Conspiracy Fantasists! Felons! FOX "News" Goons! Freaks Of All Kinds! Get Ready For The 2020 Republican Con-Vention!

-by Noah

It's almost convention time! Now that Donnie Psycho's COVID-19 indifference has spread the virus so bigly, tremendously, and powerfully, that he has been bigly, tremendously, and powerfully forced to bigly, tremendously, and, powerfully alter his 2020 Republican Death Cult Freakfest, his bigly, tremendously, and powerfully organized campaign loon staff are bigly, tremendously, and powerfully putting together a bigly, tremendously, and powerfully not so exciting con-vention that will blend virtual and in person speeches, workshops, and events. We at DWT feel bigly, tremendously, and powerfully privileged to have received an outline of some of the Republican National Committee's planned features. As usual, masks are verboten. Here's a tentative schedule that we have obtained from Barack Obama's spies and can reveal at this time:

• Day One: Opening night benedictions from an undisclosed location by famed Alabama Judge Roy Moore, Ghislaine Maxwell, and Ohio Rep. Jim Jordan. Then the Ceremony Of The Burning Cross, a ceremony in which a runner who has run with a burning cross all of the way from Selma, Alabama to the White House lawn marks the official beginning of the festivities. After that, William "Jabba The Fixer" Barr will deliver a PowerPoint lecture on how to build a Third World legal system and circumvent existing laws and the Constitution itself. Melania Trump will then take a few minutes off from fantasizing about Justin Trudeau and close the evening with a speech entitled "America, I really Don't Care, Do You?"

• Day Two, Morning Session: Oh Bondage, Up Yours! Mike Pence and Lindsey Graham will lead a live, in person demonstration on how to build a Backyard Detention Center using nothing but dog cages and plastic barrels easily purchased online. "Mother" will appear but not speak.

• Day Two, Afternoon Session: In Putin We Trust! Moscow Mitch McConnell and Devin Nunes will deliver a ZOOM lecture on the aims of Republican foreign policy. Vladimir Putin will join in as a special honored guest.

• Day Two, Night Session: TBD? Lots of secrecy around this one! All we know at press time is that the Tuesday night session will involve Don Jr. and Eric. You know they'll come up with something great! The suspense is killing us!

• Day Three, Morning Session: A Cornucopia of Conspiracies! Trump Medal Of Freedom winner Rush Limbaugh, Roger Stone, and Alex Jones will lead a hot ZOOM Webinar discussion of the latest in Republican conspiracy theories. Be there early. Session begins at 4:00am and runs 'til noon! Crushed Adderall and Meth will be available for all attendees! Topics touched on will include Alien DNA and Demon Sperm, plus old favorites about Obama's birth certificate (with Special Guest Pam Geller). Obama being secretly gay, Michelle Obama being secretly a man, Chem Trails, Cancer causing windmills, Migrant Caravans. Child Labor Camps On Mars, Pizza Palace Pedophiles, The Deep State, Justice Scalia Was Murdered, Mail-In Ballots And Other Voter Fraud, Hillary Murdered Vince Foster, What About Her Emails, Cruz's Dad Killed JFK, Fake Hurricane Death Tolls, The Bowling Green Massacre, Jersey City Muslims Cheering 9/11, Crisis Actors At School Shootings, Newtown Never Happened, Black People Killing South African Farmers For Their Land, Jade Helm, CrowdStrike, The Great COVID Hoax, Trump Tower Wiretaps and much, much more! Q Anon will join in via twitter only.

• Day Three, Afternoon Session: The Confederate Hall Of Heroes! Obama's spies tell us the afternoon session will feature a tour of the new Confederate Hall Of Heroes and a Hamberder Picnic now being eagerly assembled by Trump staff in the White House State Room, led by Ivanka Trump dressed up as Miss Find Something New. Ivanka is showing the staff how to build a tent for "social distancing" using just brooms. Plexiglas and extra fine linen sheets. After the virtual convention, the sheets will be charitably donated to her father's favorite chapters of the KKK.

• Day Three, Night Session: North Korea's Kim Jong-un will lead a special, by invitation only, demonstration on how easily he and his agents can and will hack American voting machines using a list of key voting precincts provided by Trump himself. Mike Lindell, aka the My Pillow guy, will introduce Mr. Kim.

