Rushin’ To Destruction, 2019 In Review, Part 2: What If The Aliens Landed And Said "Take Me To Your Leader?"

-by Noah

Rather than just go off on something Donald J. is for Jar Jar Trump has done, or rant about his latest lie, crime, or atrocity (been there done that and will do it again), I thought it would just be a nice end of the year move to list all of the one or two line metaphorical descriptions of his mental state and/or brain power outages (You know, like “That guy isn’t playin’ with a full deck) that I have assiduously created or collected over the days and months of the scary year of 2019. I’ve done so thinking they might come in handy some day.

I mean, suppose the little green saucerfolks suddenly arrived in my yard and asked me to take them to our leader. What would I say; something along the lines of, “Sure, if you promise to take him and his entire staff with you when you go back home?”

That, probably, would not be the very first thing that popped into my brain. Instead I would be filled with embarrassment for all humankind. I could never expose our visitors who had come so far to a man who would tell them about the Bowling Green Massacre, swear that windmills cause cancer and raking prevents forest fires, or that sharpies have magical powers.

Would I try to convince the aliens go to some other country. say, Canada, Germany, or France, who at least have more intelligent or articulate leaders? Alas, that only solves one problem; maybe two. However, flawed as all world leaders are, at least if the saucerfolks met with someone other than Trump, they might not judge all Earthlings on the basis of Trump and instantly decide to vaporize the entire planet.

I suppose I could just take them to the advanced physics and math departments of Stanford or M.I.T. or maybe to a library so I could point out some great works of literature so they wouldn’t see fit to kill us all. They would see that there are at least a relative few sentient beings with more than the intelligence of a stunted begonia around.

But first, I’d have to give them a reasonable excuse not to take them to Washington. That’s where the following list comes in. I would recite my list of very good reasons why they shouldn’t waste their time meeting with “our leader” and then hope it would be enough to convince them to spare us. Here be the list. Some have been around for a while. Some are new. All apply.

1. The president’s cheese has fallen off the cracker.

2. If you put our leader’s brain on the sharp edge of a razor blade, it would look like a bb sitting on a 4 lane highway.

3. Our leader will never win any prizes at the science fair.

4. Trump is several fries short of a Happy Meal.

5. Our president is so dense that light bends around him.

6. Trump’s ancestors got into the gene pool when the lifeguard wasn’t watching.

7. Trump’s elevator doesn’t go to the penthouse.

8. Trump is so dumb that if it were raining soup, he’d be outside with a fork.

9. Trump is a human(?) San Andreas Fault Line. His next slip could kill millions.

10. Trump would bring a box of bees to a spelling bee instead of a brain.

11. Our president’s head is living proof that nature definitely does not abhor a vacuum.

12. Trump is so dumb that blondes tell jokes about him.

13. Trump’s mind is like concrete, all mixed up and permanently set.

14. Trump has a room temperature IQ, in Celsius.

15. Trump’s wheels aren’t turning. The hamsters are dead.

16. Trump is the pebble you can’t shake out of your sandal.

17. Our president is more nervous than a nun in a patch of flying cucumbers.

18. Trump is that flickering bulb on the Christmas tree just before the whole string goes out.

19. Trump is the dead cockroach you find in the bottom of your cup of yogurt.

20. There’s a flashing light on Trump’s forehead that says “Check Engine.”

21. Trump is not the sharpest hook in the tackle box.

22. Trump is a few inches short of a penis.

23. Sadly, our leader’s mom ate lead paint when she was pregnant. It’s a family tradition.

Of course, maybe Trump is the aliens’ secret weapon. Maybe it was they, not Putin, who planted him here. And they’re just here to collect him and take him to the next planet they wish to destroy.

Midnight Meme Of The Day!

by Noah

I suppose that the the mystery of why the world is being inflicted with the presence of Señor Trumpanzee could be explained by his escaping from a cage in a UFO. Was he being carted away by aliens attempting a benevolent act on humanity's behalf? Or, is he an alien himself? If it is the later, there's a special irony in the fact that over 60 million fools who get real uncomfortable, if not angry, when they encounter a name that's "different" or "funny," voted for an alien; illegal or not.

