Rushin’ To Destruction, 2019 In Review, Part 14-- "Highlights" From New York Magazine’s Interview With Rudy Giuliani

-by Noah

Interview with a demented vampire is more like it. Rudy Giuliani does look more and more like Nosferatu every day. Eventually, he will look like the gollum in the Lord Of The Rings movie. He’s already traipsing ‘round the world in search of that precious ring that will give him power. In so many stories like Lord Of The Rings, the embrace of absolute corruption leads to dementia and physical grotesqueness. This is what has happened to Rudy.

Rudy wasn’t much to begin with. He has always represented and symbolized the diseased parts of America. In that sense, when a goon like Wolf Blitzer dubbed him “America’s Mayor,” it may have been a highly accurate description and appellation.

After too long of a time, New York City eventually got wise to Rudy. Eventually so did much of the rest of the country. Rudy is a megalomaniac, a racist, narcissistic saliva-spraying dumbo. Only Rudy could have spent $50 fucking million dollars on his own presidential campaign and gotten just one delegate for the convention (although that record may soon be broken); and that one delegate hailed form what state? Florida, of course! And who else would put the security center for the World Trade Center right in one of the two towers after an attempt to bring them down with truck bombs? Rudy! That’s who! Genius! Is it any wonder that Rudy and Trump are such a matched pair of pals? They are roommates in Asylum America. And let’s not forget that FOX “News” and its viewership worship this creepy fungus of a man. Republicans hang on his every word. To them, he is a star of 2019, someone to follow and revere.

What follows are some of the make America great again moments of one of Trump’s “Best People.” When you elect a flatulent gasbag, Rudy happens. If you read Olivia Nuzzi’s New York Magazine interview with Rudy, even in encapsulated form as presented below, it quickly becomes obvious that 15 or even a 150 flushes will never be enough.

Let’s start at the beginning of the interview: Olivia Nuzzi’s description of her subject. It is surreal:

He sang me an aria from Rigoletto, one of the first pieces he fell in love with when he was introduced to opera in high school, as he theatrically conducted with his hands. Over a sweater, he wore a navy blue suit, the fly of the pants unzipped. He accessorized with an American flag lapel pin, American flag woven wallet, a diamond-encrusted pinky ring, and a diamond-encrusted Yankees world Series ring…

Four things struck immediately struck me about Nuzzi’s description: 1) The pinky ring! Say no more! Or, should I just wonder if Trump’s lifelong connection to mobsters has rubbed off on his lawyer? 2) The Yankees gave him a World Series ring. Shame on them, but, I guess it’s not surprising. The ring was given to Giuliani by the team’s late owner George Steinbrenner, a man who was once convicted of funneling illegal campaign contributions to Republican president Richard Nixon and then intimidating employees of his shipbuilding company to give false information to a grand jury. Birds of a feather. 3) Can you imagine being subjected to a demented old coot like Rudy Giuliani trying to sing opera? I know that I will never again be able to hear so much as 3 notes of opera without thinking of Rudy trying in vain to sing it. As for number 4, I suppose Rudy is used to participating in interviews with his zipper down but he should have known that Olivia Nuzzi doesn’t do that kind of interviewing.

Once the interview began, Giuliani related how he got back to New York in time for it. Rudy said:

We snuck out of Kiev to escape having to answer a lot of questions. They all thought we were going to leave on Friday morning, and I organized a private plane to Vienna on Thursday night.

Of course he snuck out, just like his thug buddies Lev Parnas and Igor Fruman tried to sneak out of the U.S. to avoid questions, and more. As Nuzzi points out, Rudy wasn’t clear if he meant questions from the press of from government officials.

As she spoke with Rudy, Nuzzi observed that he held 3 phones of various sizes in one hand. The phones were on, unlocked, and banging against each other. He accidently activated Siri who said she didn’t understand his command.

She never understands me

Nuzzi then describes Rudy poking at the phone, attempting to silence Siri. Think of it this way: A senile old man in a nursing home trying to figure out modern tech. This is a man who bills himself as a cyber systems security expert. It’s all too perfect that his client, the President of the United States, makes a habit of speaking and tweeting on unsecured phones, if only to make it as easy as pie for our adversaries, aka his pals, to know everything he’s up to.

