Midnight Meme Of The Day!

by Noah

What decent person wouldn't want the opportunity to slap Traitor Don upside the head. Forget slap. I'd pay good money for a free punch. Better yet, give me a bat or a heavy stick and I'd put every ounce of my 200 pounds into it. Hold still, Donnie! But hey, I know I'm being selfish. I know that the majority of people in this country and around the world would love the chance to do the same. It's the perfect gift for this holiday season. Let's get ironic and make this a democratic enterprise!

So, what to do when billions of the world's righteous citizens want a little revenge. Trump has made himself the poster boy for evil and no character. He is a pox. What to do when billions of people want to deliver a message of retribution? What to do when billions of people want justice that they will never see any other way? It's obvious. Trump is even shaped like a big fat orange piñata, a big fat orange piñata with yellow hair and white eyes, and a long red festive tie. No normal person looks like that. Hang him up in a town square and people will come along and say, "Look it's a piñata!" Once they see what it really is, they'll want to club it even more. It's the theory of how terrorism is born at work. People don't even need to understand. They'll line up in a line that stretches completely around the world, maybe twice! Lord help anyone who attempts to defend the pinata. I'm talkin' 'bout you McConnell and the rest of you fellow travelers on the Trump train.

But, alas, there's not enough Trump piñata to go around. Not everyone gets a shot. There has to be a way to make this fair! So, I propose a lottery. Let's say, just for the hell of it, that this Big Worldwide Trump Piñata Lottery shall have 500 winners. Each winner gets to participate in The Big Trump Beat Down. Each winner gets a commemorative bat with their name and the date of The Big Trump Beat Down engraved on it. The Big Worldwide Trump Pinata Lottery should take many forms. For instance, here in America, you know how we have those halftime events at basketball games where some audience members get to try to sink their best shot from half court and win a million dollars? Why not do a bunch of those during the NBA Playoffs this year? In Brazil and other soccer-crazy countries, they could do something similar at their games, Canada with hockey, the Brits with competitive drinking, etc. There are endless possibilities! America, of course, gets the most winners. After all Trump is our affliction, and, we always demand a bigger share of everything. It's just the way it is. We created him and we can end him. No one needs to claim that they alone can fix this.

Now, not to worry, there can be a ton of good that comes from all of this. Not only would Trump be slugged into another plane of existence, but enough money to fill a dozen Fort Knoxes would be raised. Think what that money could be used for! End poverty? Cure for cancer? World Peace? The financing of an annual series of Holiday Beat Downs for all sorts of political douchebags? Go ahead. Make. My. Day! Put that on a red hat.