BOEHNER POPS OUT OF TANNING BOOTH TO WARN GOP MEMBERS: "BE AT THE DINNER OR PREPARE TO SELL COOKIES DOOR TO DOOR"

Have you ever been in the Brownies? It sounds to me like John Boehner is trying to run the House Republican Caucus like a putrid synthesis of the Midwest Cub Scouts troop and a Bombay brothel. Yesterday he took precious minutes out of his tanning salon time to tell the Republican Conference it is "make or break" time for Republican members of Congress and he warned them, in no uncertain terms, that attendance at next month's $6 million fundraising dinner is mandatory. "I clearly told members today they have to be there," Boehner boasted heroically to CongressDaily after the GOP's weekly meeting. "We just have to make sure colleagues work a little harder. We're in the minority. We'll get there."

The March 15 dinner falls on a Thursday, and with that sneaky Nancy Pelosi having scheduled no votes scheduled the next day, some members might want to get an early start on a weekend in their home districts, especially the 50 or so who are hanging on to their seats by a thread. "The big problem is to get people to attend, getting members to spend another night in town when they could be home," Rep. John Shimkus, (R-IL), who hasn't been heard from since his complicity in the Foley page molestation case was revealed last year.

Showing up is the least members can do for the party, said Rep. Devin Nunes, R-Calif., who is serving cupcakes and with Boehner as dinner co-chairman and hopes to judge a pie-eating contest. Nunes said the fundraiser is more than half way to its $6 million goal. "We're getting there. It's slow progress," Nunes said. "As you get down to the end, you're down to crunch time." As rank-and-file Republicans adjusted to their minority status and now realize that the lobbyists bribes are as likely to go to the Rahm Emanuel/Steny Hoyer machine as to the Boehner/Blunt Machine, they have faced continual requests over the last two months to raise money for the party. The NRCC has one of the party's most doltish closet cases, Phil English (R-PA) working on debt retirement from the 2006 election cycle ($15 million, give or take) and he's only managed to hustle up $4.4 million so far.


At this morning's meeting, Nunes gave every dinner "team captain" who have met their individual fundraising goals of $75,000 a big hug. Many are under investigation for accepting bribes but each forked over the money-- Energy and Commerce ranking member Joe Barton (R-TX); Education and Labor ranking member Buck McKeon (R-CA); Reps. Ken Calvert and Kevin McCarthy, two more Republican crooks from the Golden State; Tom Price (R-GA); and Roger Wicker (R-MS). He also said Rep. Joe Wilson (R-SC) and Jerry Lewis (R-CA)-- even after paying his legal team nearly a million dollars to keep him from being indicted-- had exceeded their fundraising targets, but he did not specify their contributions.


An NRCC spokeswoman said the March dinner, which President Bush has attended in past years, has recorded $2 million in member pledges and needs $1.5 million more from members. Other NRCC fundraising drives will make up the difference toward the overall $6 million goal. Rep. Dennis Rehberg, (R-MT) said today's push by GOP leaders is part of the fundraising psychology needed to meet contribution targets. Rehberg said it is this "bump money" that the NRCC is trying to bring through the door. "Create a crisis at the end-- that always brings money in the end," he said. After all, they're not the Party of Greed and Selfishness for nothing.