Saturday, December 29, 2018

2018 In Review: Sex-Obsessed Hypocrite Edition-A Holiday Cornucopia Of Republican Wackos. The Whole World Is Watching, Part 10.


by Noah

Yesterday, I wrote about a handful of the Republican Party’s Nazi brethren. But, hey, enough of Republicans who worship Nazis and Nazis who worship republicans. The two are interchangeable anyway, so let’s proceed. How about some sex-crazed republicans? Republicans are always so obsessed with other people’s sex lives that they live by a “do as I say not as I do” “religious” creed. Their eager support of Judge Roy Moore for Senator and the attitudes they displayed during the Brett Kavanaugh hearings went even further than that. But then, what would we expect from 62 million people who voted for a sexual predator for president knowing exactly what he was. 55% of them will actually tell you that sexual assault is no biggie. And that’s just the ones that will say it publicly.

And so, without further ado, a small sample of Republicans who exemplify the rest of their party of hypocrites:

1. Dennis Hof – Kinda sounds like a Nazi already. I wonder if he liked to be addressed as Herr Hof. I used the past tense because Hof is dead. He has ceased to be! No matter though! Nevada Republicans voted for him for a position in their state Assembly anyway. It just didn’t matter. Neither did the fact that Hof, who considered himself a Trump protégé, was a pimp. Hof, discovered by porn star Ron Jeremy, enjoyed the backing of Trump associate Roger Stone and tax-cut activist Grover Norquist.

2. Ralph Shortey (R-OK)  Shortey, a former Oklahoma State Senator received his sentence for child sex trafficking in September, 15 years in the slammer followed by 10 years of supervised probation if he gets out alive. Shortey, 36, faced anywhere from 10 years to life. He was a prominent critic of Oklahoma’s anti-trans “bathroom bill” but, you guessed it, he was caught in a Super 8 Motel with a 17-year-old boy, an open box of condoms, and enough texts on his phone to put him away for life with Bubba.

3. Rep. Jim Jordan (R-OH) – When Jim Jordan, a former Assistant Wrestling Coach at Ohio State was asked about claims that there was sexual abuse of some of the wrestlers during his time on the job and that Jordan had to have known about it, Jordan pulled a Nixon and said he didn’t recall any such thing. Funny about that: 8 former wrestlers said that Jordan had to have been aware but did nothing. Had republicans kept control of the House Of Representatives, Jordan was a likely republican choice for Speaker Of The House. Paul Ryan called him “a man of honesty and a man of integrity.” Now, THAT’S a character witness! Keep in mind that this is the Roy Morre/Brett Kavanaugh Republican Party.

4. Rep. Patrick Meehan (R-PA) – You know how repugs like to blame Obamacare for all of the world’s problems? Well, it seems that in the Republican Mind you can even blame sexual harassment on Obamacare. Meehan had been chosen to investigate sexual harassment in the House Of Representatives by none other than Speaker Paul Ryan who had placed him on the House Ethics Committee and assigned him that specific task. Republicans just have no sense of irony at all!

When Meehan harassed a member of his own staff and she rebuffed him, even citing her relationship with another man, Meehan just couldn’t deal with it. He lost his temper and lashed out. Things were so uncomfortable for her at the Meehan office that she began doing her work remotely rather than come to the office. When she filled a complaint, Meehan was removed from the Ethics Committee. After all, Republicans don’t mind being assholes; they just don’t want to look like assholes.

Meehan offered a novel excuse for his behavior. He said he was feeling tense due to strenuous discussions about Obamacare with his 7th District constituents. He even offered that he does, from time to time lash out at staffers and that sometimes “you go hardest at those that you care the most about.” Creepy!

Eventually a settlement was reached but Meehan does not deny using taxpayer funds to pay for the settlement.

5. Jim Knoblach – Minnesota 8 term Republican state representative abruptly ended his campaign for a 9th term this year after his 23-year-old daughter said that he had molested her for a 12 year period which began when she was 9. According to police reports, she had first made the accusations 2 years ago but says “My family threatened and coerced me into silence for almost 15 years.”

6. Tim Nolan – Former judge Nolan was Chairman of Donald Trump’s presidential campaign in Kentucky. In February, he was sentenced to 20 years in prison for child sex trafficking. Too bad, maybe he could have been nominated to the Supreme Court.

7. Judge Ralph Strother – Just 3 weeks ago, Strother let former Baylor University fraternity president, Jacob Walter Anderson, skate after he was accused of raping a female student at the Christian university in Texas. A plea deal had Anderson pleading guilty to a lesser charge of unlawful restraint. The accuser and her family found out about the deal when they read about it in the local newspaper. Strother and local law enforcement couldn’t even bother to let them know.

I suppose Strother is one of those “If it’s a legitimate rape” guys. Either that or he’s one of those “really no such thing as rape” guys. Strother has a past record of dealing with Baylor men accused of rape very leniently. He received both his bachelor and law degrees from Baylor. Speaks well of Baylor's style of Christianity doesn't it? Republicans probably consider Strother to be future Supreme Court material and, if Anderson were to attend law school and become a judge...

8. President Donald Trump – That Trump is a sadist is beyond discussion. He simply is, and he really has it in for people infected with HIV. He has a bad case of Republican “Fear The Gay Syndrome” so this is a reflection of that.

Trump has just quietly shut down research for a cure for HIV. Obviously, the republican attitude towards the LGBTQ community was a factor in his sadistic, judgmental decision. The action also pleases the religious right mightily. I’m guessing that Trump is so ignorant that he doesn’t know that you don’t have to be gay to get HIV.

9. Vice President Mike Pence – How could I possibly mention little Donnie Trump and his “Fear Of The Gay” without mentioning his sicko choice of VP? In January, Mr. Gay Conversion Therapy was sent to South Korea to represent our government at the Winter Olympics. Pence just couldn’t keep his tongue quiet though as he lashed out at a gay Olympic skater. I guess “Mother” was left at home, sitting in her rocker in the attic.

10. Rep. Matt Shea (R-WA) – Shea is a Republican state representative in Washington. This year Shea published his 4-page manifesto calling for Biblical Law (Think of it as Republican Christianity’s own version of Sharia Law), but, to Republicans, their version is just peachy. Among other twisted things, Shea calls for the usual outlawing of abortion and same sex marriage. He has added a little extra, though. Shea says that men who support gay marriage and abortion rights should be executed. He’s obviously put a lot of thought into this. Interestingly, he seems more concerned about men than women in his manifesto. Hmmm.

So much of Republican thought about sex is based in their twisted version of Christianity and its message of hate. Shea defends his manifesto while making insane claims that he is being persecuted and that the United States is really a Christian nation. This guy, like so many republicans, would make great fodder for a doctoral thesis for students of psychiatry.

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At 10:23 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I wonder how many of these whack jobs would voluntarily admit their sexual sins if they could be publicly whipped and then put in the stocks for public humiliation.

At 6:50 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

the Christian churches have always been big proponents of death sentences.

who would jesus execute? answer: pretty much everyone.


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