Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Bye-bye, Bugman. All you have to do to get out of that messy Texas congressional race is, for once in your miserable life, to tell the simple truth


As you probably know by now, the attempt by Tom "The Hammer" DeLay (aka "The Bugman") to get off the ballot in his old Texas CD was thwarted yesterday by, of all people, Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia, who refused to stay the U.S. Circuit Court's ruling that he has to stay on the ballot.

"The case was routed to Scalia, who handles appeals from the 5th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals. The New Orleans-based appeals court last week sided with Democrats' claims that, if DeLay is eligible to run but drops out of the race, the Republican Party cannot substitute another candidate."--from the A.P. report

Two notes:

(1) How could Nino? Easy!

While I would never trust Justice Nino any farther than, say, I would trust the Hammer himself, people have to understand what a tricky business judicial election-fixing is. You can't just assume, well, he done it once, so he'll do it all the time.

I think what the justice would want us to understand is that judicial election-fixing is a delicate as well as fine art. "You have to pick your spots," I'm sure he would say. "Which is why you've got to really make it count when you do drop the hammer (you should excuse the expression). When it comes to election-fixing, he fixes best who fixes least."

(2) C'mon, it's a slam dunk, Bugman

Since the whole case hinges on the Hammer's eligibility, the case should really be a slam dunk for the Republicans, and you have to wonder why they've botched it so badly so far. Forget the scam about his not living in Texas anymore, when the missus remains parked in the old homestead. All you have to do is get the little Bugman up there in front of the TV cameras and have him tell the simple truth (a novelty, admittedly, but desperate times call for desperate measures):

"Me? Eligible? What have you been smoking? Come on, it's me, the Hammer. Why, for starters, I'm a crook, remember? Forget those crappy state campaign-money-laundering charges. They'll never make that crap stick. But haven't you people heard about all the other stuff I'm likely to be indicted for? Does the name Jack Abramoff mean anything to you? Hello! What, I'm going to serve in Congress while I"m trying to save my ass in court and then while I"m rotting in the slammer? What do you think the whole point was of converting all that campaign cash I raised into money for legal expenses?"

Of course there's plenty more the Bugman could say to prove his ineligibility, but that should be enough, don't you think?


An hour ago Roll Call announced that DeLay is refusing to run; period. Lying to the end, DeLay released a statement to the media: "Earlier this year, I resigned from the U.S. House of Representatives and became a resident of the State of Virginia to establish my new business, and where I now legally reside, pay taxes and vote. This decision was and is irrevocable. ... As a Virginia resident, I will take the actions necessary to remove my name from the Texas ballot. To do anything else would be hypocrisy."

Republicans are busy hunting up a sacrificial pig write-in candidate to replace DeLay on the November ballot. The best coverage of this mess is at the Stakeholder where Jesse is roasting these clowns big time! The Washington Post is also covering DeLay's cut and run approach to the race.


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