Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Republicans in Their Own Words -- Quotations of a Party on Crack, 2010 Version: Part 2, When Cousins Marry


Christine O'Donnell demonstrates that she's equally knowledgeable about the Constitution and science. (See No. 2.)

by Noah

There’s nothing much to say, nothing much to add to yesterday's explanatory note. Not much spin: just the words as they left the twisted minds of some very sick people. Well, OK, a few contempt-filled snide comments from me.

1. “I’d like my life back.”
-- BP’s Tony Hayward

Yeah, I know, he’s not a Republican. But can there be any doubt as to what his party affiliation would be if he were a U.S. citizen?

OK, jackass Tony is out of the way. He’s a pompous, stuck-up, sanctimonious Brit. They’re a dime a gross over there in that tiny island of the inbreds. What else is new? Let’s get to the Repugs.

2. “You’re telling me that the separation of church and state is found in the First Amendment?”
-- Delaware senatorial candidate Christine O’Donnell, during her debate/sitcom with Democratic opponent Chris Coons

The most pathetic thing may be that the ultra-smug O’Donnell thought the audience of lawyers, law professors, and law students was laughing with her.

3. “Do you know, where does this phrase ‘separation of church and state’ come from? It was not in Jefferson's letter to the Danbury Baptists. . . . The exact phrase ‘separation of church and state’ came out of Adolf Hitler’s mouth, that’s where it comes from. So the next time your liberal friends talk about the separation of Church and State, ask why they’re Nazis.”
-- Glen Urquhart, Tea Party Republican nominee for Congress in Delaware

Forget about that book What’s the Matter With Kansas? Think about what’s going on in this little state, one-third of which is practically suburban Philadelphia, the "City of Brotherly Love.” The other two-thirds of the state is totally Teabag and rural, very rural, and the evidence is pointing to a different kind of love between close relatives.

4. "I’ve always been fascinated by the fact that here was a relatively small country that from a strictly military point of view accomplished incredible things.”
-- Ohio Republican darling (and friend of soon-to-be-House Speaker John Boehner) Rich Iott, explaining his penchant for dressing up in a German Waffen SS uniform to join in on Nazi reenactments

Republicans certainly seem to spend a lot of time thinking about Nazi Germany.

5. “There’s a good question today if you are standing on the gulf, and that is: Where is the oil?”
-- Fox News anchor Brit Hume, on May 16, mocking the very idea of an oil disaster in the Gulf of Mexico

Ask a dead pelican or sea turtle, Brit. In fact, ask anyone who doesn’t watch Fox News.

6. “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on you.”
-- Rep. Virginia Foxx, North Carolina’s human Nothing Box

And shame on NC for sending Foxx back to Congress for another term. You can “get fooled again.”

7. “I hope that’s not where we’re going, but you know, if this Congress keeps going the way it is, people are really looking toward those Second Amendment remedies and saying, 'My goodness what can we do to turn this country around?' I’ll tell you, the first thing we need to do is take Harry Reid out.”
-- Nevada Senate candidate Sharron Angle, in an interview with hate radio host Lars Larson back in January

8. And, speaking of hate: “The only way to reduce the number of nuclear weapons is to use them.”
-- Rush Limbaugh

9. "[An] Indonesian Muslim turned welfare thug.”
-- National Tea Party Express spokesbozo Mark Williams, on President Obama

10. “Instead of handing out the welfare checks, we’ll teach people how to earn their check. We’ll teach them personal hygiene . . . the personal things they don’t get when they come from dysfunctional homes.”
-- New York Republican candidate for governor Carl Paladino, discussing why people are poor, August 2010

11. “It may be a blessing in disguise. . . . Something happened a long time ago in Haiti, and people might not want to talk about it. Haitians were originally under the heel of the French. You know, Napoleon the Third, or whatever. And they got together and swore a pact to the Devil. They said, 'We will serve you if you will get us free from the French.' True story. And so, the Devil said, 'Okay, it’s a deal.' Ever since, they have been cursed by one thing after another.”
-- Pat Robertson, back in January, explaining why Haiti suffered such a devastating earthquake

Well, maybe he’s right, if we accept that the International Monetary Fund is the Devil that has kept that country in a state of chaos for so long.

13. “I’m telling you that this works. You know, before we all started having health care, in the olden days, our grandparents, they would bring a chicken to the doctor. They would say, ‘I’ll paint your house.' I mean, that’s the old days of what people would do to get health care with your doctors. Doctors are very sympathetic people. I’m not backing down from that system.”
-- Nevada Republican Senate primary candidate Sue Lowden, explaining her “Health Care Made Easy” plan to voters in April

The voters decided that Sharron Angle was the sharper candidate. Someone needs to tell Area 51 that a couple of their aliens have gone missing.

14. “They intend to vote on the Sabbath, during Lent, to take away the liberty that we have right from God. This is an affront to God.”
-- Iowa Republican Rep. Steve King, to Glenn Beck, in March

King was expressing his feelings about voting on the health care bill, and sounding not unlike a jihadist while he was at it.

15. “We used to hustle over the border for health care we received in Canada. And I think now, isn’t that ironic?”
-- Sarah Palin, demonizer of Canadian health care as a socialist death-panel creator

"Ironic" wasn’t quite the word I was thinking of, but it rhymes!

16. “I’m not a witch . . . I’m you.”
-- Delaware’s fine Republican Senate candidate (again!)

You are definitely not me, Christine. I’m not even sure that we are the same species. Yours needs an emergency influx of fresh genes, or else you will reach an evolutionary dead end. Fortunately, you do not believe in evolution. Bye-bye!

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At 12:07 PM, Blogger Bulworth said...


At 12:57 PM, Anonymous Noah said...

Bulworth: Picky, Picky :) Thanks for the catch. But, if Republicans can have their own reality, why can't I have one where the number 12 doesn't exist?
Actually, I took it out and didn't re-number. Sloppy, I know. If I was a Republican, I'd just blame Bill Clinton. It will be in the next installment.


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