Holiday kickoff: A march plus quick hits -- does a country NEED a finance minister?; Geraldo's darkest day; world's worst joke

by Ken

IT'S 4TH OF JULY WEEKEND, SO WHY NOT KICK
OFF WITH SOME SUITABLY 4TH OF JULY MUSIC?

This is, I think, the best military-band march written by someone not named John Philip Sousa. In fact, it's better than all but the best of the Sousa marches. And I've got two nifty performances to share.

Alert readers will recognize that we've heard them before. It was in a May 2010 Sunday Classics post, "What stirs the blood better than a military march? This week courtesy of Mozart and Sousa." Well, we're hearing it again. (And now, with that first page of score in front of us, we can see right away that Felix Slatkin takes that first repeat while Morton Gould doesn't!)

COMING UP: Tomorrow, "Salute to the Services"; and Monday, the only possible climax to our musical 4th.

E. E. BAGLEY: National Emblem

Morton Gould and His Symphonic Band. RCA/BMG, recorded Oct. 17, 19, and 26, 1956
Concert Arts Symphonic Band, Felix Slatkin, cond. Capitol/EMI, recorded 1958

NOW, HOW ABOUT SOME HOLIDAY QUICK HITS? NOT
EXACTLY NEWS STORIES, BUT NOT EXACTLY NOT

(1) You can't slip anything past that AP

President Sarkozy and now-former Finance Minister Lagarde,
who for a brief, magical moment appeared irreplaceable

Now, with the New York sexual-assault case against forrmer IMF director Dominique Strauss-Kahn apparently near collapse, we're all wondering what exactly is the deal? There was always speculation that he was set up, maybe by people who wanted him out of the IMF (where he may have been thought not entirely on board enough with the fund's "austerity" mandate), maybe by people who didn't want him running against French President Nikolas Sarkozy in the 2012 election. If there's any chance that it was the latter, the principals may be disappointed. On yesterday's BBC World Service news, the correspondent in France was speculating that if charges against Dominique don't stick, he may be welcomed home as a martyr, with the possibility of a political future after all.

Meanwhile, there's no question that he's out of a job with the IMF, having already been replaced by French Foreign Minister Christine Lagarde. Which partially explains this teaser Wednesday morning's Washington Post's "Today's Headlines" e-newsletter:

France to name new finance minister after Lagarde chosen to head IMF
PARIS — France is expected to name a new finance minister to replace Christine Lagarde, who is leaving to take up the top job at the International Monetary Fund next week.
( Associated Press Associated Press, AP)

Disappointingly, the actual head on the story (at least by the time I clicked through; I noted that by then the story had been updated) was "French president names Francois Baroin as new finance minister to replace Christine Lagarde." Personally, I like it better the other way, which suggested that President Sarkozy was really breaking the situation down into a step-by-step process, the first step being huddling with his people to thrash out the question of whether la République really needs to have a finance minister.

(2) Geraldo's darkest day: "Humiliated and deeply embarrassed" -- all the way to the bank

Reflecting recently on "the recent press frenzy over Sarah Palin’s less-than-riveting gubernatorial e-mails," our pal Al Kamen ventured in his WaPo "In the Loop" column a week or two ago: "It was a great discredit to the trade, we’re told -- presuming we have any credit to dis."

It’s as if no one remembers the spectacular Geraldo Rivera “special” 25 years ago when he blew open Al Capone’s safe on live television, only to find a stop sign and two empty gin bottles inside. . . .

Rivera, in an interview 20 years after the event, said he was “humiliated and deeply embarrassed.” But then, he said, he found out the next morning that the show “was the highest rated syndicated special in television history.”

He’s still laughing -- all the way to the bank.

The day after that darkest day, it seems, the sun shone brightly.

(3) World's worst joke? Gotta be a contender

I've mentioned that at some point in the hazy past I must have signed up for this daily joke from Arcamax, which I usually don't even bother reading. (Mostly it's a pretext for dumping in a bunch of paid promotions that are fairly obnoxious, but not enough so to justify the possible ordeal of unsubscribing -- you never know what they're going to put you through.) I don't know why I happened to read this one the other day, but even before I got to the, er, punch line, I was thinking that I've heard a lot of jokes in my time, and a lot of real clunkers, but if I've ever heard a worse one, it's mercifully forgotten.

Naturally I felt an immediate need to share it. I've refrained till now.

Job Interview

An employment interviewer for a big company in New York was talking to an attractive young woman applying for a job. Looking over the application form, the interviewer noticed that the girl had not answered one important question concerning transportation to and from work.

"What about your bus line?" the interviewer asked her.

"I don't believe I mentioned it," came the pleased reply, "but it's a 36C."

Is that a killer joke, or what? I assume, by the way, that the "in New York" was stuck in in an attempt to lend some plausibility to the notion that a job-application form might ask for "bus line," but even if you can stretch your mind around the basic idea, wouldn't a New York application ask for subway line? Gosh, that would spoil the, er, joke, though, wouldn't it?


HAVE A SAFE AND HAPPY HOLIDAY!

#

You Can't Trust The Rich-- Dominique Strauss-Kahn Is The French Equivalent Of A Blue Dog

From 1885 to 1958 it always cost between two and three cents to mail a letter. That's right, for millions of Americans alive today, born in the '40s and '50s, the price of a postage stamp was steady at three cents. In 1958 it went to four cents... and it's been rising ever since. Today it costs 44 cents to mail a letter, not much of a burden for businesses (or for rich people who have their businesses send their mail) because it's a deductible expense. In other words, the cost of sending letters-- if you're rich-- is paid for by the taxpayers. If you're poor and want to mail a letter... well, it used to be subsidized too. But somewhere along the line after the New Deal days the wealthy started getting more and more control over government, and started making it work for themselves. Congress is filled with millionaires-- and not just the despicable House of Lords, even the People's House. The GOP shill running for Congress in NY-26 a week from today, Jane Corwin, is "worth" $150 million.

