Apocalypse now: what's really happening in Crimea

Look out! The Messiah is coming!

"When you hear that the Russians have captured the city of Crimea, you should know that the times of the Messiah have started, that his steps are being heard."

-- "a closely guarded secret handed down from the 18th Century
Vilna Gaon through generations of revered rabbis"

by Ken

So here I've been thinking about a post about national-security interests in Crimea and Ukraine generally, goaded mostly by this hideous notion that that blustering lamebrain Willard Romney "was right," about Russia or anything else. As if a character like Putin would pay shiver in his shoes at the mindless ravings of a gutless thug like him. At least as he prepared to go to war with Russia -- or would it have been Iran? -- he could count on an army of six Fighting Romneys, as he and his brood of mililtary heroes returned to uniformed fighting fettle. Oh wait!

The post I wanted to cobble together would have asked, just what are our national-security interests in Crimea? As opposed, for example, to Russia's, which involve not just national security but intimate historic and ethnic ties. And pretty much the same question would apply to Ukraine generally?

Well, I'm not going to write that post just now, so instead I'll direct you to Ian Welsh's March 20 post, "Why is Crimea Such a Great Crisis? It Shouldn't Be."

Really, I don't understand why Crimea rejoining Russia is such a big deal. While the referendum is dubious, it does seem that the majority of the population generally prefers to be part of Russia. There have been almost zero casualties, and the Russian troops were mostly welcomed by the population.

Compare this to Kosovo, where there was ethnic cleansing on both sides, a major bombing campaign by the West which killed Serbs and so on. Or Iraq, or Libya, or Syria, or Chechnya, or South Sudan. In all of those places there was a pile of violence, a lot of people died, got tortured, raped and lost their homes. All of those, by any rational measure, are greater crises than Russia taking back a region which belonged to it for hundreds of years, whose population wants to go back.

Yes, yes, Munich, blah, blah. Russia is not strong enough to start a conventional WWIII and win. They are not insane enough to start a nuclear war.

The correct response to Crimea would be to say "well, it looks like they really do want to leave, they're yours."

If you don't want Western Ukraine to go, then send in a NATO force and/or discuss formal partition of the Ukraine with the Western part immediately joining NATO. If you're not willing to do that, then shut up.

This crisis is being made a crisis because of a hysterical over-reaction. The US and the EU thought they'd won this round, and moved the Ukraine back into their column. Putin didn't accept that, and the West is freaking out over behaviour that is less egregious and killing far fewer people than wars that the US has been involved in for over a decade, and which is a cleaner break-off than Kosovo was.

As for setting a precedent, the precedent has been set already: in Kosovo, in South Sudan, in Eritrea and so on. National borders are not inviolable if the population doesn't want to stay in them, and can make their point militarily or has an ally who can make the point militarily.

More recently, Ian has recommended the Consortium News post "The Danger of False Narrative by Robert Parry" as "perhaps the best article on what actually happened in the Ukraine and Crimea." ["The story is a little different than what you've been hearing on TV or reading in the newspapers, at least if you're in most of the West. The author does leave out some bits (like the Tatars boycotting the Crimean referendum), but overall it's accurate."] And he points out that in Ukraine, where "the new PM is imposing IMF austerity measures,"

like removing subsidies on Gas (50% increase) and cutting pensions (50%) cut. He says he's on a Kamikazee mission. That's because he's not elected, so he can do thing that an elected leader could never do.

Which is to say: there is a coup, backed by a popular uprising in the capital, which puts in place an unelected government, which does things that elected governments repeatedly refused to do. The East and South of the country, which voted in the last elected government, is unhappy with this.

Ian concludes:

If I were Crimean, I would have voted yes in the election. Russia's a corrupt oilarchy run by a near-dictator, but it has a stronger economy and better standard of living than the Ukraine, and that's before the IMF gets through with it.

I don't know what Putin's going to do. If NATO membership were truly off the table, he'd be best served by doing nothing more. Let the Ukrainian's destroy their own economy through IMF austerity, and in a few years, at least the eastern half of the country will be begging to join Russia.

However, if NATO membership is on the table, and it seems to be, Putin may feel he has no choice to invade. Problem is, after the West lied to Gorbachev about not expanding NATO, could Putin believe any Western promises if they were given?

I DON'T THINK I'M GOING TO GET INTO THAT TODAY

It's not necessary, because thanks to this post by Haaretz columnist Chemi Shalev, we know what Putin has really been up to in Crimea: bringing on the Apocalypse and summoning the Messiah. Okay, maybe bringing the Messiah back isn't what he had in mind, but isn't that what's happening?

