Is Cantor Technically A Lobbyist Yet?

Since first being elected to Congress in 2000, Eric Cantor has raised $32,386,930 and spent $30,889,639 on his reelection bids-- and on building power for himself inside the GOP caucus. He spent $5,794,611 in the current cycle, significantly more than the $392,316 his primary opponent no one had ever heard of spent. Eric Cantor, on the night he lost his primary election to Dave Brat addressed his supporters at what everyone assumed would be a victory party: "I believe in this country," he declared. "I believe there's opportunity around the next former… for all of us." He basically wanted nothing more to do with his constituents in the Richmond suburbs. As far as he was concerned the Republicans of Henrico, Hanover, Chesterfield, Spotsylvania and Culpeper counties could take their job and shove it. He announced he would be resigning on August 18 and they would have no Representative in Congress at all. Take that, ingrates!

Today was Cantor's first day at work as vice chairman and managing director of international banksters, Moelis & Co. Because of legal technicalities, he won't be called a "lobbyist" per se for a couple of years, just the guy who gives "strategic advice." He once worked as a real estate developer in his father's company but I have a feeling that private sector experience isn't why Moelis is paying him over $3 million this year-- a $400,000 base salary, $1.4 million as a guaranteed bonus and this year, a special incentive of $1.6 million. How cool is that? Wall Street owes Cantor-- despite the Financial sector having paid him $8,940,890 since he was first elected, more than to any other Member of the House other than John Boehner ($10,463,339). The closest any Democrat has come to getting that kind of love from Wall Street was Charlie Rangel ($5,501,943) and he was kicked out of his committee chair for the kind of unethical behavior that made Cantor a Republican hero. But, more than anyone else in Congress, Cantor carried Wall Street's water. There was never a single instance in which the interests of consumers, average investors or the general public ever came before the interests of the managerial class of the Wall Street banks. Welcome home, Eric!

This is as good as what the banksters did for Rahm Emanuel when he took a few months off from government work to make himself into a multimillionaire. And, look-- Cantor's contract specifically permits him to leave Moelis after just 24 months without any monetary penalties if he leaves to "take a full-time elected or appointed position in federal government, state government, or a national party." Sweet!

Two of the sleaziest and most self-serving wheeler-dealers to have darkened the halls of Congress in modern times were ultra-conservative New Dem John Breaux (LA) and racist/neo-fascist Republican Trent Lott (MS). Theoretically, the Senate became a better place when the two of them retired. But not really. Both put their connections and friendships up on the market to the highest bidder and the two scumbags are among Washington's shadiest lobbyists, working for Washington's most corrupt firm, Patton Boggs. A Russian bank, widely viewed as a criminal operation for Putin and his inner circle, Gazprombank, just hired the two of them to help them circumvent sanctions over the invasion of Ukraine.

Last cycle Paton Boggs and its lobbyists handed out just over $2,000,000 in vaguely legalistic bribes to Members of Congress, including $155,220 to Steve Israel's DCCC and $115,800 to Debbie Wasserman Schultz's DNC, $74,156 to the RNC, $42,500 to the NRCC and $36,750 to the NRSC. They're big players. And so far this cycle, they've put another $733,496 into legalistic bribes to Members of Congress. Over 10K pops have already gone out to slimy conservatives like Mark Warner (D-$18,000), Susan Collins (R-$12,750), Mark Pryor (D-$11,500) and Paul Ryan (R-$10,750).

Lott resigned from the Senate after he was taped making the kinds of vile racist comments Republicans aren't supposed to say publicly. He resigned early so he could get finished with the 1 year grace period before senators were then allowed to officially be able to become lobbyists. It was due to kick up to 2 years in 2008. So he tendered his resignation on December 18, 2007 and 3 weeks later, on January 7, 2006, he and Breaux, who had retired from the Senate in 2005 and was working as an influence peddler for Patton Boggs already, opened the the Breaux-Lott Leadership Group one block from the white House. 2 years later their firm was bought out by Patton Boggs. By the way, there are over 300 former Members of Congress currently serving as influence peddlers in DC lobbying firms. There ought to be a law… No, I mean a real one.

There IS a dime's worth of difference between Dems and Rs. It's just that that's an AVERAGE. Sometimes it's a quarter, others barely a penny

Sweeties Cokie and Stevie--it's all in the family.

