Midnight Meme Of The Day!

by Noah

Knowing what we know of President Trump's terribly sick mind, there can be no doubt that he actually thinks this award is a good thing, a tremendous thing. A downright important and bigly thing. No doubt he already has this "important award" hanging on the wall of his Mar-a-Lago office, right next to his fake Time Magazine "Man Of The Year" cover on one side and a blank space for his never to materialize Nobel Peace Prize on the other.

Here at DWT, we are pleased to report that Moscow Mitch, despite his insincere and pathetic, phony-assed attempts at distancing himself from Trump on the matter of what Putin's Fist Puppet has done to the Kurds and the mess in Turkey and Syria that he has deliberately created on behalf of his Russian spy master, is seething with jealousy. It seems that Moscow Mitch feels that he was, as Trump's number one expediter and protector in the $enate, entitled to have received the award. Don't worry Mitch, I'm sure your Russian friends will happily send you a knock-off with your name and turtle face on it, if you beg enough. They might even give you one later if you make good on your pledge to prevent Trump from being removed from office. After all, nothing would make them, and your party, happier, for now. If you continue to play your cards right, the Ruskies might even send you a leg lamp in a crate marked xpynkoe (fragile). Please don't quiver in fear Mitch. The Russians know what you like. It won't be a lady's leg. It'll be an exact replica of one of Vladimir Putin's legs, shaved or unshaved depending on your preference. You can fondle it in your office to your tiny charred heart's content.