I'M NOT SURE WHO KEVIN FEDERLINE IS SUPPORTING BUT SNOOP DOGG IN NO OBAMA FAN

Is Snoop Doggy Dogg a secret agent of Karl Rove? I don't think so... just an imbecile, although, like Mitt Romney, he is a Mormon... so who knows?

He's promoting some kind of God-awful "reality" TV show and the Guardian published an interview with him on Thursday. If I didn't know better-- and have enough respect for the Constitution-- I'd be with Tipper Gore and Joe Lieberman on this one. But everyone has a right to say whatever idiotic thing pops into his drug-addled brain. And any piece of corporate media looking for some cheap thrills has the right to pimp it out to a dumbed down audience who wants to consume it.

Emma Forrest assesses the "near catatonic" Mr. Dogg's prominence accurately. "The thing that makes hip-hop different from other genres is that credibility is often found in the level of your success, not the quality of your music. Unless you're Afrika Bambaataa, your relevance is marked by sales more than by musical innovation. The music business is seen as a hustle, so putting out records is a start, but then you need to capitalise on it. Snoop put out one record in the 90s that was both catchy and unique, Gin and Juice, and from that he's launched his own video games, porn DVDs, a soft drink called Pimp Juice, movie roles, and now the reality show. In that respect, he is a total success for working the hustle so well."

Her exchange with Snoop is either the product of some kind of a potent combination of stimulants and depressents or... just a poor educational system.

But he comes to life when I raise the subject of Barack Obama's recent speech on race.

"What did he say?" he asks, raising an eyebrow to himself, flirting with his own angular lines.

"Well, he's having to disassociate himself from his pastor, who was criticised for saying, essentially, that America is built on racism."

"It is!" he screeches at the mirror.

I'm not quite sure where I'm supposed to be looking: it's a bit like talking to someone with a wall eye. "Right, but because he wants to be president he still has to disavow this confidant of 25 years," I say.

"Black America support him on that. By any means necessary. Get in that White House. Then once he get in, he can catch up to old relationships. 'Cos they looking for a loophole to make him not win." He almost looks at me, but then seems to think better of it as he whispers: "The KKK gave Obama money."

"Really?"

"YES." Snoop has an interesting verbal mannerism of capitalising words without putting any exclamation at the end. "They was one of his biggest supporters."

"I've never heard that."

"YES. Why wouldn't they be? The media won't tell you that. They don't want you to know that. They just want you to know that this nigger befriended this other nigger who be threatening your values. But we all know all presidents lie to get into fucking office. That's they job."

Does he agree with the widely held sentiment that Bill Clinton was the "first black president"?

"He was closest we gonna get to the first black president. He related to black needs and black values, black understanding and racism. He from Little Rock, Arkansas. That's a black-dominated world. He was part of us. That's why every day was happy when he was in office. It was just the funnest time in the world. Everything worked."

If Obama were in the room, I get the sense Snoop would let him share the mirror. "In America's eyes, that muthafucker's gonna be the president 'cos [John] McCain can't fuck with him. Hillary [Clinton] can't fuck with him. He's winning over white people, white ladies."

I mention a recent survey that revealed older black women's reluctance to vote for Obama because they have a maternal fear that, if elected, he would be assassinated. Snoop sits up straight. "It's real! It's true shit. That's the White House. No niggers allowed!"

Obama was aware of Mr. Dogg's hysterical and self-serving accusations and when questiioned about them at a high school yesterday, he said they're completely untrue. Meanwhile, the British government, understandably, is appealing a court's decision to allow Snoop Dogg into their country. He was banned from England after he was arrested for brawling in the Heathrow First Class Lounge, an incident which left 7 police officers injured.