You think these people know anything about the problems the rest of us feel? They don't. For the most part, they have no empathy and little interest in the trials and tribulations of "the little people." And we keep electing them. I want to persuade myself that Democratic Party millionaires and billionaires in Congress aren't as bad as Republican millionaires and billionaires. And to some extent-- the extent that they hew to party principles-- it's sometimes true. But there's something wrong with these rich people. I know it's a weekday and I usually save these kinds of stories for the weekends, but stick with me if you have the time.

When I moved to Los Angeles from San Francisco, I moved from running my own small indie label and making-- at best-- $10,000 a year (after many years of making $5,000) to what seemed to me like a gargantuan annual salary of $90,000 a year, more than my father ever made. I felt like I was the richest guy evah! And my spirits were high. I'm workin' at Warner Brothers, running Sire (the coolest label) and feeling great and feeling rich.

My two best friends were not nearly as ebullient. One was making a million a year, and he was bitter and angry that so many others made so much more than he did. He put all his energy into stealing everything he could from the company. The other guy was already making $250,000 a year, and he was pissed off too. I was shocked when he told me, "One day we'll break free from these chains of poverty." He wasn't kidding. It was a good warning for me that these rich people were all insane and completely divorced from the reality I had lived my whole life in. I vowed to never let that happen to me.

Last Christmas I rented a riad for a month in Marrakech. It was a pretty tony neighborhood. Right next door was the king's private residence, and across the alley was the former villa of one of Marrakech's most distinguished and beloved residents, Yves Saint Laurent. Around the corner: the palatial residences of Bernard-Henri Lévy (English version here) and Dominique Strauss-Kahn, who until this weekend was favored to be the next President of France, and who was denied bail while awaiting trial for raping a maid at a Midtown New York City hotel.

Prosecutors had asked the judge, Melissa C. Jackson, supervising judge of Manhattan Criminal Court, to remand Mr. Strauss-Kahn, 62, contending that he was a flight risk. They also indicated that a similar attack may have occurred.

“Some of this information include reports that he has in fact engaged in conduct similar to the conduct alleged in this complaint on at least one other occasion,” said John McConnell, an assistant district attorney, adding that the district attorney’s office was still investigating the other occasion, which occurred outside the United States.

In opposing bail, prosecutors highlighted the serious nature of the allegations.
“The defendant restrained a hotel employee inside of his room,” Mr. McConnell said. “He sexually assaulted her and attempted to forcibly rape her,” and when that failed, Mr. McConnell said, he forced her to perform oral sex.

There's a reason Jesus said, "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." They're crazy and overwhelmed with feelings of entitlement.

Dominique Gaston André Strauss-Kahn is a member of the Socialist Party-- albeit the right wing of the Socialist Party (kind of a Blue Dog equivalent)-- but the man is a billionaire. He was born into a wealthy family in a wealthy Paris suburb, Neuilly-sur-Seine. They moved to Monaco, a place rich people would go to avoid taxes and financial regulations. Young Dominique wasn't a brilliant student; he flunked the entrance examination for the École Nationale d'Administration.

He became a lobbyist for French plutocrats before being appointed Minister for Economics, Finance and Industry, where he implemented a disastrous privatization program on behalf of his former employers. In 1999, he was accused of corruption in two financial scandals related to Elf Aquitaine and the MNEF, a student mutual health insurance scheme, and he resigned in disgrace. One of his most important achievements was getting the Thomas Act repealed so that hedge funds could "flower."

He's been involved in several sex scandals in the past and is clearly a dangerous sociopath who has been allowed to skate because of his great wealth and power. Yesterday's NY Post described him as whiny:

The IMF chief who allegedly sodomized a Manhattan hotel maid proved the height of pompous arrogance yesterday, throwing a fit over a battle on his bail -- which left him parked on a wooden bench in an East Harlem station house the whole day, sources said.

Leading French presidential contender and accused sex attacker Dominique Strauss-Kahn, 63, was finally led out of the NYPD's Special Victims Unit at around 11 p.m. in handcuffs, scowling and red-faced.

Sporting a long navy-blue coat and an open collar, he refused to acknowledge reporters as he was placed in the back of a police car and whisked off to Kings County Hospital in Brooklyn.

Sources said he was taken out of the police station house only after finally agreeing to a medical exam -- and only after cops had moved to obtain a warrant to gather potential DNA evidence.
Clues they're looking for include possible DNA from his alleged victim that might be found in scratches on his body.

He had been set for arraignment last night, but one of his lawyers, Bill Taylor, at a hastily called press conference outside Manhattan Criminal Court, said:

"Our client willingly consented to a scientific and forensic examination... at the request of the government. It's being done. In light of the hour, we've agreed to postpone the arraignment until [this morning], and we expect to be in court with him."

And, of course-- being rich and married to an heiress-- he has denied any wrongdoing. According to the Post Strauss-Kahn "was outraged that he wasn't getting the VIP treatment he's accustomed to" and pissed off the cops, who have taken to referring to him as "the French idiot." He's particularly angry that he's only allotted $1.80 per meal. His passport was confiscated.

Let me end this very simply. Don't vote for wealthy people running for office. There are too many of them already. It's one of the reasons I hate the DCCC so fervently; being rich is their #1 criterion for getting behind a candidate. It's as though they were Republicans or something!