Who knows the truth here? The Smoking Man? Fox Mulder? Good cartoonists have a talent for lifting veils and getting right to the core of our reality. This particular cartoon could explain a lot: Kellyanne Conway? Jeanine Pirro? Rudy? Are they all aliens or just creatures that escaped the net as the folks who crashed at Roswell attempted to improve humanity's chances? Next time you see a picture of Mitch McConnell, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, or Don Jr., take a real good look. I'm in no way disparaging any creature, human or not, for its physical appearance, but, man, when I see some of these people drift across my TV screen, I see alien shapeshifters that can barely keep their disguises together.

If Aliens Decide To Visit, Would You Want Trump In Charge? Just Asking For A Friend

For some reason, the government wants to keep its UFO programs secret. The Pentagon hides the UFO office and makes it almost impossible to find in its budget requests. Congress obliges with increasingly secretive appropriations for the military UFO hunters, even though the Advanced Aerospace Threat Identification Program went the way of the dodo bird with the retirement of its greatest advocate, Harry Reid. Yesterday, the NY Times had a team on the case, which reported that "For years, the program investigated reports of unidentified flying objects, according to Defense Department officials, interviews with program participants and records obtained by the New York Times. It was run by a military intelligence official, Luis Elizondo, on the fifth floor of the Pentagon’s C Ring, deep within the building’s maze. The Defense Department has never before acknowledged the existence of the program, which it says it shut down in 2012. But its backers say that, while the Pentagon ended funding for the effort at that time, the program remains in existence. For the past five years, they say, officials with the program have continued to investigate episodes brought to them by service members, while also carrying out their other Defense Department duties."

The shadowy program-- parts of it remain classified-- began in 2007, and initially it was largely funded at the request of Harry Reid, the Nevada Democrat who was the Senate majority leader at the time and who has long had an interest in space phenomena. Most of the money went to an aerospace research company run by a billionaire entrepreneur and longtime friend of Mr. Reid’s, Robert Bigelow, who is currently working with NASA to produce expandable craft for humans to use in space.



On CBS’s 60 Minutes in May, Mr. Bigelow said he was “absolutely convinced” that aliens exist and that U.F.O.s have visited Earth.

Working with Mr. Bigelow’s Las Vegas-based company, the program produced documents that describe sightings of aircraft that seemed to move at very high velocities with no visible signs of propulsion, or that hovered with no apparent means of lift.

Officials with the program have also studied videos of encounters between unknown objects and American military aircraft-- including one released in August of a whitish oval object, about the size of a commercial plane, chased by two Navy F/A-18F fighter jets from the aircraft carrier Nimitz off the coast of San Diego in 2004.

Mr. Reid, who retired from Congress this year, said he was proud of the program. “I’m not embarrassed or ashamed or sorry I got this thing going,” Mr. Reid said in a recent interview in Nevada. “I think it’s one of the good things I did in my congressional service. I’ve done something that no one has done before.”

Two other former senators and top members of a defense spending subcommittee-- Ted Stevens, an Alaska Republican, and Daniel K. Inouye, a Hawaii Democrat-- also supported the program. Mr. Stevens died in 2010, and Mr. Inouye in 2012.

While not addressing the merits of the program, Sara Seager, an astrophysicist at M.I.T., cautioned that not knowing the origin of an object does not mean that it is from another planet or galaxy. “When people claim to observe truly unusual phenomena, sometimes it’s worth investigating seriously,” she said. But, she added, “what people sometimes don’t get about science is that we often have phenomena that remain unexplained.”

James E. Oberg, a former NASA space shuttle engineer and the author of 10 books on spaceflight who often debunks U.F.O. sightings, was also doubtful. “There are plenty of prosaic events and human perceptual traits that can account for these stories,” Mr. Oberg said. “Lots of people are active in the air and don’t want others to know about it. They are happy to lurk unrecognized in the noise, or even to stir it up as camouflage.”

Still, Mr. Oberg said he welcomed research. “There could well be a pearl there,” he said.

In response to questions from The Times, Pentagon officials this month acknowledged the existence of the program, which began as part of the Defense Intelligence Agency. Officials insisted that the effort had ended after five years, in 2012.

“It was determined that there were other, higher priority issues that merited funding, and it was in the best interest of the DoD to make a change,” a Pentagon spokesman, Thomas Crosson, said in an emailed statement, referring to the Department of Defense.

But Mr. Elizondo said the only thing that had ended was the effort’s government funding, which dried up in 2012. From then on, Mr. Elizondo said in an interview, he worked with officials from the Navy and the C.I.A. He continued to work out of his Pentagon office until this past October, when he resigned to protest what he characterized as excessive secrecy and internal opposition.

“Why aren’t we spending more time and effort on this issue?” Mr. Elizondo wrote in a resignation letter to Defense Secretary Jim Mattis.

Mr. Elizondo said that the effort continued and that he had a successor, whom he declined to name.

U.F.O.s have been repeatedly investigated over the decades in the United States, including by the American military. In 1947, the Air Force began a series of studies that investigated more than 12,000 claimed U.F.O. sightings before it was officially ended in 1969. The project, which included a study code-named Project Blue Book, started in 1952, concluded that most sightings involved stars, clouds, conventional aircraft or spy planes, although 701 remained unexplained.

Robert C. Seamans Jr., the secretary of the Air Force at the time, said in a memorandum announcing the end of Project Blue Book that it “no longer can be justified either on the ground of national security or in the interest of science.”

Mr. Reid said his interest in U.F.O.s came from Mr. Bigelow. In 2007, Mr. Reid said in the interview, Mr. Bigelow told him that an official with the Defense Intelligence Agency had approached him wanting to visit Mr. Bigelow’s ranch in Utah, where he conducted research.

Mr. Reid said he met with agency officials shortly after his meeting with Mr. Bigelow and learned that they wanted to start a research program on U.F.O.s. Mr. Reid then summoned Mr. Stevens and Mr. Inouye to a secure room in the Capitol.

“I had talked to John Glenn a number of years before,” Mr. Reid said, referring to the astronaut and former senator from Ohio, who died in 2016. Mr. Glenn, Mr. Reid said, had told him he thought that the federal government should be looking seriously into U.F.O.s, and should be talking to military service members, particularly pilots, who had reported seeing aircraft they could not identify or explain.

The sightings were not often reported up the military’s chain of command, Mr. Reid said, because service members were afraid they would be laughed at or stigmatized.

The meeting with Mr. Stevens and Mr. Inouye, Mr. Reid said, “was one of the easiest meetings I ever had.”

He added, “Ted Stevens said, ‘I’ve been waiting to do this since I was in the Air Force.’” (The Alaska senator had been a pilot in the Army’s air force, flying transport missions over China during World War II.)

During the meeting, Mr. Reid said, Mr. Stevens recounted being tailed by a strange aircraft with no known origin, which he said had followed his plane for miles.

None of the three senators wanted a public debate on the Senate floor about the funding for the program, Mr. Reid said. “This was so-called black money,” he said. “Stevens knows about it, Inouye knows about it. But that was it, and that’s how we wanted it.” Mr. Reid was referring to the Pentagon budget for classified programs.

...The program collected video and audio recordings of reported U.F.O. incidents, including footage from a Navy F/A-18 Super Hornet showing an aircraft surrounded by some kind of glowing aura traveling at high speed and rotating as it moves. The Navy pilots can be heard trying to understand what they are seeing. “There’s a whole fleet of them,” one exclaims. Defense officials declined to release the location and date of the incident.

“Internationally, we are the most backward country in the world on this issue,” Mr. Bigelow said in an interview. “Our scientists are scared of being ostracized, and our media is scared of the stigma. China and Russia are much more open and work on this with huge organizations within their countries. Smaller countries like Belgium, France, England and South American countries like Chile are more open, too. They are proactive and willing to discuss this topic, rather than being held back by a juvenile taboo.”

By 2009, Mr. Reid decided that the program had made such extraordinary discoveries that he argued for heightened security to protect it. “Much progress has been made with the identification of several highly sensitive, unconventional aerospace-related findings,” Mr. Reid said in a letter to William Lynn III, a deputy defense secretary at the time, requesting that it be designated a “restricted special access program” limited to a few listed officials.