"For professional legislators like Lott, the toxic partisanship poisoning the capital today makes their job very difficult and dispiriting. Ideologues in both parties savage anyone who even hints at working with the rival camp. As Republican Sen. John Thune, Lott’s deputy, explained: 'He’s just sort of reached the end of the line in terms of what he can do here.'"
--America's Sweethearts, Cokie and Stevie Roberts, in their syndicated column today, "Lott's career shaped by willingness to compromise"

Poor Cokie Roberts is really taking it on the chin for this quote, which as far as I can tell appears only in this column written jointly with her sweetie Steve--or, as they're known professionally, "Cokie Roberts and Steven V. Roberts."

Now if that's all America's Sweeties had to say about our Trent, they would be fair game for the ridicule that's been heaped on them, er, her. In fact, it's a highly professional, thoughtful, and balanced column, which says much worse things about the Trentman than most of the ridiculers probably knew, but also gives him his due. And one thing you did hear from Senate insiders when he gave way as Senate majority leader to America's Lifesaver, Doctorbill Frist, is that Trent, unlike Doctorbill, actually believed in getting things done, meaning that he understood the art of political compromise.

Contrary to what the ridiculers would have you believe, the Sweeties' column is actually quite solid; I encourage you to read it. True, it might have been nice if they'd qualified the huzzahs to our Trent's pragmatism with some recognition that his range of compromise narrowed considerably once the cabal of Cheney, Rove, and Bush was installed in the White House. But then, you can't have everything.

The Sweeties do note:

Lott is leaving for many reasons. At age 66, he knows that he has only a few years left to make money in the private sector. His sudden decision to quit, with four years left on his term, seems partly motivated by new ethics rules that make it harder for ex-lawmakers to lobby their former colleagues.

As a matter of fact, already last Wednesday Paul Kane posted this report on his washingtonpost.com blog, "Capitol Briefing":

Lott Courted By Senator-turned-lobbyist

Sen. Trent Lott (R-Miss.) is a wanted man out on K Street, as he has many lobbying shops seeking to transform Lott into the first modern-era senator to quit midterm to shill for corporate clients.

And the man with the inside track to land Lott appears to be his old friend, former Sen. John Breaux (D-La.) [left]. Breaux told Capitol Briefing in an interview today that he is planning a full-court press to bring Lott into his new lobbying shop once Lott retires next month. At that point Lott is officially allowed, under Senate ethics rules, to enter into serious contract talks with lobbying firms.

"I told him I wanted to be one of the first people to talk to him once he officially retires," Breaux said Wednesday afternoon in a telephone interview while he drove around his hometown of New Orleans. "I'd love to have him as part of my small group." . . .


Breaux announced today that he is leaving Patton Boggs, the lobbying firm where his old Cajun friend Tommy Boggs is in charge. Breaux and his son, John Breaux Jr., are forming their own lobby shop. He said he wanted to start such a firm with his son when he retired three years ago, but wasn't sure he knew enough about the private sector.

With his three-year contract at Patton Boggs expiring next month, Breaux is jumping ship and hopes his old friend Lott will join him. Back in 2004, as he prepared for retirement and after Lott had been ousted from GOP leadership, Breaux jokingly (and seriously) tried to coax Lott into starting a firm together then.

"I kept telling him he ought to retire," Breaux said.

Of course Senator Breaux was never what you would call DWT's kind of Democrat. Kane lays out some of the political and personal ties between him and our Trent:

The two started out as aides to House Democrats in the 1960s, and then got elected to the House in their own right in the 1970s. Once they joined the Senate in the 1980s, Lott and Breaux served on the Finance and Commerce committees together. In addition to their mutual southern charm, they both created legislative personas as go-to senators when it was time to cut a deal - which earned them some distrust on the left and right flanks of their caucuses.

But beyond the political ties, they share personal bonds no other lobbying firm or corporate association can match. Breaux and Lott raised their families across the street from each other in Annandale, Va. Lott's wife, Tricia, is the godmother to Breaux's youngest daughter. Their sons served as grooms in each other's weddings.

In fact, Breaux's vision has a family glow: himself and his old pal Trent lobbying together alongside their sons. (Young Chester Trent is currently a-lobbyin' his soul away in Kentucky.) You know, all in the family.

