Midnight Meme Of The Day!

by Noah

Where would you send Señor Trumpanzee? Where would you send him if all options were possible?

This meme has been making the rounds of late. It's a reflection of just how Trump inspires people. I guess the first places I thought of were the moon or Mars, but then I thought about how hard our scientists try to not contaminate our neighboring planets and moons, so, they are definitely out. Then I figured, why not play nice and send him to a place where he'd rather be anyway? Surely, his buddy Putin would welcome him in Moscow. I wouldn't be surprised if he gave Trump a nice villa in the Crimea. Of course, then my sense of justice came roaring back. Why not, since he loves Russia so much, send him to still radioactive Chernobyl. Trump is so diseased already that Chernobyl would be like a spa to him. Who knows, if his lunacy is being caused by syphilis, the radiation might cure him.

Then I thought, no, sending him to Russia is too obvious. How about someplace really horrible, like Kansas? There, Trump could see first hand the ravages brought about by years of Republican economic and tax policies. Nah, that would be lost on him. He lacks the sensitivity to take it all in. It is a pretty white place, though. That led me to the idea of sending him somewhere where there are no white folks at all; somewhere way up a remote tributary of the Amazon where he could spend his remaining days "fearing the other" and depending on the human kindness of a "lost" tribe or a tribe that has had no, or very minimal, contact with the outside world and had no idea who he was. How would they react, especially when he started throwing his tantrums. Would they just shoot a poison dart into his fat neck? What would they think of his hair? Would they think it would look even more freaky if they shrunk his head?

Damn, so many choices! Trying to decide on just the right gift is so hard! Then, I saw it! I saw the spectacular footage of that erupting volcano in Hawaii. Perfect!