A 2009 Pentagon briefing summary of the program prepared by its director at the time asserted that “what was considered science fiction is now science fact,” and that the United States was incapable of defending itself against some of the technologies discovered. Mr. Reid’s request for the special designation was denied.

Mr. Elizondo, in his resignation letter of Oct. 4, said there was a need for more serious attention to “the many accounts from the Navy and other services of unusual aerial systems interfering with military weapon platforms and displaying beyond-next-generation capabilities.” He expressed his frustration with the limitations placed on the program, telling Mr. Mattis that “there remains a vital need to ascertain capability and intent of these phenomena for the benefit of the armed forces and the nation.”

Mr. Elizondo has now joined Mr. Puthoff and another former Defense Department official, Christopher K. Mellon, who was a deputy assistant secretary of defense for intelligence, in a new commercial venture called To the Stars Academy of Arts and Science. They are speaking publicly about their efforts as their venture aims to raise money for research into U.F.O.s.

In the interview, Mr. Elizondo said he and his government colleagues had determined that the phenomena they had studied did not seem to originate from any country. “That fact is not something any government or institution should classify in order to keep secret from the people,” he said.

For his part, Mr. Reid said he did not know where the objects had come from. “If anyone says they have the answers now, they’re fooling themselves,” he said. “We do not know.”

I certainly do not know-- and I had 3 scary but not aggressive UFO experiences in the 1970s (long after I had quit using drugs, one near Sitges south of Barcelona, one on the North Sea near Alkmaar northwest of Amsterdam and one in Noe Valley in San Francisco). The most physical one was on the beach in Holland when my girlfriend and I, late at night, watched a tiny speck of light rapidly descend and hover just above us, as big as a barn-- a big barn. We never saw who was driving but they communicated with us both telepathically. They wanted us to come with them-- seemed completely aware of what was going on with us (a breakup)-- but didn't insist. In fact they were very amicable and reassuring that they had no intention of forcing us to do anything. When we said we weren't going to go with them, they said bye-bye and took off and because a speck of light again. Years later in San Fran, they indicated it was my last chance to come with them and I got the feeling it was either the same beings or beings that the ones on the beach near Alkmaar had told about me. I said no and they said bye-bye again. I never heard from them again.

Blink-182's big breakthrough third album, Enema of the State had sold over 15 million copies when lead singer Tom DeLonge left the band. If the anti-Hillary Wikileaks leaks are to be believed, DeLonge has some kind of a relationship with Hillary campaign chairman John Podesta (a lobbyist and former Obama chief of staff). Podesta's in a documentary DeLonge produced about UFOs and the two of them emailed about UFOs as well. Hillary's campaign didn't want to talk about UFOs but certainly blamed the Podesta-Blink-182 leak on the Trump's pal Vlad in the Kremlin.

Evangelicals May Be Abandoning Trump... But Where Do The UFOs Stand?

A member of Trump's "evangelical council," James MacDonald of Harvest Bible Chapel, an Illinois megachurch, emailed the other members of the Trumpist council that Trump's "grab-the-pussy" comments were "truly the kind of misogynistic trash that reveals a man to be lecherous and worthless-- not the guy who gets politely ignored, but the guy who gets a punch in the head from worthy men who hear him talk that way about women... No more defending Mr. Trump as simply foolish or loose lipped."

The Satanic-controlled wing of the American evangelical movement-- hucksters and right-wing prostitutes like Pat Robertson, Ralph Reed, Robert Jeffress, James Dobson and Jerry Falwell Jr.-- are all firmly in thrall to Trump and 100% in his sulphuric camp. Christianity Today's editors... not so much. The influential magazine is politically neutral but the editorial on Trumpy-the-Clown wasn't. "We are especially not indifferent," executive editor Andy Crouch wrote, "when the gospel is at stake... [W]e recognize that all earthly governments partake, to a greater or lesser extent, in what the Bible calls idolatry: substituting the creation for the Creator and the earthly ruler for the true God."

This past week, the latest (though surely not last) revelations from Trump’s past have caused many evangelical leaders to reconsider. This is heartening, but it comes awfully late. What Trump is, everyone has known and has been able to see for decades, let alone the last few months. The revelations of the past week of his vile and crude boasting about sexual conquest-- indeed, sexual assault-- might have been shocking, but they should have surprised no one.

