Friday, December 23, 2011

The Noah Diaries 2011 (5): "Who is going to shoot Obama?"


Making $$$ off juvie, using live ammo on protesters, the Half-Naked Congressman, Gulf dolphins dying, and more

Then-NY Rep. Chris Lee was caught with his pants on but still had to quit -- very likely because of the more embarrassing stuff that didn't become public until after he was safely out of the, er, picture. (See 2/26.)

by Noah

2/23/11 -– Governors and judges making some slick money on the side

Previously on Let's Make Some Green we heard about a private prison system in Arizona having a dire shortfall in the number of prisoners needed to make a tidy profit. What to do? Well, when you're a key adviser to Gov. Jan Brewer like Chuck Coughlin, you just rile up the public and push for some snappy new laws that allow the authorities to just pull over some cars, and there ya go. Magic happens! "You look like my idea of a jailbird. Looky here. You'll get three squares a day, a bed, a roomie, and plenty of work pickin' up highway trash! You need food and we need inmates. Now that's what we call corporate synergy. It's a bea-u-ti-ful thing."

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Now comes Pennsylvania Luzerne County Judge Mark Ciavarella. He's been convicted of racketeering and tax fraud. He was accused of a kids-for-cash scheme where he placed kids at a "reform facility" or detention center in a sweet deal to fill some empty beds and make the place profitable for he and his buddies. The Commonwealth of Pennsylvania has now had to expunge the records of 6000-plus juveniles that the judge sentenced.

What a system we have! Think it's really any different from some dictator's regime?

It's only a matter of time before we find out that some state administration, corporation, or court system somewhere is harvesting organs from the living and healthy for fun and profit. The undocumented among us would be the most likely targets. They'll just disappear one day, untraceable, powerless, the nearest relative thousands of mile away: the perfect hot new revenue stream. The culprits will even sell your blood, all of it, to the nearest hospital.

2/24/11 -- Indiana Deputy Attorney General Erich Lach wants to use live ammo on protesters

Screen capture from Mother Jones

"Against thugs physically threatening legally-elected state legislators & governor? You’re damn right I advocate deadly force." At least this guy got fired, but he's probably had an even better-payin' job handed out to him by some crony or influence peddler. Maybe he's a lobbyist already. Of course, had he not been soooo public about his comments, he'd still be working in Indiana's so-called justice system.

2/25/11 -- Remember the clown in Georgia who wanted to lead the Republican charge to criminalized miscarriages?
[see "The Noah Diaries (4)," 2/23/11]

Now in the same wacko state Republican Rep. Paul Broun, one of the leaders in the congressional "Obama is a socialist" and "Obama is not a citizen" movements, was asked at a town hall, "Who is going to shoot Obama?" Did Broun confront the cracker boy and condemn his question? Hell, no!

"The thing is, I know there's a lot of frustration with this president."

Sigh. There's nothing like sympathizing with those who support assassination. In fact, a nut who wants a president shot would probably take that as a sign of encouragement. Broun did add that there's an election in 2012. His tepid response was all too typical, and is the kind of thing that leads to people thinking they have some sort of permission.

It's not unlike when another Georgia crackerjackass, named Newt Gingrich, kept screaming about bringing down the government and blowing things up, not long before a couple of mentally unstable righties blew up the federal building in Oklahoma City, or when Bill-O kept screaming "Tiller the baby killer" almost nightly until the deed was done. These cretins know what they're saying. Words matter, especially to the halfwits and the mentally unstable who walk among us.

Meanwhile in Arizona, speaking of halfwits, the state legislature is rushing to beat Utah as the first state to declare the Colt single-action .45 as their state gun. Whichever state is first will be the first to have a state gun. Arizona! Six weeks after Tuscon! Why anyone would set foot in such a place is beyond me. I expect their state legislature will next want to declare their state to have more crazies per capita than Yemen. Do we need any further proof as to how completely and how deeply the insanity of your average Republican runs?

2/25/11 -– President Obama has asked the DoJ to no longer defend the constitutionality of Section 3 of DOMA, the Defense of Marriage Act

FOX's Monica: A liar or just an imbecile? You be the judge.

He made it very clear that it should continue to enforce the law, but immediately, former Nixon nutbag and current FOX "talent" Monica Crowley spat out that "Mubarak Obama" is a dictator who has just declared the act to be unconstitutional, something that, if she could read, she would know he did not do. Even better, fellow FOX nutters Newt Gingrich, who always brings multiple meanings to the phrase "something on the side," and Glenn Beck, who between them have five (count 'em, 5 marriages), got their knickers in a twist over what they see as Obama disrespecting marriage with his statement. I guess it's ‘cause he's only been married once?

2/25/11 -- This morning it suddenly dawned on MSNBC wingnut "Morning Joe" Scarborough that Glenn Beck has gone "out of control" and is "bad for the conservative movement"

To his credit, Scarborough claims he'as been saying that Beck is bad for the conservative movement for two years. But is he really just noticing that Beck is "out of control"? Said Scarborough:
This guy is losing it before our eyes. He's bad for the conservative movement. He's bad for the Republican Party. He's bad for FOX News. . . . Even guys over at FOX News have to start thinking, this can't last. He's out of control.

Gee, nothing like having perceptive people on the air! But let's remember, Scarborough is a creation of Florida politics, and he himself has often sounded not too well tethered to reality. It's only a matter of degree. Beck's unraveling can be no surprise to any sentient human. The saddest thing is that FOX will use him to advance its twisted anti-American agenda and pay him millions to lead struggling viewers astray.