FYI: Putin=Gog, Crimea=Magog, the apocalypse is here and the Messiah is coming

Not only Christian fans of Armageddon are buzzing: According to one rabbi, the Vilna Gaon himself predicted that when the Russians take Crimea, the steps of the Messiah will be heard.

By Chemi Shalev | Mar. 29, 2014 | 5:51 PM

The Allard Pierson archeological museum in Amsterdam is in a bind. Since February 7, it has exhibited "The Crimea, Gold and secrets from the Black Sea," which it originally billed as "Spectacular archeological finds from the Ukraine." Now it doesn't know whether to return the precious gold artifacts to Russia or to Ukraine or to just stay out of it and hold on to the exhibition for the time being.

The reason this report caught my eye is that most of the "Gold and secrets" of Crimea come from the Scythians. Originally from what is today southern Iran, the Scythians were a horse riding tribe that inhabited much of today's Georgia, Armenia and the southern parts of Ukraine and Russia for close to 1300 years, from the 7th century BC to the 4th century AD. The northern coast of the Black Sea was absolutely Scythian.

And what's so special about the Scythians? Well, it turns out that Josephus Flavius, the turncoat Jewish historian who chronicled the Masada saga, had an interesting theory about the Scythians and the lands in which they lived. He concluded that their land was the Magog, as in Gog and Magog, as in the war of Gog and Magog, as in the biblical prelude to the End of Days.

Which is one of the many reasons why recent events in the Ukraine have created a buzz among legions of apocalypse-anticipating true believers. This could be the real thing, they tell themselves, the big time, the major leagues, not the end of the beginning, to quote Winston Churchill in reverse, but the beginning of the end. And it is Vladimir Putin, aka Gog, aka King of the North, who has set things in motion.

You only have to read Ezekiel chapters 38-39, the widely accepted handbook and screenplay for the upcoming decimation. According to traditional translations of verse 2 of Chapter 38, Gog is the "chief prince of Meshech and Tuval", ancient kingdoms also near the Black Sea. But the term used for "chief prince" in Hebrew is "nesi rosh" (as in נשיא ראש משך ותבל): Nesi could also mean "ruler" or "president", and some scholars believe that "rosh" is not an adjective, at all, but a noun denoting the name of yet another nation that will enter the fray. So Gog is the prince of Rosh, or the President of Rosh, or, with a little bit of help, the President of Russia.

"Therefore, mortal, prophesy, and say to Gog: Thus says the Lord God: On that day when my people Israel are living securely, you will rouse yourself and come from your place out of the remotest parts of the north, you and many peoples with you, all of them riding on horses, a great horde, a mighty army;".

And who will ride with Gog? Why Persia, of course, as specified in verse 5. And possibly Syria, though it hardly seems capable these days. And why will they all gang up on Israel? The Internet site "RemantReport explains: 1. To acquire more territory (Ezekiel 38:8). 2. To plunder Israel's wealth (38:12). (Israel's newly-discovered vast reserves of natural in the Mediterranean, of course, CS). 3. To destroy the Jews (38:11, 16). And 4. To challenge the authority of the Antichrist who will temporarily be Israel's ally due to a treaty mentioned in Daniel 9:27 "That ruler will have a firm agreement with many people for seven years."

Of course, if Gog is Putin, then we all know who the natural candidate for the Antichrist is. But let's put that aside for now. In any case, there is a nuclear confrontation ("I will start a fire in the land of Magog and along all the seacoasts where people live undisturbed, and everyone will know that I am the Lord) and then a massive seven-month cleanup and a mass burial, somewhere in Jordan, it seems.

If you're a Christian, the fun is just beginning: An army of "200 million" men will come from the East, according the Book of Revelations, and there's only one country that can raise such an army. Then, in quick succession but in a sequence that is disputed by scholars, the End Times really get going: Armageddon, Desolation, Tribulation, Rapture, Redemption, the Second Coming - the works.

Jews, by the way, make do with just the war of Gog and Magog, after which messianic days are here and "swords are beaten into ploughshares" etc. Nonetheless, Christians aren't the only ones who are getting excited about the standoff in Eastern Europe. According to a report catching fire over the weekend in the haredi press in Israel, the Gaon Rabbi Moshe Shternbuch told his disciples this week that the times of the Messiah are upon us. And who is the source for his amazing analysis? None other than one of the top Jewish sages of all time, the Vilna Gaon himself, the Gra, "the genius of Vilnius", the famously harsh critic of Hasidic Judaism.

According to said Shternbuch, he is privy to a closely guarded secret handed down from the 18th Century Vilna Gaon through generations of revered rabbis: "When you hear that the Russians have captured the city of Crimea, you should know that the times of the Messiah have started, that his steps are being heard. And when you hear that the Russians have reached the city of Constantinople (today's Istanbul), you should put on your Shabbat clothes and don't take them off, because it means that the Messiah is about to come any minute."