Indeed, there is hardly any public person in America today who has more exemplified the “earthly nature” (“flesh” in the King James and the literal Greek) that Paul urges the Colossians to shed: “sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires, and greed, which is idolatry” (3:5). This is an incredibly apt summary of Trump’s life to date. Idolatry, greed, and sexual immorality are intertwined in individual lives and whole societies. Sexuality is designed to be properly ordered within marriage, a relationship marked by covenant faithfulness and profound self-giving and sacrifice. To indulge in sexual immorality is to make oneself and one’s desires an idol. That Trump has been, his whole adult life, an idolater of this sort, and a singularly unrepentant one, should have been clear to everyone.

And therefore it is completely consistent that Trump is an idolater in many other ways. He has given no evidence of humility or dependence on others, let alone on God his Maker and Judge. He wantonly celebrates strongmen and takes every opportunity to humiliate and demean the vulnerable. He shows no curiosity or capacity to learn. He is, in short, the very embodiment of what the Bible calls a fool.

...Most Christians who support Trump have done so with reluctant strategic calculation, largely based on the president’s power to appoint members of the Supreme Court. Important issues are indeed at stake, including the right of Christians and adherents of other religions to uphold their vision of sexual integrity and marriage even if they are in the cultural minority.

But there is a point at which strategy becomes its own form of idolatry-- an attempt to manipulate the levers of history in favor of the causes we support. Strategy becomes idolatry, for ancient Israel and for us today, when we make alliances with those who seem to offer strength-- the chariots of Egypt, the vassal kings of Rome-- at the expense of our dependence on God who judges all nations, and in defiance of God’s manifest concern for the stranger, the widow, the orphan, and the oppressed. Strategy becomes idolatry when we betray our deepest values in pursuit of earthly influence. And because such strategy requires capitulating to idols and princes and denying the true God, it ultimately always fails.

Enthusiasm for a candidate like Trump gives our neighbors ample reason to doubt that we believe Jesus is Lord. They see that some of us are so self-interested, and so self-protective, that we will ally ourselves with someone who violates all that is sacred to us-- in hope, almost certainly a vain hope given his mendacity and record of betrayal, that his rule will save us.

That's not nearly as odd as a Facebook posting from Glenn Beck this week that said "If the consequence of standing against Trump and for principles is indeed the election of Hillary Clinton, so be it. At least it is a moral, ethical choice." You go, girl!



You must have liked a Blink-182 song some time in the late '90s, no? They're still around, kind of, but not really because lead singer Tom DeLonge left the band. Their big breakthrough third album, Enema of the State had sold over 15 million copies. If the Wikileaks statements are to be believed, DeLonge has some kind of a relationship with Hillary campaign chairman John Podesta (a lobbyist and former Obama chief of staff). Podesta's in a documentary DeLonge produced about UFOs and the two of them emailed about UFOs as well. Hillary's campaign doesn't want to talk about UFOs but blames the Podesta-Blink-182 leak on the Russians.

Is Obama Turning Earth Over To Aliens?

I can't wait to see which Republican troll-- I'd bet on fake preacher Bryan Fischer or one of two Texas congressmen, Louie Gohmert or domestic terrorist Steve Stockman-- is the first to accuse Obama of being in thrall to aliens from Mars. The proof: His unjustified anger at Ed Snowden may be due to the exposure of Area 51, where the U.S. works jointly with aliens on various projects. Before there was a Tea Party, the activists who dominate it were busy with this kind of thing:

My theory is this that

- Roswell craft crashed

- Roswell debris and dead and alive aliens sent to miltary, possibly Wright Pattersom Airforce base

- President Eisenhower informed of situation, and creates MJ12 to overight the Alien issue

- MJ12 are responsible for setting up Area51 to hold all the Alien recovered material in one location, mostly buried inside installations under ground out of view

- For reasons uncertain President stops being sent MJ12 reports on whats happening at Area51

- Sends a Government representative to find out whats going on, who finds that significant technological developments are underway to back engineer ET tech

- Person who reports back to President says live Aliens being held in facility for interogration

- President can no longer contact 8 of the Mj12 members, they have disbanded and gone missing

- President with Nixon in attendance orders the information is secret not to be released to public

My interpretaton of sequence of events above is that

• The interogation of the Alien was staged for the government.

