Sunday Thoughts:
I think I'll go become a building contractor and move to a Republican town. I could really clean up by augmenting the homes of Christonut Republikooks with these spiffy rapture hatches!
Now that I have a plan for the rest of my life, I have to ask: Did you ever wonder what happens to the pets of The Raptured? Who will care for them when their nutball masters float on up to the heavens on that glorious day? Looks to me that there's another cool business opportunity right there!
Meanwhile, I suggest that if you know any of these crazies, you should reveal to them this secret knowledge: The Rapture will come during a thunderstorm and only during a thunderstorm. So, at the sign of any thunderstorm, they should go outside and raise their hands high in the air, preferably holding a nice, shiny new metal golf club and wearing one of their tinfoil hats. Also tell them that, If they have some bare copper wire, they should replace their belts with it and take off their shoes. No shoes on those nice white clouds where the angels hang out! Tell them God will give them extra credit for their cooperation and resourcefulness.
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