Midnight Meme Of The Day!

by Noah

Rep. Gym Jordan (R-OH) prides himself on being Trumpanzee's number one defender in the House. Can you imagine how sick and deranged you have to be to even want that job let alone take pride in it? No, Gym Jordan will never have any decency at long last.

Before Gym even got elected by the fools and pro-perv voters in his district, he was a national wrestling champion and then, what else, wrestling coach at Ohio State, a coach who reportedly failed his students miserably. Since his time as coach, charges of his wrestlers being sexually abused in the showers have never stopped, not even after cases were settled. Like Sgt. Schultz, Jordan has always claimed and still claims that he saw nothing. He even smugly says that the settlements provide vindication for him. No, Gym. They are just settlements. As he does with his master, Trump, he even basically takes a "So what!" approach. It's all for the greater glory. Imagine how many fellow priests Gym would be covering for right now if he had gone into the priesthood.

Wrestling coach to congressman: Like most politicians, Gym Jordan isn't going to ever win prizes at the state science fair. In fact, watching Gym Jordan speak leaves you wondering if he can even write his own name. It's that bad. My first impression of him was that his handlers found him in the woods being raised by wolves or chimpanzees. They shaved him, cleaned him up, introduced him to bipedalism, taught him rudimentary English, dressed him in his first clothes, and put him in front of microphones for the voters of his district, and, well, they bought it.

Gym Jordan is the ranking member (top Republican) on the House Oversight Committee. As evidenced by his twisted statements in defense of Trump after Kurt Volker's testimony and the depositions of other witnesses before committee, there's no Trump shit that he won't happily smear himself with. No doubt Rep. Jordan owns cherishes that famous piece of toilet paper that was once stuck to Trump's shoe as he walked up the stairs to board Air Force One. It wouldn't shock me if he got it autographed and has it framed in his office.

Gym Jordan is a bad, bad boy. He even makes the most of his sick displays of subservience to Trump by craving the cameras even more than is typical of most politicians. Attempts to realtime fact check Gym Jordan's blatant lies as he speaks to pundits and show hosts on live national television are meaningless to him as long as he can be on screen. He's a simple man. The word 'shame' is not in his lexicon. Think of Gym Jordan as giving Lindsey Graham a run for his money in Washington's endless Mr./Ms. Shameless category. The only difference may be that Graham has a much bigger vocabulary and can read street signs, books, and porno mags.

Jordan's narcissism may even top that of his master. One might almost feel sorry for him when that day comes that no one wants him on their show. He's the kind of guy who will beg for the attention until he's a sobbing mess on the floor. At that time, we can gladly tell him, "Take a shower, Gym! Take a shower!"