WHO WILL TALK FOR BUSH ONCE SCOTTY MCCLELLAN SASHAYS BACK TO AUSTIN? DON'T ASK!

Ever since his wild White House sleep-overs with that gay right wing hooker/"journalist" whose advertised specialty is watersports (i.e.- peeing on his clients) it has been rumored that Scotty McClellan would be stepping down as BushCo's press secretary. His mommy is running for governor of Texas and he feels very at home in the Austin bar scene. Anyway, CNN just reported that the man David Gergen has been referring to as "President Bolten" decided to tell Scotty to pack up his rubber sheets and ride off into the sunset. And, according to CNN, Bolten even found the replacement the Bush Regime most wants: Fox News' least fair and least balanced-- least balanced in many, many ways (though not in Scotty's way)-- Tony Snow. You probably think I'm making this up as a late April Fool's joke. In that case, the joke's on you. I'm not; it's true!


THURSDAY UPDATE: AL FRANKEN, GREEN DAY AND SCOTTY MCCLELLAN

I hope you have the time of your life...
The president has set high standards,
The highest of standards for people in his administration
He's made it very clear to people in his adminsitration
That he expects them to adhere to the highest standards of conduct
If anyone in this administration was involved in it
They would no longer be in this administration.