Midnight Meme Of The Day!

 

by Noah

Another FOX "News" goon has gotten the boot, not for what they did, of course, but for being caught. It seems that Judge "Randy Andy" Napolitano likes to walk into a room pantless, jump on "daddy's" lap, and begin masturbating while demanding "Spank me while I masturbate. Spank me while I masturbate!" Is this a thing he got from Rupert Murdoch himself or one of the Murdoch sons? What must the job interview have been like!

How long before "Spank Me While I Masturbate" is set to music and becomes the FOX "News" theme song? I can see the "We Are The World" styled video now! All of the FOX "News" knuckle-draggers there on the soundstage taking turns at a chorus, singing out as best they can:

Spank me while I masturbate. I'm forever yours. Spank me while I masturbate...

It's more than obvious by now that being a sexual abuser of any sort is a job qualification at News Corp. The list of those exposed just grows and grows. Bill "Loofa Man" O'Reilly, Roger "23 & Me" Ailes, Ed "Be My Little Whore" Henry... There will be more. Accusations have already hit Tucker "Come to my hotel room" Carlson and his KKK buddy Sean Hannity who reportedly likes to whip out a wad of cash and throw it on the table. No wonder these cretins are so into Bret Kavanaugh and Donald Trump! C'mon you know when you look at Newt Gingrich and Mike Huckabee they're into something both kinky and abusive. We already know Newt's a bit off when it comes to how he treats his mates. Huckabee? He's from the Ozark hills and goes around pounding a bible. Is there a pool boy in the barn? Laura Ingraham? If there isn't an Ilsa movie reenactment there, color me surprised. Screamin' Jeanine? There's a dominatrix if there ever was one. Poor Lou Dobbs! Back to Tucker and Sean: I bet there's something that involves painting the face brown and being forced into a doggie training cage wearing only a foil blankie. The only questions I have about those two at this point is do they do it as a couple and is that before or after primetime? I mean let's be honest, it's hard to look at any of these people, especially now, and not know in your heart that they're all x-rated Satyricon material. They fiddle and diddle themselves while we burn. Not that I'm being judgemental or anything like that.

Spank me while I masturbate, I'm forever yours...