey for me? Over 8,000 voters have completed this survey already and I want to make sure your answers to these questions are included because I intend to share the results with key members of the Republican Leadership in Congress and the candidates VOLPAC is supporting in the months ahead.

This is your final opportunity to take this portion of the survey.

My team and I have tried to make this 2008 Republican Leadership Survey unique. From the answers we gather, we will send a followup survey to you with 5-6 more detailed questions. Here are some of the questions we ask.

What follows are three questions presumably taken from the survey. We confess that we didn't have the stomach to look at the full survey (if anyone's really interested, we could still hit that link), and not having seen the actual survey, we can only hope that those poor Republicans on Senator Doctorbill's e-mail list have been provided with multiple-choice answers. Just in case, however, we have thrown in some suggested answers.


President Bush has shown great resolve in his determination to stabilize Iraq and deny it as a safe haven from our enemies. Do you feel the Republican members of Congress have also stood strong with President Bush on Iraq?

(a) yes
(b) no
(c) the Global War on Terror
(d) huh? Republican members of Congress actually stand? (I guess every now and then they have to get up to get the bottle of ink to reink the stamp pad for their rubber-stamping)

Which issue would you like to see Republican presidential nominee pursue most aggressively on your behalf?

(a) the Global War on Terror Inc.
(b) send immygrunts back where they come from
(c) finish border fence (or anyways start border fence) so as to keep out damn islamofascio-mexicans
(d) do you perhaps mean "the Republican presidential nominee," Doctorbill?

Which of the following accomplishments do you feel is President Bush's greatest achievement?

(a) the Global War on Terror LLP
(b) occupying the White House for 8 yrs despite zero qualifications--least qualified major-party candidate for president in the history of the American republic
(c) demolishing the Constitution
(d) turning the Dept of Justice into a wholly partisan enforcement division for extreme right-wing ideology
(e) wholly politicizing [fill in name of government agency]
(f) watching Iraq be destroyed
(g) watching the U.S. military be destroyed
(h) watching New Orleans be destroyed
(i) making friends and cronies rich . . . er, richer
(j) making U.S.A. hated by rest of world
(k) other ____________________