Tuesday, September 27, 2005

WHAT'S WITH ALL THE NEW BROUHAHA OVER PAT TILLMAN? PLENTY-- READ ALL ABOUT IT!

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One of my favorite websites, Ron Gunzburger's Politics 1 has a summary this morning called "A WAR HERO FOR THE LEFT." He explains that "If those progressives who oppose the Iraq War want a fallen military hero to adopt as a martyr, the soldier should clearly be Pat Tillman. Check out the detailed new profile (http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2005/09/25/MNGD7ETMNM1.DTL/) from the San Francisco Chronicle, in which Tillman's immediate parents, close friends, and fellow Rangers all cooperate to present a detailed look at the life and death of this former pro football star. It turns out Tillman gave up the NFL and joined the Army post-9/11 in his hope to fight Al Qaeda forces in Afghanistan." Gunzburger goes on to explain that while the neo-fascist and raving maniac Ann Coulter praised him after his death as "an American original -- virtuous, pure and masculine like only an American male can be" (although he doesn't mention anything about Coulter's adam's apple of sex change operation), it turns out Tillman was a liberal. "He opposed the Iraq war as 'illegal,' urged his fellow Rangers to support John Kerry for President, and leftist Noam Chomsky was his favorite author. His family is still pressing for a truthful full-scale investigation into his death by friendly fire and the resulting cover-up. The Pentagon just launched a fourth formal review of his death, agreeing the previous three were highly flawed and misleading. 'Pat was a real hero, not what they used him as,' said Tillman's mother, referring to the Bush Administration."

DownWithTyranny has obtained an e-mail sent from Mike Hawk ("Special Officer: GOP- The Christian Unit; 101 st Laptop Division" in Econdido, California) to Bill O'Reilly at the Fox "News" Corporation's O'Reilly Factor. Don't ask me how I got it.

Dear Mr. O'Reilly,

My name is Mike Hawk and my life has been a real tough go the last few years. A real living hell! No matter what I do, I can't seem to get myself completely right with the lord or....with anyone really. It's not that I'm a bad guy. Heck, I'm just like you a walking, talking, breathing poster child/man for good clean traditional living and for fighting the right fight when its right to fight the right fight for the right to fight for the right!
I'm righting to you today Bill because I'm a big fan of your "no spin zone" and I believe deep down that I know the perfect way for us both to avenge ourselves from the latest beat downs we've taken from those hate filled lefties. One strong man of values, helping another strong man. Mike Hawk and you! (I love the sound of that phrase.) Can you hear it?
Recently, I was attacked by some skanky liberals in my neighborhood for trying to recruit young, able bodied men to go fight in this war, our leaders triumphant war in Iraq. Yet, I was accused of lurking and loitering near young able bodied men even though I support this war day in and night out with my red, white and blue flashing lights and with my life size paper mache commander Bush "mission accomplished " statue which stands in front of my condo.
Bill, I want to make it clear to you that I am not a lurker of young men. Heck, I'm a conservative GOP patriotic warrior fighter just like you. A man! A masculine mean wild boar of a man! And just like you Bill, I can give a woman an orgasm like she'll never forget and just like you I enjoy to loofa a woman and rub her boobs at the same time!
Anyway, I'm 100 percent Republicanista but gosh darndit I'm having a real rough time with my tough guy image like you are these days. And Bill also like you my image in the eyes of the lord Jesus has gone to hell in a poop holder.
Now, for instance I saw you take a beating from that Phil Donahue guy the other night and it made me realize how you have to be fair and balanced sometimes and let them rip you to shreds now and again. I understand!
But now Bill its really time to attack again and I know the perfect target. Pat Tillman! I'm sure you know that he and his followers are now against our war in Iraq and slamming our Bush just like that Islamic woman Cindy Sheehan has done. When you attacked her on TV you shined bright and made it look easy. You showed her to be the greedy traitor that she is. We can both do the attacking now together against Tillman, his parents and his followers. I Mike Hawk want to help you start a divine smear campaign against him and his family.
His mother will be easy to shout down and your fancy technique of screaming at people to "shut up" on your show, which btw, I use at the mall all the time, it will be a real WMD! He he he!
I can coordinate the campaign from here in California or you can fly me to the Fox news studios in NYC and we can brainstorm together. I can also enlist The General JC Christian to fight from his compound in Utah. Gosh, you and me, two tough guys fighting evil for America!
Bill, I'm sure once we get rolling we'll even have Karl exacting his ROVENGE on these traitors and then God will no longer be angry at us both for having been taken down by liberal anti war wimps!
I wait for you now to plan this campaign with me.

Valiantly yours,

Mike Hawk

2 Comments:

At 11:35 AM, Blogger Philbert Suggs said...

Wow, I always thought Mike Hawk was crazy but now I know. He is the same guy I believe I read about who campaigned against intelligent design in San Diego schools thinking it was an intellectual group of gay interior designers who were going to corrupt the children in San Diego County. When he realized it was actually creationism they were trying to teach he came out hard for the proposal and helped raise over $150. for the campaign.
Mike Hawk however, is quite good looking.

 
At 7:23 AM, Blogger David said...

um...are you serious? sounds like a real man to me.

 

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