• The Aliens took over area51 not long after built.

• The Aliens had to scare off, or kill them MJ12 members who wouldnt cooperate

• The Aliens cut the reporting off back to government

• The Aliens realised that the War president would invade Area51 with an army and take the base back, so decided to let government entourage of Eisenhower's in to see whats going on

• The govenment officals returned to Eisenhower saying that significant secret develops are going on at Area51 to copy Alien Tech

• Eisenhower looks concerned worrying about the implications on the public if news of Aliens becomes known, and also growing power of the what he sees as the Military industrial complex

The government has never acknowledged the existence of Area 51 before, although there have been thousands of stories written about it and dozens of TV shows. Who doesn't know it's about 100 miles north of Las Vegas in the Mojave Desert? Thursday, CIA documents were released, unredacted, that finally admit it even exists.

The military, which runs the base, always denied that Area 51 was called by its famous moniker, preferring a designation connected to the Groom Lake salt flat, a landing strip for the U-2 and other stealth aircraft.

“Your honor, there is no name,” an Air Force attorney told a federal judge in 1995. “There is no name for the operating location near Groom Lake.”

The hearing was part of an environmental poisoning case brought by Area 51 workers who said that they had been sickened by exposure to toxic chemicals-- including anti-radar coatings and other classified materials-- burned in open pits on the base.

For years, those workers commuted from Vegas to Area 51, also known as “the Ranch.” Some of them died after developing strange rashes and respiratory problems.

The men could tell no one what they did; they had signed national-security oaths barring any disclosures about the black-budget facility, where the stealth bomber also was tested. But some became plaintiffs in a case against the government brought by George Washington University law professor Jonathan Turley.

That case brought me to Area 51 in 1997. I had hoped to see the base from afar. From certain vantage points, I’d heard that it might appear, suitably, like a mirage.

But I didn’t make it past the perimeter, where a sign warned that trespassers fell under the jurisdiction of military law. Too dangerous: “Use of Deadly Force Authorized,” the sign said, citing the Internal Security Act of 1950.

In 1955, President Dwight D. Eisenhower “approved the addition of this strip of wasteland, known by its map designation as Area 51, to the Nevada Test Site,” according to the declassified CIA history. The area was near the Atomic Energy Commission’s vast, desolate proving grounds.

The CIA internally published its official history of the U-2 program in 1992. It was released in heavily redacted form thereafter, and National Security Archive fellow Jeffrey Richelson reviewed a copy in 2002. He filed a new Freedom of Information Act request in 2005 and the documents arrived about a month ago, this time with fewer redactions. Therein, the first-ever reference to Area 51.

Why was the veil finally lifted?

“It is something we do not know the answer to,” Richelson said Friday. “One of the things I want to find out is the genesis of this decision: Why did they not redact it?”

...The secrecy surrounding Area 51 amplified conspiracy theories claiming it was infested with extraterrestrials-- a notion popularized in movies such as Independence Day and, more recently, Super 8. The UFO angle emerged because, for decades, people reported seeing strange lights in the surrounding desert-- presumably secret aircraft taking off and landing in Area 51.

Now that Area 51 officially exists, does that ruin its mythical utility for Hollywood creature features?

The clandestine base always was a reliable haven for horrifying Monsters from Beyond.

Veteran sci-fi author Harlan Ellison-- who worked on the original Star Trek and Babylon 5, among other shows-- says filmmakers will always find new tropes.

“The human race has a psychopathic need to create gods and mysteries,” he said. “Demystifying Area 51 is like saying, ‘Gee there might not be a Bigfoot.’ . . . By now, only the most lame-brained think we are regularly visited by aliens and that they are at Area 51.”

The next big Area 51 movie is awaiting release. It is ingeniously called Area 51. The plot, per the Internet Movie Database, is simple:

“Terror strikes when reporters visit a secret base that houses extraterrestrials.”

I’m sure it’s long since been cast, but it would be an honor to play a scribe who has been there and is eager to face the slimy maw of a squidlike alien.

So what is Obama up to with the aliens now? More health care forced on willfully obese Confederates?