Speaking of sons, the aforementioned Tommy Boggs--of the aforementioned Patton Boggs lobbying firm--is more properly known as Thomas Hale Boggs Jr. (right), the son of onetime Democratic House Majority Leader Hale Boggs and former Rep. Lindy Boggs, who represented their Louisiana district for 18 years after her husband was presumed killed in an airplane crash.

Which makes Tommy the brother of none other than Sweetie Cokie, er, Cokie Boggs Roberts. Like we said, it's all in the family.

#

MEMBERS OF CONGRESS RETIRING TO CASH IN AT THE BIG K STREET LOBBYING FIRMS

Trent Lott threw his just-won senate seat in the trash as soon as he realized he'd have to wait two full years to go cash in on K Street as a lobbyist if he resigned after the end of December. Nearly two dozen Republicans are retiring from the House and Senate this year, many of them to gobble up lucrative jobs lobbying their old colleagues on behalf of rich, powerful corporations, each of which is looking for something from the American people that they don't deserve to have and wouldn't get without some special... juice. The revolving door policy between elected officials and corporations is a shameful blight on democracy. This year, amazingly, not a single Democrat is leaving either house of Congress to grab for the golden ring; it's just Republicans led by Lott and Denny Hastert, the longest serving Republican House Speaker ever.

Hastert's local paper, the Dekalb Daily Chronicle printed a letter from one of his constituents:

Dear Congressman Hastert:

Best wishes in your retirement from Congress. The press reports that you explained the timing of your departure in terms of allowing the governor time to set up a special primary election to choose your successor on Feb. 5. Please forgive me for asking whether this timing also had to do with a desire to avoid the new ethics restrictions which go into effect upon the adjournment of this session of Congress. A provision in this legislation would, I understand, double from one year to two the required waiting period between your leaving Congress and accepting a job lobbying your former colleagues. If indeed your retirement was not timed to avoid this ethics requirement, would you please pledge to abide by the new “revolving door” rules? Such action on your part would help restore the faith of voters in their representatives in Congress.

CELE MEYER

DeKalb

This would be an excellent idea for Hastert, Lott, Ferguson, Pickering, and the whole pack of them. You think there's any chance? Yeah, me neither.

Yesterday Chris Cillizza looked at the plethora of Republican retirements from another perspective: the likelihood that the minority party will be a far smaller minority come January, 2009. Cillizza's very Inside the Beltway POV on which seats are likeliest to change hands next November includes 9 Republican-held seats and only one Democrat (and not even a real Democrat at that).

The putative Democrat on the list, at #10, is Republican-voting Chris Carney, who was elected last year campaigning against his opponent's rubber stamp posture towards Bush's most egregious policies. Upon winning the seat Craney immediately adopted an effectively identical rubber stamp posture towards Bush's most egregious policies. It's unlikely Republicans will vote for him instead of a bona fide Republican and he certainly hasn't given Democrats or independents any reason to vote for him. He's likely to lose the seat he gained through totally false advertising.

The other 9, like I said, are all Republican-held. Only one, CA-04, may have an incumbent running and Cillizza thinks that is the most likely seat to change hands anywhere in the country. I think it's far more likely that John Doolittle will be indicted than be on the ticket. And even if he somehow escapes the law, he could very well be defeated in a GOP primary. The other 8 setas are all Republican-held seats where the incumbents are retiring. One, scandal-plagued Heather Wilson, is making a futile run for the Senate seat in New Mexico. The others either all just fed up with their own extremist party or want to get a high paying job while they still can. Cillizza's list (with the current Bush rubber stamp):
CA-04 (John Doolittle)
OH-16 (Ralph Regula)
NJ-03 (Jim Saxton)
NM-01 (Heather Wilson)
NJ-07 (Mike Ferguson)
MN-03 (Jim Ramstad)
OH-15 (Deborah Pryce)
IL-11 (Jerry Weller)
AZ-01 (Rick Renzi)
PA-10 (Chris Carney)

His predictions for the next batch of Republican retirees: Mike Castle (DE), Bill Young (FL), Jim Walsh (NY) and Tom Davis (VA). Not a word about the two Alaska crooks. I think the idea floated in the Dekalb Daily Chronicle is one we should ask all retiring members of Congress to adhere to.

