Let’s All Send This Simple Poll Back To Trump! It’s The Patriotic Thing To Do!

-by Noah

Filling out this official Republican Party poll will only take 3 minutes of your time and you will have the satisfaction of having thrown a little jab at a Republican today. Just think of whatever goon in the White House who gets the results and has to share them with the new communications director or whomever.

The poll came in my email today. I get all sorts of things from Repugs in my email: things that just make you shake you’re head. Quite some time ago, I deliberately put myself on a few Republican mailing lists in order to see what kind of emails the kooks get. Call it an effort to understand.

This poll is called "The Mainstream Media Accountability Survey." It comes from the Trump-Pence "Trump Make America Great Again Committee." It’s a classic textbook example of an organization creating a poll and sending it only to those who they think will give them the exact answers they want. Once the results are in, you will hear things like "Our latest polling shows that most Americans back us, support Trump, etc. blah, blah, etc. etc."

Most importantly, the questions in the poll reveal the increasing paranoia of the Trumpanzee crowd. It’s a very defensive poll and it’s clearly part of the White House effort to counter the reality of daily revelations of their treachery towards America and 99.5 % of its people. It seeks to place blame elsewhere.

The questions have a real, as Bill Maher would say, "whiny little bitch" quality. You might even come to the conclusion that Trump wrote the questions himself or that they came directly from his tweets. Regardless, the questions reveal that republicans are in an obvious an ever-deepening bunker mentality. It’s a mentality that is acting like quicksand. The more they thrash around in it, the deeper they sink.

So, let’s be great Americans and help them out! Let’s help them sink as much as we can! Some are already jumping ship but we can throw some cinderblocks or some lead weights to the rest.

Will we affect the majority answers at the end of the day? Doubtful. After all, the repugs have sent this poll to a very large list of republicans. But, we can still confuse them and dig at them and disturb at them. Maybe we can even push them a little closer to the glorious day when they crack up completely (as if they hadn’t before they applied for their jobs). How? Well, the more progressives that answer this poll, the more the poll skews away from the expected percentages they are seeking.

Answering this poll from a progressive viewpoint and sending it to the republican bunker is our assignment for today! Have a poke at the bear! The Russian bear. We can all do our little bit to "Make America Great Again."

And there are already polls out about what the public thinks about Trump's deranged attacks on the media. This is from last week's Quinnipiac poll: