IF I WAS A PUBLISHER, I'D GIVE CONTRACTS TO EVERY REPUBLICROOK WHO COULD SPELL "ME"-- OR "BUSH": TOM DeLAY STRIKES AGAIN

I don't know if any legitimate literary critics are considering Tom DeLay's new work of fiction but, like I said Tom wrote last week, "beware the man drunk with ambition."

By the above quote he was trying to eviscerate, in his new dark fantasy work, No Retreat, No Surrender, one of his erstwhile allies/now hated enemies-- either Gingrich or Armey or Bush or even poor Hastert or some right wing loon who didn't come to his defense strongly enough. In today's NY Times Carl Hulse examines DeLay's shortcomings as a political author. And, as Republican politicians do, DeLay blames everyone but himself for his problems and his party's problems. DeLay starts out well enough, attributing "the Republican defeat in November to frustration with President Bush, the war and 'a general perception of Republican incompetence and lack of principles.'" He should have quit while he was ahead.

Instead he defends the GOP by claiming they didn't combat-- at least not strongly enough-- the Cunningham to Foley (to DeLay) image the media used to describe the GOP Congress.

In typical take-no-prisoners fashion, Mr. DeLay, who left Congress last year after his indictment in Texas on charges related to campaign financing, lashes out at Newt Gingrich, the former speaker, and other fellow leaders of the 1994 Republican revolution. He hits the Republican leader of the ethics panel that admonished him, calls former President Bill Clinton “slimy” and portrays leading Democrats as his evil liberal tormentors.

He also has a few choice epithets to toss at his perceived conservative tormentors. "I consider George W. Bush, Dick Cheney and Denny Hastert all to be good men but there is not an articulate voice among them." And that's positively a bouquet compared to what he has to say about his former partners in crime, like Newt Gingrich, currently running for the Republican presidential nomination (albeit stealthily), and Dick Armey (not exactly the world's biggest DeLay fan either). He writes that Newt was an "ineffective speaker of the House... He knew nothing about running meetings and nothing about driving an agenda... Newt wanted to turn the ship of state on a dime. Nearly every other day he had a new agenda, a new direction he wanted us to take. It was impossible to follow him."

Mr. Delay’s 179-page memoir is already infuriating critics who say he has never recognized his own misconduct, how his style of politics contributed to a deterioration in House standards and the degree to which his troubles consumed House Republicans in a tough election year. One critic, Matt Angle, director of the Lone Star Project, an activist group that monitors Texas Republicans, said that in sharp contrast to the book’s title, Mr. DeLay left Congress when it appeared he would have to fight for his political survival.

“DeLay titling his new book ‘No Retreat, No Surrender’ is like Jack Abramoff calling his memoirs ‘Ethics and Honesty,’ ” Mr. Angle said this week. He was referring to the jailed lobbyist who had ties to Mr. DeLay.

And speaking of Jack Abramoff, isn't his brother a literary agent or movie agent or something like that? Now, there's a book (or film) we'd all love to go over. Unfortunately Cunningham is... um... well, "post-literate." Katherine Harris has been threatening to write a book to expose all her tormentors but most people expect it to be categorized as comedy. Still, there are plenty of ghost writers out there-- just ask Ann Coulter who she uses-- and I'm sure there are some real best-sellers in the making. Mark Foley could probably write something far steamier than even Scooter Libby's book about the bear raping a young girl in a cage-- and if he teams up with fellow current and former congressional Republican closet queens like David Dreier (R-CA), Ed Schrock (R-VA), James McCrery (R-LA), Mitch McConnell (R-KY)... well, I see a blockbuster-- one that could be made into a movie-- if BelAmi casts it... in the Czech Republic.

Meanwhile, I guess the next we'll hear from DeLay is either at his sentencing or at an appeals court, or if he retreats, surrenders and cuts a deal ratting out his fellow Republicrooks who followed his lead down a yellow brick road paved with disaster for America and K Street millions for Republican operatives and right wing fanatics... like himself. Unless Jane puts him on the FDL Book Salon.


UPDATE: WATCH REP. & FORMER MUCH-DECORATED ADMIRAL JOE SESTAK BATTLE 2 COWARDLY DRAFT DODGING CHICKENHAWK/WAR-CRIMINALS, TOM DeLAY & RICHARD PERLE ABOUT IRAQ-- AND KICK THEIR ASSES

Sestak and Congressman Tom Andrews (D-ME) were brilliant, articulate and powerful on Meet The Press. Does DeLay appear inebriated to you?


UPDATE: A DECEIVER TO THE END

Nothing will ever stop Tom DeLay from lying about everything and anything. The video is hilarious.