Midnight Meme Of The Day!

by Noah

No, Señor Trumpanzee was not trying his hand at Avant-Garde Poetry Night. As the tonight's meme says, the above is an actual transcript from a speech Senor Turmpanzee gave in the Hamptons last week. The fundraiser was organized by Nixon son-in-law Ed Cox. How fitting that there be a Nixon connection to Trump!

The event was hosted by Nathan's Hot Dog magnate Howard Lorber, a fact that has led to a deserved mini-boycott of the nation's most putrid hot dogs. There was no word as to whether or not any of Nathan's mystery meat products were served, although, given Trumpanzee's well-documented death-defying eating habits, nothing should surprise us.

I have more serious questions, though. For instance, how many idiot Republican Party funders immediately gladly wrote out a check after witnessing the words of their brilliant orator? The booze must have been really flowing if they did, not that that's really what it would take. I'd also like to know what drugs Trumpanzee partakes in but I bet we'll never know. I'm reminded of his constant sniffing during the 2016 campaign debates, but he's even worse now.

Finally, imagine this: How would you like to be a translator when our sad joke of a president meets with people from other lands. You couldn't pay me enough. And don't even try offering me a Nathan's hot dog. They'll kill more birds than any wind farm.