And then there was one: Who's gonna harmonize now with Sen. Larry "Wide Stance" Craig?

Our Larry (2nd from left), "the last Singing Senator left standing, or
sitting, or whatever"--with former warblers (l-r) Trent, John, and Jim

To grasp the true significance of breaking news, some people look to those "news analysis" sidebars in the NYT or Washington Post, or scour the op-ed pages, or wait for the Sunday-morning D.C. TV gabfests. Whereas we try to remember to get "In the Loop" with the Post's Al Kamen, who once again rises to the occasion today, getting to the bedrock importance of Trent Lott's impending departure from the Senate:

Without Lott, the Singing Senators Are of One Voice

Sen. Trent Lott's resignation announcement Monday stunned the political cognoscenti, but the rationale seems pretty obvious. Lott (R-Miss.), 66, needed to cash in before he got much older. Being GOP whip isn't much of a job when you're in the minority and prospects are not good for a change in that status anytime soon.

The true significance of Lott's departure is that it leaves Sen. Larry Craig (R-Idaho) as the last Singing Senator left standing, or sitting, or whatever.

The barbershop quartet, formed in 1995, stopped performing when baritone John Ashcroft lost his seat to a dead Democrat in 2000. Shortly thereafter, then-Sen. Jim Jeffords of Vermont bolted the party. And now bass Lott is soon to be out.

This leaves tenor and lead singer Craig -- who for now says he's quitting next year -- going solo, unless he wants to recruit some replacements.

It's the biggest musical breakup since the legendary Ben E. King left the Drifters.

GOOD RIDDANCE TO TRENT LOTT (R-KKK)

Last night there was a great deal of speculation about why Trent Lott was resigning a senate career that could go on until 2012-- or forever. He is set to announce he's leaving this afternoon, but is unlikely to give the real reason. The consensus is that he needs to resign before the end of the year in order to avoid the new lobbying restrictions he fought which require senators to wait 2 years before they can start gorging themselves on K Street.

No reason for Lott's resignation was given, but according to a congressional official, there is nothing amiss with Lott's health. The senator has "other opportunities" he plans to pursue, the official said, without elaborating. Lott was re-elected to a fourth Senate term in 2006... Lott becomes the sixth Senate Republican this year to announce retirement.

Others claim that Larry Flynt is on to Lott and that he's resigning now rather than face Larry Craig-like humiliation. I have it from a reliable DC source that "Lott would cruise the area gay bars whilst wearing a different toupée from his usual one. He apparently thought that was enough of a disguise."

One thing is certain, though. Lott is one of the most reactionary members of the Senate. His ranking at Progressive Punch is near the bottom of the barrel, one of the 10 most right-wing members of the senate. Although he represents the poorest state in the Union, he consistently votes against the interests of his constituents across a broad array of issues, especially on matters concerning workers' rights to unionize, health care, housing, family planning, education, checking corporate power. And he has been a rabid supporter of the Bush-Cheney agenda in the Middle East. It will be wonderful to see him go, although, sadly, it would be foolhearty to expect even the slightest improvement from the most backward state in America. The two most touted leading contenders to replace him, Chip Pickering and Roger Wicker, are both far right extremists, each a narrow-minded bigot, happily serving the interests of the wealthy and doing everything in his power to stomp on the aspirations of working Americans and the middle class. Go Miss!


UPDATE: HOW WILL THE NEXT REACTIONARY FROM MISSISSIPPI BE SELECTED?

Mississippi's corporatist reactionary governor, Haley Barbour (R) will select someone within 10 days of Lott's departure. Then in November, 2008, there will be an election to fill the remaining 4 years of Lott's term. Pickering has made it clear that he either gets the senate job or he leaves politics; he had already announced his retirement from the House after Thad Cochran said he would be running for the Senate again. Statewide politics in Mississippi is just a Republican thing. The state is so racist and backward that no one adhering to even the most basic Democratic values can possibly win any statewide offices there. Last year the Democrat who ran against Lott, in a hugely Democratic year in the non-Confederate part of America, got only 35% of the vote. In the 2 previous senate elections, the Democrats who went up against Lott wound up with 31 and 32% and the last time Cochran ran, the Democrats didn't even bother putting up a candidate against him. (The time before that the Democrat got 27% of the vote.) Kerry took 40% of the vote against Bush.