I don't know if Turkish Prime Minister Erdogan knows about Russian designs on Istanbul, but if I were you, I would take your Shabbat clothes to the cleaners, just in case.

Finally, from Moshiach.com: The husband tells the wife, "The Rabbi said that soon we will no longer suffer from the Cossacks, the Messiah is about to come and take us all to Israel." The wife thinks for a while and says, "Tell the Messiah to leave us alone. Let him take the Cossacks to Israel!"

So do you have your Apocalypse bag all packed and ready to go?

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Breaking news: Angry Willard lashes out at GOP voters who don't tell pollsters what God wants them to hear: "Let it be on their heads," he warns

From today's Washington Post:

Embattled Romney, Opponents Clash

By Michael D. Shear and Juliet Eilperin
Washington Post Staff Writers

MANCHESTER, N.H., Jan. 5 -- Three days before New Hampshire voters go to the polls, former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney engaged in a confrontational televised debate with his fellow Republican presidential contenders, clashing over foreign policy, immigration, character and negative campaigning.

Romney accused his chief rival in the state, Sen. John McCain (Ariz.), of supporting amnesty for illegal immigrants. "I have never supported amnesty," McCain retorted angrily, adding, "You can spend your whole fortune on these attack ads, but they still won't be true."

Clearly feeling under siege and trailing McCain in two polls released Saturday, Romney was repeatedly in the crosshairs of his rivals. After one sharp exchange with Iowa caucus winner Mike Huckabee, Romney accused his opponents of attacking his character rather than engaging in a serious debate. They, in turn, accused him of flip-flopping. "Is there a way to have this about issues and not about personal attacks?" he asked. "I hope so."

Now we can report:

Angry Willard Disses Republican Voters,
Threatens Them With the Wrath of God

Exclusive to DownWithTyranny

MANCHESTER, N.H., Jan. 6 -- An angry Willard "Mitt" Romney lashed out today at his opponents, the press, and Republican voters for failing to tell him clearly what it is they want him to say.

"Frankly, I'm shocked," the former Massachusetts governor said here today. "I think I've done everything I could to make it clear to Republican voters that I'm prepared to say any gosh-darned thing they want. So if they still refuse to get the message, I say let it be on their heads."

A high-placed Romney aide, who was granted anonymity on the ground that he or she is a really low-down weasel, indicated that the candidate was preparing to turn his displeasure into action. "With the New Hampshire primary so close," the aide said, "the governor is especially peeved at alleged Republicans supposedly reporting support for other candidates in current polls."

According to unconfirmed reports, the campaign plans to fan the candidates' five burly sons--generally known as "Willard's Boys"--out in their fleet of SUVs blanketing the state to remind New Hampshire voters of their obligation to support Governor Romney as God's chosen candidate. "Just the way God picked George W. Bush to be president," said another Romney aide who also requested anonymity, "He now wants Mitt in the White House."

The second aide added, "And God has a long memory for people who don't do what He wants."


UPDATE FROM BANGKOK AIRPORT

My plane is delayed so I found an internet center and was looking at the posts. Ken mentions Willard's assertion that God has a long memory. Let's hope he does. Willard has a big problem with God-- or at least with religionism-- and so does the entire GOP. That link is to an article in the new issue of the New Yorker and I recommend you take a look at it. -Howie

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HOW SMALL A MINORITY ARE STRAIGHTS IN THE REPUBLICAN PARTY-- AND WHY HASN'T BISHOP ROMNEY FIGURED THAT OUT YET?

Five brothers think campaigning for Mitt is more important than fighting terrorists in Iraq

Maybe Romney is losing all his support and will probably fail to come in even in the top 3 among the pygmies™, despite having spent more more than all of them, because he has no clue what right-wingers really want to hear about. His carefully researched utterances are kind of a cross between cardboard and plastic and resonate with... well, Mormons and no one else (sorry). But Bishop Romney should take off the holy underwear and go out among the real wingnuts and see what they're actually talking about. Not safe for someone of his wealth and stature? Well he can do it online then. Lots of Republican extremists go online. They don't use normal websites that regular Americans use, but they lurk around their own sites. No, I'm not suggesting the Bishop go to porn sites or neo-nazi sites-- we'll leave them for  people like David Diapers Vitter and Ron Paul-- but Flip Flop Mitt need go no further than Conservapedia, the Republican answer to the universally used and non-partisan, reality-based Wikipedia.

Before we explain why Bishop Romney needs to check out Conservapedia, we should look at a little story from 2 days ago in the Salt Lake Tribune in which he says "he's done talking about sex-sting tainted Sen. Larry Craig, his onetime Idaho campaign co-chair." Romney was up there harvesting money from fellow Mormons when a reporter asked him about Craig's refusal to resign from the Senate.

