Midnight Meme Of The Day!

by Noah

At the end of last Friday's Midnight Meme about Rush Slimebaugh getting a Presidential Medal of Freedom, I speculated as to who could be next on the list of people Trump sees, in his collapsing mind, as American heroes deserving of that special recognition:

So, who's next? David Duke? A posthumous medal for segregationist democrat George Wallace? One for Strom Thurmond? Jesse Helms? Of course, there are plenty of possibilities. Hell, as Trump's mental state continues to deteriorate even further, maybe Jeffrey Dahmer will get one, and speaking of Jeffreys, how about his old pal Jeffrey Epstein? "He was so misunderstood." I bet Alan Dershowitz and Devin Nunes are on the short list, plus any number of conservative media knuckle-draggers and white supremacy leaders. How about that Nazi who ran down Heather Heyer in Charlottesville? "So man very fine people. So many bigly deserve a medal from me, your greatest president."

So yeah, there's any number of people that Republicans would stand and applaud for at the next State Of The Union Address & Game Show Extravaganza if their guy starts launching medals into the crowd. That assumes that Trump wins or "wins" another term. It's hard to beat any incumbent let alone one who would have zero qualms about doing a deal with Kim Jong-un, Vladimir Putin, Xi Jinping, the Saudi royals or all of the above to hack our voting machines and manipulate vote tallies. Some of those machines are made in China now and Moscow Mitch has already blocked any security measures because they might hurt republican chances. I can definitely see Trump moving the SOTU even further into the game show atmosphere with the launcher depicted above. Maybe Trump will have Melania give a medal to herself next time; only hers will be diamond and sapphire encrusted and come from Tiffany & Co. at taxpayer expense.

Ah, but if Trump loses, can't you see an even more demented Trump taking the whole idea on the road to stadiums and arenas across the country? He won't leave the White House without an argument so why not stand him on a podium built with rollers and have the Vindman brothers and Marie Yovanovitch wheel him out of the White House and off the grounds to the sounds of the United States Marine Band. Once off campus, Kellyanne "Alternative Facts" Conway can push him a couple of blocks away over to Farragut Square where he can give lunchtime harangues to whatever rats and brainwashed, braindead MAGA hat-wearing loons show up. I can see Don Jr. making a fake presidential seal for the roller podium that says "The Real President Of The United States" with the letters fashioned out of elephant ivory. "Please love me daddy, at least more than Eric."

No doubt Trump will expand on the above idea and have himself and his podium sent to New York where he will be wheeled down Fifth Avenue and over to a MAGA rally at Madison Square Garden and then embark on his national tour. His supporters will totally regard him as the real president as will virtually all republicans, led by Moscow Mitch. Why? Because the seal says so! It will be the Republican Party's way of effectively seceding like they always threaten to only without any borders having to be adjusted (with Sharpies or otherwise). The Trumpists can just renounce their citizenship. Of course, by then, I will be the head of Homeland Security and they'll have to apply for visas and a green card.