Oh, and Lott, a bold-faced liar to the end, isn't acknowledging what is common knowledge on Capitol Hill-- that he wants to cash in as a lobbyist-- but says he may become a school teacher.


UPDATE: HUSTLER MAGAZINE WON'T COMMENT BUT THE STORIES ABOUT TRENT LOTT ARE LEAKING OUT ALREADY

A post about a male escort who was having sex with homophobic extremist Trent Lott was removed. It now says: Error 404 – File Not Found. But before it said that, it said this:

Once upon a time, there was a twentysomething boy-next-door type with reddish blond hair and a brilliantly white smile. Not one to shy away from attention, he wrote a blog called "Fifteen Minutes," and also became a freelance writer for various publications, including The Stranger in Seattle. He'd often focus on his non-traditional lifestyle as a gay male escort — a topic that often fascinated his readers, which, in turn, helped him to garner a substantial amount of powerful
business acquaintances through the years.

Based in San Antonio, he would travel all over the world to meet his clients, which included high profile celebrities, businessmen and even politicians in the United States Congress.

Sometimes within his writings he'd give advice on how other males could become successful escorts. Other times he'd post videos of himself flexing on YouTube. Once, he even scolded gay escort Mike
Jones for outing Rev. Ted Haggard as one of his gay escort business participants.

"You were paid for sex, Mike," he wrote in 2006. "The most important rule you can follow when taking people's money in exchange for sex is that—no matter what—their lives stay their own and whatever passes between the two of you remains private. Period."

Many of his clients greatly appreciate his professionalism. In fact, according to one 66-year-old patron who reviewed him on a gay escort site, he is "a very reliable escort who keeps you informed."

The boy happens to be real, and his "stage name" is Benjamin Nicholas. One of the politicos Big Head DC has learned he's alleged to have been involved with is the married Sen. Trent Lott, 66, who unexpectedly announced his retirement on Monday. Lott is well-known to have been against a plethora of gay rights issues throughout his terms in Congress. He was also good friends with Sen. Larry Craig throughout his time in Congress.

Nicholas told Big Head DC today via e-mail that he didn't want to go on the record to talk about his dealings with Lott, because, said Nicholas, "Trent is going through his fair share of scrutiny right now
and I don't want to add to it." However, e-mail and other records confirm that the two have met on at least two occasions.

"All I can say at this point is no comment," Nicholas told us. "It's the professional thing for me to do."

In a subsequent e-mail message, Nicholas confirmed that another publication is working on a story about a "possible relationship" between Lott and himself, but Nicholas also "politely declined" an
interview for that story.

"As I said before, Lott has quite a bit on his plate right now and I don't really want to add fuel to the embers," Nicholas told Big Head DC.

UPDATE: SO WERE LOTT AND THE MALE ESCORT HAVING AN AFFAIR OR NOT?

The Big Head DC site is back in action and the original post is back online. But it's now preceded by a denial Benjamin Nicholas-- a denial that seems to indicate that he may have been involved sexually with Trent Lott in the past! Here's the statement: "Here’s my public comment, on-the-record: Sen. Lott and I have no current affiliation with one another. I’m sure he would appreciate no further scrutiny.” Does that clear matters up?

Meanwhile, Hustler Magazine publisher Larry Flynt won't say whether he's got the goods on Lott or not. "Huster Magazine has received numerous inquiries regarding the involvement of Larry Flynt and Hustler in the resignation of Trent Lott. Senator Lott has been the target of an ongoing Hustler investigation for some time now, due to confidential information that we have received."

DOES TRENT LOTT JUST WANT A LONG VACATION-- OR IS HE PRIVY TO SOME MALEVOLENT PLANS THE BUSH REGIME HAS COOKED UP?

Did you know that Hitler had the Germans so cowed that many of them actually believed they were being attacked by the evil, aggressive Poles? I'm not kidding. When German panzer divisions went pouring into Poland, many Germans thought they were defending the homeland against unspecified threats from... Poles on horseback. Today there are Republicans screaming about anniversary bombings by jihadists.

In fact they've even manufactured a time-- between now and September 12-- and a place: DC.

Without mentioning a specific threat to the Capitol, Senate Minority Whip Trent Lott (R-Miss.) ominously advised Thursday that Congress needed to pass changes to terrorist surveillance laws before leaving for the August recess and warned that otherwise “the disaster could be on our doorstep.”