Nuzzi then asks Giuliani how he ever trusted Lev Parnas and Igor Fruman:

They look like Miami people. I know a lot of Miami people that look like that that are perfectly legitimate and act like them. Neither on of them have ever been convicted of a crime. Neither one.

Yeah, Rudy, they’re “legitimate businessmen.” The bit about neither one ever being convicted of a crime may be changing soon, and, as we all know, every legitimate businessman tries to sneak out of the country on one-way air tickets. Wave that pinky ring, Rudy.

Then, Rudy offers this. He’s so far gone, as we know from his appearances on Hannity, that he can’t even keep his stories straight within two or three sentences. We’ve seen similar statements from Rudy during his wacked out appearances on FOX “News.” If Rudy wasn’t the heinous individual that he is, the evidence that such statements give might almost engender sympathy.

I have no business interests in Ukraine. I’ve done two business deals in Ukraine. I’ve sought four or five others.

Rudy Giuliani reads his own press and feels betrayed by friends who warned him about tarnishing his reputation. Like many people in his condition, he has become more than a bit paranoid. One of his ex-wives implied that he’s an alcoholic. He states that old friends suspect the abuse of other substances affecting his mental state, too. He gets sarcastic and defensive.

Oh yeah, yeah. I do a lot of drugs. There was one I was addicted to. I’ve forgotten what it is. I don’t know where the drug things come from. I really don’t. The alcohol comes from the fact that I did occasionally drink. I love Scotch. I can’t help it. All of the malts. And part of it is cigars. I love to have them with cigars. I’m a partyer.

The idea of him snorting crushed adderall with Trump comes to mind. Party down, dude!

Rudy apparently feels even more betrayed by the lawyers of the Southern District of New York. He considered them to be his guys working in his world. He had power there but that was the 1980s. He feels entitled to some looking the other way action. He thinks “his guys” might be jealous of him.

If they’re investigating me, they’re assholes. They’re absolutely assholes if they’re investigating me.

Nuzzi says he starts drooling onto his sweater as he gets into his paranoia and bitterness at possibly being betrayed by those who see the law as the law. In all of this, he is unbelievably Trump-like.

If they are, they’re idiots. Then they really are a Trump-deranged bunch of silly New York liberals… If they think I committed a crime, they’re out of their minds.

Rudy speaks and acts like his client. Speaking of the whistleblower, he even engages in projection:

How do we know he isn’t a paranoid schizophrenic? How do we know he isn’t an alcoholic?

The money shot of Nuzzi’s conversation with Rudy is the one that most of us heard the day the conversation was published. It’s hard to tell, though, which of Rudy’s mutterings are more bizarre. Anyway, what leapt from the page was Rudy’s engaging in the grand Republican tradition of George Soros conspiracy theorizing. Republicans are obsessed with Soros. They blame him for a lot of their credibility problems. They spread tales of him spending billions against republicans even though what he spends is a pittance compared to what a whole battalion of Republican-supporting billionaires each spend against Democrats. Rudy claims that former Ukraine Ambassador Marie Yovanovitch is “controlled” by Soros:

He put all four ambassadors there. And he’s employing the FBI agents. Don’t tell me I’m anti-Semitic if I oppose him. Soros is hardly a Jew. I’m more of a Jew than Soros is. I probably know more about-- he doesn’t go to church, he doesn’t go to religion-- synagogue, he doesn’t support Israel. He’s an enemy of Israel. He’s elected eight anarchist DA’s in the United States. He’s a horrible human being.

Well, Rudy does call George Soros a human being so there is that. The whole article shouldn’t have been called “A Conversation With Rudy Giuliani.” It should have been called “Rudy Off The Rails,” but we already knew that. Still, it’s good that Rudy puts his mental state on display so openly, not that we can readily do anything about it. Once in a while, though, sunlight actually does serve mankind as a disinfectant.