• Day Four (FOX "News" Day!). Please note: All FOX "News" Day sessions will be held in an arena. Site to be determined. Platters of GOYA beans, GOYA appetizers, GOYA entrees, and GOYA smoothies will be served. Be sure to arrive on time. Doors close promptly and tightly at 8:15am. Masks are strictly forbidden: Morning Session: Starting at 8:30am, Laura Ingraham will begin the day by leading a 1/2 hour workshop for all Republican delegates on the proper way to do a "Heil Hitler" salute. Attendance is mandatory. All delegates, congressmen and Senators will attend and master the salute, or else. The rest of the morning (and into the afternoon) will feature a whining 8 hour "Best Of White Supremacy" harangue by Tucker "TikI Torch" Carlson. A large FOX "News" Burning Cross Candle™ will be featured and a "Black Lives Don't Mean Shit" banner has already been made and delivered personally to Carlson for use as a backdrop.

• Day Four (FOX "News" Day!), Special 4 Hour Cocktail Time Session: Sean Hannity will lead a discussion with Der Homeland Security Kaiser Wolf on the use of United States military troops and paramilitary groups against United States citizens. Hannity's homemade GOYA Bean Wine and more GOYA delights will be served! Topics will include "How To Disappear Anybody" and how to take over a state legislature. A reenactment of the armed shutdown of the Michigan legislature will follow. All assault weapons will be fully loaded to give this get together a real sense of excitement! Bring your MAGA earplugs! Bring your own assault rifles and, definitely, gas masks!

• Day Four (Fox "News" Day!), Night Session: Rudy Giuliani will deliver a 4 hour address in his underwear. Plastic sheeting and hazmat clothing will be supplied for those filming the event in a remote studio, location unknown but probably somewhere in Ukraine.

• Day Five: On day five, our psychopathic president will give his bigly, tremendously powerful self-aggrandizing and self-loving acceptance speech via Zoom from the oval office in the newly named GOYA Beans White House Corruption Centre in a language known only to him. Then, when the speech is finally over, a few select republican notables in KKK outfits will beat paper mache likenesses of Dr. Anthony Fauci with baseball bats.

Gun Fight At Cleveland's Quicken Loans Arena In July? Maybe Not

GOP refuses to allow guns into their events

I have have to admit-- since I've been writing about it for weeks-- that I've been praying for a deadlocked Republican convention. Once it appeared that Herr Trumpf had pulverized Cruz and would sweep Iowa, New Hampshire, South Carolina and Nevada, I couldn't see how the deadlock to keep Trumpf from a first ballot victory would work. No deadlock, no brokered convention (with the inevitable installation of Paul Ryan as the "compromise" candidate), no psycho-Trump fans shooting up the Quicken Loans Arena. But now that Cruz managed to win decisively in Iowa-- even if he did so by stealing Dr. Ben's voters-- we're back on track to a deadlocked, brokered convention. But maybe not the gun fight, after all.The delegate count is now Cruz 8, Herr Trumpf 7, Rubio 7, Carson 3, Jeb 1, Fiorina 1, Kasich 1, Rand Paul 1, Huckabee (who dropped out Monday night) 1-- perfect makings of a deadlocked convention.

Sure, sure, we all know the NRA-shilling GOP claims everyone is safer if people carry guns everywhere (except in Congress). But... apparently, despite Ohio's concealed carry law-- yes you can brings guns into a bar-- Republican delegates will not be allowed to bring guns into the July convention. Montana blogger Edward Burrow explained why not yesterday:

Ah, yes, Cleveland in the month of July.

Such a lovely time to be in the city that wore the moniker of "Mistake by the Lake," after the Cuyahoga River caught fire in 1969.

For many of you planning on attending the GOP Convention in that city, the biggest question is: Can I pack heat into the convention?

The answer is NO.

The Convention itself is being held at the Quicken Loans Arena just down the street from the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

Its policies clearly state that "no weapons of any kind" are permitted.

Got that, you say to yourself, "but, I have a concealed carry weapon permit issued by the State of Ohio. That means I'm golden, right?"

Nope.

A phone call to 216-420-2195 will clear up any confusion.

This is not the first time gun-toters have been denied at a GOP event.

Despite the Grand Old Party's and its Presidential candidates' concerted pandering to gun rights, gun rights activists and generally the right to carry guns (1) everywhere, (2) any time, (3) no matter what, (4) no how, they and their ilk has a nasty habit of holding meeting and conventions in venues that prohibit attendees to carry firearms.

At the GOP nominating Convention in Tampa in 2012, guns were not allowed.

At numerous other GOP-centric events and venues in recent months, ditto.

Congressman Paul Ryan has a no gun policy for town meetings regardless of location. [Bows and arrows and permitted. What about crossbows?]

In August, ThinkProgress did a bit of research and found that most of the Donald Trump-owned golf courses and hotels it staff contacted are gun-free, including for those with concealed weapon permits.

Why?

If you read the facility and event policies, even those sponsored by GOP operatives, in most cases the reason cited for the prohibition is the safety of visitors.

So, convention-goers like you will be sitting ducks, right?