When asked if people should leave Washington, D.C., during the month of August, Lott responded, “I think it would be good to leave town in August, and it would probably be good to stay out until September the 12th.”

Could Lott be correct? Yeah-- and if 100 monkeys on 100 typewriters work long enough they will write the 3 Shakespeares Bush claims to have read one summer between brush clearing forays. Americans, angered by the Iraqi Parliament taking a holiday in Cambodia while the war is raging, may start noticing their own legislators are also away for quite a long time-- not that they get much done while they're in town anyway, not with the purposeful policy of obstructionism Rove, Lott and Miss McConell have devised. Or maybe Lott knows about something more nefarious that the Bush Regime has up it's sleeves. Is that possible? At least as much as Bush reading the 3 Shakespeares.


WHAT WOULD PRESIDENT TANCREDO DO?

If you think wingnut Colorado Congressman Tom Tancredo is a one-issue candidate who is only about rounding up undocumented workers-- all 14 million of the ones Bush has let into the country-- and sending them "back," you're only partially correct. He's also for bombing Muslim holy sites. But him together with the bride of Frankenstein Bay Buchanan and you've got the craziest hate machine this side of Bill O'Reilly. And according to Bay, he wants to use the bombings as a deterrent. And you thought Cheney was insane! Apparently Tancredo was in a field in Iowa scaring the kooks and nuts-- come on... normal people don't go see Tom Tancredo-- when out he came with this:

“If it is up to me, we are going to explain that an attack on this homeland of that nature would be followed by an attack on the holy sites in Mecca and Medina. That is the only thing I can think of that might deter somebody from doing what they would otherwise do. If I am wrong, fine, tell me, and I would be happy to do something else. But you had better find a deterrent, or you will find an attack.”

Wow! What a brilliant and strong contender he is! Makes Giuliani look almost sane. "Tom Casey, a deputy spokesman for the State Department, told CNN’s Elise Labott that the congressman’s comments were 'reprehensible' and 'absolutely crazy.' Tancredo was widely criticized in 2005 for making a similar suggestion. Bay said it "shows that we mean business."

MORE ON GEORGIA... THIS TIME IT'S THE DWT PROFILE IN COWARDICE AWARD TO-- WHO ELSE?-- SAXBY CHAMBERPOT

Johnny Isakson helps his pal Chamberpot unloading toilet paper

Senator Chamberpot (R-GA) thought he was a big shot. He swaggered into the Georgia state Republican party convention last month and told them he was standing firmly behind Georgia Bush and his plan for immigration. The Republican activists and bigwigs booed and hissed him and scared him out of his wits. Chamberpot-- like Lindsey Graham (R-SC) who was also booed at his state's GOP convention the same week, and for the same reason-- will have to face these voters next year. In fact he has an anti-immigration quasi-Democrat, Dale Cardwell, running against him. But unlike Graham, who has been targeted for political annihilation by the extreme right of the GOP, Chamberpot (and fellow Georgia crackpot, Johnny Isakson) has told Bush he's on his own. Chamberpot and Isakson have thrown in their lot with the Know Nothing and bigoted extremist end of the Senate GOP caucus, Jeff Sessions (R-AL) and Jim DeMint (R-SC).

A close friend of Chamberpot's says he still has barely controllable loose bowels and severe headaches after facing the booing, hissing Republican conventioneers. Yesterday he and Isakson have told the anti-immigration leaders that they will vote against cloture-- the process that Reid and Bush want to use to move the debate forward. Chamberpot is trying to put lipstick on this pig but the trail of diarrhea spells out one word: "coward." Miss McConnell and Trent Lott, who are trying to round up the votes for Bush-- 22 are needed-- say they think they can do it, but DeMint, leader of the anti-immigration wing of the GOP, is laughing.

It's hard to imagine a movement on the extreme bigoted that Lott isn't part of. But, rather than a coward he's playing another of his signature public roles, that of an out and out lying sack of goat shit. And, of course a racist, a xenophobe and... just plumb out of his mind. You'll recall, of course, how loudly and aggressively Lott (R-MS) pushed for funding a hugely expensive wall to keep the undocumented workers his party tries luring to America in order to hold down labor costs, in a state of anxiety and fear. Today he belched these two little ditties out. First: "If the answer is, 'Build a fence,' I've got two goats on my place in Mississippi. There ain't no fence big enough, high enough, or strong enough you can keep those goats in that fence. Now people are at least as smart as goats, maybe not as agile."