Like I always say, Beck's studio is the Spahn Ranch of our times, and his viewers are all Squeaky Fromes. One of them took a shot at President Ford. No doubt FOX wants something similar now. The rest of the asylum escapees on FOX aren't any different. If they were, they'd avoid him like the plague that he is.

2/26/11 -- Why did Chris Lee, the Half-Naked Congressman, choose to go so quickly?

You remember former Republican Congressman Chris Lee of New York (seen here and at the top of this post in his famous photographic self-portrait). Barring the unforeseen, Lee's got to get this year's La Cage à Congress Award. He got caught with his pants on and still had to resign! Now that's a loser! But wait, there's more, more than meets the eye too! Remember when Congressman Lee recently resigned so suddenly after a seemingly tame-by-Washington-standards (if there are such things) sex scandal? The married congressman's scandal seemed to consist merely of him trolling for a date via Craigslist. His stupidity was pursuing his philandering in such a public manner. After all, a congressman without a little something on the side is probably as rare as a baby brontosaurus grazing on a tree in your backyard.

Repug supporters quickly pointed to Lee's good sense in resigning and doing the right thing. They pointed it out as an example of his good Republican integrity, while they ignored the stories of David "Diapers" Vitter and John Ensign and renewed their heaps of hypocritical scorn upon Barney Frank. Even dead Democrats were not spared, as the Kennedy names were dug up for fresh finger-pointing and very theatrical puritanical scorn.

So why did Lee head for the hills so quickly? Well, now we have stories coming out about his desires for transvestites and cross-dressers. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Even the sainted Republican former head of the FBI was known to don a nice black dress and call himself Mary every once in awhile. No, to me, the only thing wrong is the hypocrisy, and of course any potential illegality that might be involved. Personally, I would rather see a society where a sitting congressperson could sit in Congress wearing whatever he, she, or he-she damn well pleased -- and as far as I know, I don't have an ounce of French blood in my veins! Hell, in England I seriously doubt that you can rise to high office without putting on a dress and carrying a little handbag every once in a while at least.

So now it is strongly alleged that Lee, who advertised himself as "Sexy classy guy for passable TS/CD," "smooth, hard body," and "I promise not to disappoint," has more to tell about his life's journey. People calling themselves Holly and Fiona are coming out of the woodwork to force him out of his closet. The whole thing reminds me of the stories whirling around Louisiana Rep. Bob Livingston, who was "Speaker for a Day" when über-hypocrite Newt Gingrich had to resign for his own affairs after spending so much time impeaching President Clinton for his. Livingston was to succeed Newtieboy but quickly resigned as news about his copious number of extramarital affairs rose to the surface and began to even morph into whispers of youngsters and whips.

I only wish that Rep. Louie "The Bestiality Guy" Gohmert or Senate Minority Leader Miss McConnell had answered the ad, but hey, maybe they did and we'll hear about it soon. A guy can dream, can't he?

2/27/11 -- Sad, pathetic really, to watch NBC's David Gregory provide Wisconsin governor/dictator Scott Walker a forum for spinning his lies and neo-fascist Republican extremism . . .

. . . on this morning's Meet the Press. Gregory was once a journalist. Now he pitches lighter-than-air questions if he pitches questions at all to politicians who would be Idi Amin if they could just get a chance. Is Gregory intimidated by the arrogance of people like Walker, or is he owned by the interests the people they represent? If it's the latter, perhaps Meet the Press would be more honestly presented if Gregory dressed up like a NASCAR driver, wearing the logos of all the people he's owned and operated by.

2/27/11 -- Gulf Coast baby dolphins dying at 10 times normal rate

We need an organization that's not unlike those Christian Children Foundations where you send money and get a picture of the kid. In this case you would send money and the foundation would send a dead sea mammal or a dead fish to BP until their headquarters is buried in rotting, reeking carcasses. More than once in my life I have dreamed of buying a frozen fish, popping it in a plastic bubble-lined Jiffy envelope, and sending it to a deserving company. Maybe, just maybe, I've even done it, but that's not for discussion here. Two or three days' delivery time for the package should make it ready for the grill when it arrives, no? Definitely in the summer, I'm sure!

2/27/11 -- Martin Luther King Jr. haunts the fevered fantasies of right-wing Repugs

Mississippi Gov. Haley Barbour says he saw MLK speak in his hometown of Yazoo City in 1962. MLK never, ever spoke in Yazoo City. Willard "Mitt" Romney says he saw his father, Michigan Gov. George Romney, march with MLK. Never happened.

Is this some sort of guilt/compensation thing? Or is it just regular garden-variety hallucinating? Will Barbour soon tell us that he was born a poor black child?

2/28/11-- What was that Repugs were saying about gay guys recruiting at playgrounds?

This conservative is so bizarre that I don't want to spend time writing about him. You can click on this link to see what this one's about, but I want this self-described "Christian patriot" and "pastor" guy wearing ankle bracelets on his legs and a little one, a very tiny one, on his Southern Christian mini-manhood. The Republican big tent sure is somethin'.

History in the making:
Selections from THE NOAH DIARIES 2011

Yesterday: (4) "If some of those jobs are lost, so be it" (John Boehner). Plus: Michele B & breast-feeding, Taibbi on Wall St. prosecutions, The Donald's the man?, war on workers, war on women, and more (2/16-23/11)
Tomorrow: (6) "I really don't think that collective bargaining has any place in representative government" (Sen. Jim DeMint). Plus: Madrassas and palm trees in WI, Mike Huckabee's Mau-Maus, Sean & Kase, the real NFL lockout victims, and more (3/2-7/11)


And don't forget 2010's Year in Review series and 2009's "12 Days of Christmas Scorn"!

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