Midnight Meme Of The Day!

by Noah

Now there's a Trump request I can get behind! Challenge accepted! Please allow me that fantasy.

I'll assume Donnie Psycho's statement refers to next January 20th, IF he loses. If he wins? Both he and the country will decline at an even faster rate. I wonder, though; the way things are going, what are the odds that he'd last 'till the end of a second term? Suppose he started choking on a pretzel, like Dubya. Would you save him? I know the good little Nazis in the White House would want to but is there anyone there with arms long enough to encircle that triple wide girth and perform a Heimlich maneuver? Yeesh, what kind of a person would even want to touch him? He probably already reeks like a dead animal anyway. I can't see even shaking his tiny hand for 10 X $130,000. Let him choke, sweat, sputter, turn from orange to red and drop to the floor.

So, how to drag this curse on humanity out. Regardless of when he leaves, the more important question, from an entertainment standpoint, is how he will leave. I've thought up a list of delicious removal techniques or scenarios and added a few more that I've found across social media. I've listed them in such a way that some of them even work as nice couplets. Feel free to add to the list if you have a suggestion. As for who would actually get to do the dragging, I'm sure we could set up a national lottery at a dollar a ticket and raise a bounty of millions, probably enough to cure another type of cancer.

1. By your tiny little balls.

2. Naked thru salted glass shards and rusty razor blades, with FSN stencilled on your chest.

3. By your teeth. One at a time. We'll use the laughing gas. You get none.

4. In a sack full of venomous snakes.

5. With a well-placed grappling hook.

6. Into a waiting shark tank (This has extra appeal since he has such a fear of sharks).

7. Live on pay-per-view.

8. Into a wood chipper.

9. Into a vat of lye, lowered very, very slowly.

10. Permit all of the women he's abused to go get him.

11. Chained to Bubba Wallace's Black Lives Matter racer and dragged up Pennsylvania Avenue.

12. By your thumbs ala Mussolini.

13. Saddest of all: By Secret Service or military "escort." The latter could be led, as some have suggested, by the Vindman brothers.

Anyway however it comes to pass, I want you to know I wish him well.