A modest proposal to speed up the process of getting congressional Republicrook leaders to (refuse to) probe congressional and other Republicrooks

Have you noticed how many of DWT's recent posts involve frustrated Democrats urging Republican leaders in Congress to investigate assorted Republicrooks in and out of Congress?

* There's Sen. Frank Lautenberg writing to Senate Majority Leader "Dr. Bill" Frist (as well as Minority Leader Harry Reid) urging an inquiry into the flagrant lies that that rogues' gallery of oil bigwigs told Senate committee members about their involvement with Vice President Dick Cheney's "energy policy."

(I believe the technical term for that involement is "being in cahoots with." And unless I missed it in the story, Senator Lautenberg was apparently too tactful to propose an inquiry into the conduct of committee chair Sen. Ted Stevens, who steadfastly--no, pugnaciously--shot down all efforts by his Senate colleagues to have the oil-company prevaricators testify under oath, on the oft-repeated non-ground that "it's my decision."

(Or maybe Senator Lautenberg was just recognizing that his colleague from Alaska hadn't broken any law--just every minimal standard of decency, honesty, conscience and professional responsibility. Senator Stevens could have cleared this up with a few simple words of explanation, such as: "These are my goddamn lying boys, and if I say they can lie their goddamn lying heads off to this goddamn lying U.S. Senate, my goddamn lying word is my goddamn lying bond.")

* Then there's House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi asking Speaker Denny "Old Tub of Guts" Hastert to look into more of the shenanigans of that disgraced erstwhile defense-industry shill, mercifully former Rep. Randy "Duke" Cunningham.

* And there's . . . well, frankly I can't keep track of all the Republicrooks who stand in need of prompt investigation, especially in the House since seemingly undisgraceable maybe-and-maybe-not-former Majority Leader Tom Delay turned the already-near-toothless House Ethics Committee into a knitting club.

I believe I have an eminently practical suggestion that might not bring about rapid results but would at least speed up the process.

As DWT points out, the GOP leaders to whom all these pleas are directed are themselves featured players in the 2005-06 Cavalcade of Falling Republicrooks, and may be lagging in their own races to their dates with justice. Can you blame them if they're not in an especially investigative frame of mind?

What if, for example, Senator Lautenberg had addressed the copy of his letter destined for the Senate majority leader to "Sen. 'Dr. Bill' Frist or Occupant"? Ditto with all those pesky "Dear Denny Why Doncha Investigate" letters on the House side. Wouldn't that beat having to return these letters stamped "addressee unknown" or "moved--left no forwarding address"?

Or, better, what if the Republicrook leaders were to have their soon-to-be successors chosen now rather than waiting till they're actually booted (or shamed) out?

In other words, have the Senate Republican caucus decide now who will step into Dr. Bill's shoes when the heat from his conflict-of-interest scandal becomes too intense. And get their House counterparts to decide now who'll inherit Dorky Denny's coach's whistle. Then let the winning loser deal with the mess.

It could be argued against my suggestion that guys clutching for dear life to their power chairs aren't likely to welcome having these succession battles waged while they're still chained to those chairs. Frankly, that seems to me an argument in favor of my modest proposal.