"I don't have further comments on Sen. Craig's tenure or experience," the Spokesman-Review reports Romney as saying. "That's something I've spoken about before. I don't really have anything to add to what I've said before. I can tell you that I am focused on the future."

Romney is focused on one thing: trying to get into the White House without being forced to write a big check everytime he crosses the threshhold. And he thinks Republicans are sick and tired of hearing about "Wide Stance" Larry and about David Dreier and Lindsey Graham, Miss McConnell, Bob Allen, Mark Foley and all the other Republican perverts, child molesters and toilet trawlers. But that's where he's making a GIGANTIC mistake, perhaps a fatal one, politically speaking.

Do you think I'm exaggerating when I tell you that the Republican base doesn't want to hear about anything as much as about lurid tales of homosexuality? I'm not. And when the Bishop finally figures it out, he'll be sending Josh, Craig, Seamus, Tagg, Merrill and Lynch out to campaign in their jock straps.

I got this story from BoingBoing.

Wikipedia is "The Free Encyclopedia." What's on the mind of Wikipedia its readers? Here are the top ten most viewed pages on Wikipedia:

     1.     Main Page [30,090,900]
     2.     Wiki [904,800]
     3.     Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows [413,400]
     4.     Naruto [401,400]
     5.     Guitar Hero III: Legends of Rock [396,000]
     6.     United States [330,000]
     7.     Wikipedia [329,400]
     8.     Deaths in 2007 [321,300]
     9.     Heroes (TV series) [307,500]
     10.     Transformers (film) [303,600]

Conservapedia is "The Trustworthy Encyclopedia." What's on the mind of its readers? Here are the top ten most viewed pages on Conservapedia:

     1.     Main Page? [1,906,729]
     2.     Homosexuality? [1,572,713]
     3.     Homosexuality and Hepatitis? [517,086]
     4.     Homosexuality and Promiscuity? [420,687]
     5.     Gay Bowel Syndrome? [389,052]
     6.     Homosexuality and Parasites? [388,123]
     7.     Homosexuality and Domestic Violence? [365,888]
     8.     Homosexuality and Gonorrhea? [331,553]
     9.     Homosexuality and Mental Health? [291,179]
     10.   Homosexuality and Syphilis? [265,322

So there you have it. Larry Craig, Mark Foley, Mitch McConnell, Patrick McHenry-- they really are the quintessential reprentatives of the down deep Republican Party.

The scary thing to remember, looking at the gaggle of Republican presidential candidates, is that one of these clowns could actually become president!

Here we are, on the eve of the all-important Iowa straw poll--the event that could determine the future of Tommy Thompson's presidential bid!--and I haven't had much to say about the presidential race. I still don't, but I realize the day is coming when I'm going to have to--or anyways, nobody will be able to stop me.

Meanwhile, I would argue that I've been taking the race more seriously than the Republicans, as witness this breathless dispatch by Erin Jordan in today's Des Moines Register, as we count down to the big day in Iowa:

Staff for Republican presidential candidate Tom Tancredo are looking into a hoax e-mail sent today to nearly 500 people saying buses transporting Tancredo supporters to Saturday's straw poll in Ames had been canceled.

"This is a blatant attempt to derail our efforts for the straw poll," said Alan Moore, spokesman for Rep. Tancredo, R-Colo.

The bogus e-mail sent around 10:45 a.m. today to about 490 recipients stated the Tancredo campaign had canceled 10 buses and changed the pickup times for 40 other buses.

The e-mail said the changes were made "because of efforts by some of our opponents, a number of businesses have been forced to deny our ability to use their sites for parking and coordinated campaign activities."

Frankly, it sounds like the hoax is that there are 500 Tancredo supporters in Iowa waiting for those buses.

My guess is that the whole situation could be resolved if one of the Five (In-)Famous (Non-)Fighting Romney Boys (our motto: "Hell, no, we're adults and on the whole we think we'd just as soon not go!") checked out one of the fleet of Romney RVs and transported the Tancredo voters to Ames.

And these days Tancredo has to be thought to represent the "serious" tier of the R candidates, as distinct from what we might call the "clown" contingent of this circus, represented by McCain, Giuliani, and Papa Mitt.

As I found myself writing on an online list today: Could the Rs use poor old Harold Stassen now, or what? Poking through the pack--with a very long stick--you have to figure that this could have been his year. The perennial GOP contender (nine times between 1948 and 1992) was an august statesman by comparison with these yutzes.

Come to think of it, Stassen died as recently as 2001, and he wasn't even 94 at the time. Still sounds like the class of the field to me.