Last Night's Democratic Debate: Falling On Deaf Eyes

Justin Maurer, author of autobiographical comedy, Falling On Deaf Eyes, is a CODA (Child of a Deaf Adult) and a professional American Sign Language interpreter, consultant, writer, producer, performer, and musician based in Los Angeles. In the last year he was interpreted for Bernie and Elizabeth as well as for Michelle Obama, Maxine Waters, and L.A. Mayor Eric Garcetti. He has been a member of 3 bands, the Wayward Chapel (country), Suspect Parts and Maniac (punk). He shared this unique, intense and fascinating analysis of the Democratic debate on his Facebook page last night:

Joe Biden is like that kid who plays college football and needs to maintain a C average to stay on the football team. My mom teaches American Sign Language at a big football college and she has had a reoccurring problem with football players taking her class because they assumed it would be easy. When a football player barely shows up for class, doesn't study and gets an F on a test all hell breaks loose. She has to suddenly make time to meet with a phalanx of coaches and advisers who tell her that they need the player in the game coming up and he's a good kid who has had some tragedies in his family. She asks why she needs to make special exceptions for the football player and that question almost doesn't need to be answered-- the school makes a lot of money from the football team and will do almost anything to keep their players above that C average.

Biden isn't particularly good at sports, he has just had a lot of friends and family members on the team. Most importantly, he has the faith of 44 of the school's most prominent donors. He isn't even a starter, in fact, if he started the game, the team is almost certain to lose. They keep him in there the bare minimum - 3.5 minutes one game, 7 minutes another game, and some games he'll just sit on the bench. He frequently misses practice and is even considered a liability. He's been on the verge of being suspended for saying racist things during games and for some sexist behavior in the hallways at school and at parties.

All of this is easily forgotten and easily forgiven, because he's a nice kid with a nice smile, looks great in his uniform, and he's considered part of the family. He played on a championship team, so regardless of whether he sat on the bench or not, he's considered a champion. During a couple of press interviews he even embarrassed the team, fumbling his words, incoherent, barely able to form a sentence. Even though he barely shows up, isn't really good at the sport, is considered a liability, he's considered across the board as a champion, and they need that money coming in, so anytime he gets an "F" on a test he didn't study for, for a class he barely shows up for, you better believe a whole army of advisers and coaches runs to his aid to try and convince another one of his professors "can't he just get a C? Can't you just bump him up to a C so that he can keep playing this season?"

This debate tonight seems like a forced test retake, and you better believe they pulled out all the high-paid tutors they use for the worst students on the football team. The only problem is when the only plan is to "return to normal", that's not really a plan. Nice to see how the man without a plan does against the man with some bold ideas, a vision reminiscent of FDR's New Deal. A plan urgently needed in today's climate. And no Joe Biden, my mom won't bump your F test score up to a C, you've simply got to learn sign language if you're taking a sign language class.

Very strange and untenable idea by Chip Proser