And he soon followed that with: "One of the ways I keep those goats in the fence is I electrified it. Once they got popped a couple times, they quit trying to jump it. ...I'm not proposing an electrified goat fence, I'm just trying ... there's an analogy there." Yes, and there's a murderous fascist too.

Oh man, is it Seersucker Thursday already? And all my seersucker's at the dry cleaner! (I get all my fashion tips from Trent Lott and Thad Cochran)

"It's crinkly, cool and comfortable," says Hattiesburg haberdasher John White.

You're chugging along, trying to keep the wolf at bay, and suddenly you realize that this Thursday is Seersucker Thursday! One of the fashion-savvy days on the Senate calendar. Man alive, where does the time go? My goodness, do you realize that this is the last shopping day before the big day?

Yup, seersucker's in the air. The biggest event on the fashion calendar since Spats Saturday. Boys and girls across the country dressing like mini-versions of their fashion gurus, Trent Lott [the fashion god pictured here], Thad Cochran, and apparently Dianne Feinstein (see below).

So mothball those heavy wool suits and the thermal underwear, and break out your seersucker.

Hattiesburg (Mississippi) American

Seersucker: A classic Southern look for summer

By Rachel Leifer Norman

Seersucker - like any timeless classic, it never goes out of style. And with summer's official kick-off this week, it's time for the Pine Belt to settle in to seersucker. [Pictured here: seersucker aficionado, Mississippi's other senator, Thad Cochran.]

"To me, it looks like the South," said John White, owner of John White Ltd. men's and women's fashion boutique on South 40th Avenue. "It makes you think immediately about a Southern guy in his suit going to church in the summer, or pairing the pants with some white bucks and a navy blazer and heading to an afternoon wedding."

Few fabrics are as evocative of a particular place and culture as seersucker, the light-weight woven cotton material traditionally presented in blue-and-white-stripes. It's generally more economical than wool and more low-maintenance than linen - but that it's all but synonymous with steamy Southern summers is its true attraction.

Think seersucker and the image instantly springs to mind of a prosperous businessman taking a stroll on a honeysuckle-scented evening, or a shrewd attorney working after hours in his office under a lazily rotating ceiling fan.

But seersucker isn't just for silver-headed gents anymore. In the last few years, White has begun carrying seersucker shorts, shirts and other separates in tropical colors like lime, pink and orange. Women are donning the fabric in skirts, suits and sleeveless summer button-downs.

"You can dress it up or down," White said, noting that a seersucker blazer does wonders for a pair of jeans, and that a surcingle belt in the proper shade is a perfect accompaniment.

For more formal occasions, "you can set it off just right with a white or a pink button-down shirt, even a yellow tie," he said.

Unfortunately, the fabric's mix-and-match versatility seems to have diminished the appeal of the classic look, a full seersucker suit. But the tradition is being maintained in the U.S. Senate, where lawmakers observe "Seersucker Thursday." Officials as unexpected as Sen. Dianne Feinstein, D-Calif. [right], are taking their summertime fashion cues from Mississippi's Republican Sens. Thad Cochran and Trent Lott, who according to published reports never fail to don their seersucker every week.

So be bold - set those dull khakis aside and be a part of this Southern summer fashion tradition. White said he can order seersucker in a kaleidoscope of colors and cuts and have it specially tailored within three days.

"It's crinkly, cool and comfortable," he said.

For the record, last year (according to The Hill) "some 20 senators" showed up in seersucker, the list headed by then-Majority Leader Doctorbill Frist, who went whole-hog, donning white shoes. Since then, the Tennessee fashion magnet has all but disappeared from public view. Reason enough to celebrate, I think. But there's more. Last year's Seersucker Thursday, which apparently coincided with Pretty in Pink Day on the fashion calendar of then-Sen. Rick Santorum, left this unforgettable image, which reportedly sent small children all over the country screaming into their mothers' arms, and had them suffering nightmares for months to follow:

Can you believe that a mere year ago this yutz was still taken seriously?