Given the Montana GOP's strident support for the Second Amendment, one might ask if its conducts meetings and conventions in venues that allow weapons. After all, in the 2013 Legislature it championed guns, guns everywhere, including college campuses.

It's holding it's Winter Kick-off this weekend (February 5-6) in Bozeman at the Holiday Inn.

No weapons allowed.

Well, ah'll be.

OK, but what about the state convention?

As for its upcoming state GOP convention, it's not clear when or where (or if) it will be held. (After it shut down its office, the Party events page fell out date for activities after September 2015. The Party's phone number (406-442-6469) rings to voice mail and the mailbox is full.)

If you happen to know, thanks for sharing.

If not, stay tuned.

Montanans hell bent on attending need to know if their Second Amendment rights be infringed.

UPDATE: Safer With Guns, Right, Boys?

This could mean trouble. Now that the Trumpf fans are getting wind of the fact that the GOP establishment is trying to steal the nomination from Herr Trumpf, they are demanding their constitutional right to bear arms and shoot each other up. I'll sign their petition!

China Is Rapidly Catching Up To The U.S.-- In Corruption Among Political Elites

Yesterday, when I read the RNC had put obscure, horribly corrupt, former one-term Utah Congresswoman Enid Greene (AKA- Enid Mickelsen and Enid Waldholtz) in charge of the search for an appropriate locale for the 2016 Republican National Convention, I joked around by tweeting ole Enid should consider a place where GOP economic policies are appreciated, either China, which has benefitted from American conservatives incentivizing companies to ship jobs there, or an offshore tax haven like the Cayman Islands or Bahamas, where the easy money is sloshing around because the GOP opposes tightening tax loopholes for the super-rich. Later in the day… the tweet above alerted me to The Guardian piece by James Ball about how the U.S. isn't the only nation where self-entitled, anti-social capitalist pigs are hoarding money offshore. It's another all too familiar China corruption story. All the more reason for Enid to have the Republican National Convention there, especially if they're going to nominate some sociopath and class war avatar like Ted Cruz (which is likely).

In any case, the Chinese government has always aggressively denied reports that top political elites are crooks and that they and their families have become fabulously wealthy after dismantling Communist social mores. Ball writes that "[m]ore than a dozen family members of China's top political and military leaders are making use of offshore companies based in the British Virgin Islands" and that the brother-in-law of China's current president, Xi Jinping, as well as the son and son-in-law of former premier Wen Jiabao are among the political relations making use of offshore havens." And, of course, income inequality is catching up with American income inequality. The U.S. is the shining example… and more:

The documents also disclose the central role of major Western banks and accountancy firms, including PricewaterhouseCoopers, Credit Suisse and UBS in the offshore world, acting as middlemen in the establishing of companies.

The Hong Kong office of Credit Suisse, for example, established the BVI company Trend Gold Consultants for Wen Yunsong, the son of Wen Jiabao, during his father's premiership-- while PwC and UBS performed similar services for hundreds of other wealthy Chinese individuals.

The disclosure of China's use of secretive financial structures is the latest revelation from "Offshore Secrets," a two-year reporting effort led by the International Consortium of Investigative Journalists (ICIJ), which obtained more than 200 gigabytes of leaked financial data from two companies in the British Virgin Islands, and shared the information with the Guardian and other international news outlets.

In all, the ICIJ data reveals more than 21,000 clients from mainland China and Hong Kong have made use of offshore havens in the Caribbean, adding to mounting scrutiny of the wealth and power amassed by family members of the country's inner circle.

As neither Chinese officials nor their families are required to issue public financial disclosures, citizens in the country and abroad have been left largely in the dark about the elite's use of offshore structures which can facilitate the avoidance of tax, or moving of money overseas. Between $1trillion and $4trillion in untraced assets have left China since 2000, according to estimates.

China's rapid economic growth is leading to a degree of internal tension within the nation, as the proceeds of the country's newfound prosperity are not evenly divided: the country's 100 richest men are collectively worth over $300 billion, while an estimated 300 million people in the country still live on less than $2 a day. The Chinese government has made efforts to crack down citizens' movements aimed at promoting transparency or accountability among the country's elite.

…One Chinese political family whose financial affairs have not escaped scrutiny — at least in the west-- is that of the former premier, Wen Jiabao. In November, the New York Times reported that a consultancy firm operated by Wen's daughter, who often goes by the name Lily Chang, had been paid $1.8 million by the US financial services giant JPMorgan.

However, the ICIJ files reveal the role of the BVI's offshore secrecy in obscuring Chang's links with her consulting firm, Fullmark Consultants. The company was set up in the BVI by Chang's husband, Liu Chunhang, in 2004, and he remained as sole director and shareholder until 2006, when he took a job in China's banking regulation agency.

