Is Joe the Plumber's secret identity mild-mannered reporter Clark Kent? Or maybe White House "journalist"-hooker Jeff Gannon?

"I'll be honest with you. I don't think journalists should be anywhere allowed war. I mean, you guys report where our troops are at. You report what's happening day to day. You make a big deal out of it. I-I think it's asinine. You know, I liked back in World War I and World War II when you'd go to the theater and you'd see your troops on, you know, the screen and everyone would be real excited and happy for 'em. Now everyone's got an opinion and wants to downer -- and down soldiers. You know, American soldiers or Israeli soldiers. I think media should be abolished from, uh, you know, reporting. You know, war is hell. And if you're gonna sit there and say, 'Well look at this atrocity,' well you don't know the whole story behind it half the time, so I think the media should have no business in it."

-- Joe the Plumber-Reporter, "reporting" from Israel

So Joe the Plumber is now a working, er, journalist in Israel -- certified by Pajamas Media as, well, whatever the PM wingnuts can certify you as. (A colleague comments that he sounds like Grandpa Abe Simpson whining: "Back in those days, nickels had pictures of bees on them. Give me five bees for a quarter, we used to say. So where was I? Oh yeah, the important thing is that I had an onion tied to my belt, because that was the style at the time. We only had white onions because of the war....")

But seriously, has anyone seen Joe the Plumber and Clark Kent together? No, not Superman. We know our Joe is no Man of Steel.

Anyway, we know he expects us liberal hatcheteers to be picking at him like the vultures we are, so it would seem churlish not to oblige. Now, please just wake us when Joe is over.

Thanks to our VoteVets colleague Brandon Friedman for calling this to our attention. -- Ken

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Let the nitpickers pick away at Senator McCranky. Real Americans know a winner when they see one. (Just look at that Bush feller.)

During their recent Iraq visit, the Senate's national-security brain trust of (l-r) "BBQ John" McCranky, "Holy Joe" Lieberman, and Lindsey "Shop Till I Drop" Graham drank to the next 100 years of our Iraqi occupation.

"You folks excited about the presidential race? What do you think of John McCain? I like John McCain. He looks like the guy at the bakery who doesn't hear his number called. ... He looks like the guy who likes to watch the plumber work."
--David Letterman, the other night on Late Night

It's become fashionable lately to make fun of Sen. "BBQ John" McCranky, for no better reason than that he doesn't have a clue in heck what the hell he's talking about. I mean, what kind of standard is that? if we applied it literally, think how easily it could be twisted around to claim that George Wacko Bush isn't the greatest president these United States have ever had, at least since the late Warren Gonzo Harding.

Now it's Brandon Friedman, a vice chairman of VoteVets and editor of VetVoice, "the online home of Iraq and Afghanistan veterans." Just because he has actual military command experience in both Afghanistan and Iraq, not to mention having a working brain, he thinks he knows more about national security than America's favorite straight-ish talker:

This just keeps getting worse and worse for John McCain. The wheels are coming off of this whole idea that he's some sort of foreign policy expert. Instead, clips are coming out of the woodwork now--clips showing him to be a bit of a bumbler when it comes to international affairs. The common theme throughout these instances is that John McCain has no idea who we're fighting in Iraq.

In fact, we now know that he has consistently conflated Iran with al Qaeda. Here's another one from just last month:

[video clip that includes the Crankyman saying, "Al Qaeda is there. . . They're functioning. They are supported in--many times--in many ways by the Iranians"]

National Security Network has got the goods on this guy. McCain did it before the Iraq War and now he's doing it for Iran.

It's about time McCain lost his free pass as a foreign policy "expert."

And so on and so on. Blah, blah, blah.

Well, what's so all-fired important about knowing who we're fighting in Iraq? Or knowing who supports who there (wherever the heck "there" is)? Do most Americans know? Do most Americans care? Of course not. All real patriots know is that we've gotta stay the course so we can eventually win.

Americans know that McCranky is a winner. And I don't mean just the media whores who gobbled down all those ribs "BBQ John" served up for them recently at his Arizona spread, Casa McCranky. No, real Americans. The ones who cheered their president's call for us to go and bust up Eye-raq, wherever the heck that was, on account of the Eye-raqis wuz about to nuke us just like they done on 9/11.

If McCranky isn't the best person to preside over the third term of the Bush regime, why did Sen. Hillary Clinton, who has talked about running for the job herself, endorse him? (OK, she might not actually have come out and endorsed him just yet. But she definitely said that she and him were the two people best qualified to be Bush III, on account of their superior phone skills.)

So I say enough of this nitpicking.

Though I have to admit, McCranky really does look like the guy at the bakery who doesn't hear his number called, doesn't he? And yeah, he does look like the guy who likes to watch the plumber work.

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