Midnight Meme Of The Day!

-by Noah

We all encounter Republikooks who whine on and on about "socialism" and how they don't want any of their money going to other people (Translation: "Those people"). "It's my money. I should keep it." Of course, they constantly prove that they have no idea what socialism is by often equating it with Marxism, Communism, and even Nazism. That Republicans do this so loosely and freely is one of the very best indicators that the Republican mind is woefully lacking when it comes to critical thinking ability.

All of this came back to me when, about 10 days ago, the news came that Kentucky Senator Rand Paul had been beaten up by his next door neighbor over some fallen leaves that straddled the border of his property and his neighbor's property. That's right, two supposedly grown men came to blows over dead leaves. Must be some sort of Kentucky thing. Anyway, Senator Paul got the worst of the deal, suffering a black eye, assorted bruises, and 5, count 'em 5 broken ribs. And, untold numbers of fine Americans thought to themselves that they would have loved the opportunity to do the same thing.

Since Senator Paul presents himself as a rabid anti-socialist of any kind and a Libertarian, one would expect that he would have just gone to his own refrigerator, put some of his own ice on his eye, wrap up his torso all by himself, and lie in bed for a few days. Isn't that what anyone who so vehemently preaches a philosophy of self-dependence would do? Rand Paul has made it clear that he don't need no stinkin' doctor, no tax-supported EMS, and, certainly no Big Government healthcare! Ah, but that's where the truth about Senator Paul's phoniness and hypocrisy comes in! Rather than tend to himself, he called 911 for the EMS people and/or police to get him to a hospital where he could present his card and have his care taken care of on our dime via the dreaded Big Government Socialistic Senatorial Healthcare Plan. All of this makes Senator Rand Paul a socialist, not a Libertarian, not even a Republican, just another jackass in a suit who lives off (sponges off) the perks we provide him with.

But, back to those Republikooks I mentioned: Whenever they start in with me on "socialism", I ask them if they really mean that they want no part of "socialism." I mean really, really mean it. Try this sometime. Everyone of them will say they want no part of anything that even smacks of the dreaded socialism. Fine, I tell them. I respect their position. I really do. At that point they get a bit smug, thinking they've won some sort of argument. Then, I tell them that if a burglar is coming in through their window, they better not call the township or state police because the local governments pay for their salaries and equipment with our tax dollars. And, if a brush fire is quickly approaching their house, they better just rely on their garden hose to beat it back. I also tell them to be responsible for their own drinking water by digging their own well and making sure whatever water they get from that well stays drinkable all by itself, with no government protection. Then I tell them to never go on my Interstate Highway again since that highway system is one of the biggest manifestations of Big Government and socialism that this country has ever enjoyed. I tell them if they and all their republican friends stay off my Interstate, there will be much less traffic and the drive will be much more enjoyable. I've said this many times, to many kooks. Sometimes, I also tell them not to fly anywhere that is watched over by the FAA. They get such a confused look on their dumb faces. It's better than breaking their ribs.