Nominal ownership of the firm was transferred at that time to Zhang Yuhong, a Wen family friend, who the New York Times reported had connections with the Wen family's business interests.

…Other "princelings"-- a widely-used term for the families of China's political elite-- with offshore ties include: Li Xiaolin, a senior executive in one of China's state-owned power firms and the daughter of former premier Li Peng; Wu Jianchang, the son-in-law of China's late "paramount leader" Deng Xiaoping; and Hu Yishi, a cousin of former president Hu Jintao.

China's political elite were not the only individuals taking advantage of the BVI's offshore anonymity. At least 16 of China's richest people, with a combined estimated net worth in excess of $45 billion, were found to have connections with companies based in the jurisdiction.

Among those was Huang Guangyu, the founder of China's largest electronics retailer and once the country's richest man. Huang and his wife had a network of more than 30 companies in the BVI, according to the ICIJ records. Huang subsequently fell from grace and was in 2010 sentenced to 14 years in prison for insider trading and bribery.

Despite his imprisonment, Huang's offshore network is not standing idle. In 2011, one of his BVI firms made an unsuccessful bid for the Ark Royal, the retired aircraft carrier which was once the flagship of the British navy. According to press reports, Huang planned to turn the carrier into a shopping mall, but navy officials decided instead to scrap the ship.

…The role of major Western financial institutions in establishing offshore structures has also attracted scrutiny, despite being a routine and entirely legal function for many of them.

The ICIJ records show both PricewaterhouseCoopers and UBS had extensive contacts with incorporation agents in the BVI and other territories in the region. In total, UBS helped incorporate more than 1,000 offshore institutions for clients from China, Hong Kong or Taiwan, while PwC had a role in establishing at least 400.

…The amassed wealth and alleged corruption among China's political elite has been a topic of growing interest not only in the Western media, but also-- to a limited extent-- within China itself.

Spurred on by President Xi's public statements around anti-corruption efforts, a Chinese academic and activist, Xu Zhiyong, inspired a "New Citizens' Movement" in the country-- an informal civil society group which among other goals aims to increase the financial transparency of the country's elite and curbing corruption.

The movement, however, has faced strong opposition from Chinese authorities. Numerous participants in the New Citizens Movement have been arrested at public gatherings, while its founder Xu is in prison facing charged of "gathering a crowd to disrupt public order", and faces up to five years in prison. Meanwhile, international journalists who have reported from within the country on the wealth of China's political elite have faced immigration difficulties from the government, or trouble with authorities.

Closer to home, we have the loathsome Mafia crook from Staten Island and GOP cohort from Illinois, Aaron Schock, a closet case who's entire life is just one big lie, blatantly breaking campaign finance laws with crooked Republican donors and skipping away with not even a slap on the wrist. Although Schock's hometown media has been covering his ass for years, the Peoria Pundit is keeping up with her scandals and in DC, Roll Call broke the story of Schock's involvement with one of Grimm's crooked schemes:

In an action that may be part of a strategic plan to bring pressure on someone under investigation, Federal Bureau of Investigation agents arrested a person who is a friend and donor to a Congressman who is currently under investigation for campaign finance violations.

Diana Durand, of Houston, Texas, was arrested last Friday and accused of a contribution scheme to use the names of others to funnel $10,000 to the 2010 campaign of Rep. Michael Grimm, R-N.Y. She allegedly lied to federal agents about her actions. Rep. Grimm’s 2009-2010 campaign finance records show he received $41,550 from contributors in Texas, including $22,700 from employees of Sun Coast Resources.

Grimm’s attorney stated, “We are saddened that the government took the extraordinary step of arresting a single mother on these allegations, and hope the matter will be resolved quickly. The complaint does not allege any improper conduct by Congressman Grimm, and he denies any wrongdoing.”

Durand is also accused of funneling other funds to a second candidate. Durand, an employee of Sun Coast Resources, who contributed $2,400 to Rep. Aaron Schock, R-Ill., is accused of giving $4,800 to co-worker to be a ‘straw donor’ and asking the money be passed on in contributions to Rep. Schock. Schock’s campaign finance records shows he received $13,309 from contributors in Texas, including several who also gave to Grimm.

Darren and Rebecca Frye, who appear to have been financing Schock's career, have given hundreds of thousands of dollars to notoriously corrupt Republicans besides Grimm and Schock, from John Boehner, John Thune and Paul Ryan to small fry crooks like Marlin Stutzman, Bob Dold, Robert Gibbs, Schock heart-throb Adam Kinzinger.

Neither McDonnell nor Christie… 2 other crooked Republicans, Grimm and Schock