IF RUDY GIULIANI WALKED INTO A CONSECRATED CATHOLIC CHURCH, WOULD IT SELF-COMBUST?

He refuses to answer. He says his religion is between himself and his priest. I have a horrible feeling Giuliani's talking about his longtime friend and business associate Alan Placa, a suspended priest who molests young boys-- while he isn't working for Rudy. But today Giuliani was out in the Iowa cornfields looking for votes and the good folks out there, aware of his godless policy positions, his multiple marriages, his penchant for dressing like a woman at the drop of a hanky, his foul mouth, his crooked associates, is breathtaking lust for money, and his wild lifestyle, wanted to know if he communes with God... ever.

In Bettendorf, the haughty New Yorker drew the line. He was asked if he's a traditional, practicing Roman Catholic. "That's a personal discussion, and [the clergy or suspended clergy] have a much better sense of how good a Catholic I am or how bad a Catholic I am, and that's a matter of individual conscience. And I don't think there should be a religious test for public office."

When normal Republican voters try to find out if Rudy even goes to church, they just get cold stares or "no comment." Is Rudy Satan's
candidate? Well... what about Romney? Does Satan have two candidates in the race? No one ever said Satan was fair.

Giuliani is alone among the major Republican candidates in favoring abortion rights, a practice that the Catholic Church opposes. Some church officials have suggested that candidates who favor abortion rights should be denied the sacrament of communion.

On a personal level, Giuliani has been married three times, with one annulment and one divorce. Catholics who are divorced and have remarried are not permitted to receive communion.

Nor will his campaign confirm or deny that the real reason he is in Iowa is to perform ritual blood sacrifices and I can't confirm that this is Rudy's voice or not but I do know this, if you want this kind of a president, you can toss a coin between Rudy Giuliani or Mitt Romney or Jeri Thompson.