"We've Never Owned a Democrat Before..."
Purchase a Democrat? I'll have to ask my friends how that works out (source; click to enlarge).
by Gaius Publius
All in the spirit of fun. If you like your politics with a touch of humor, Andy Borowitz and the Borowitz Report are terrific reads.
Borowitz in the New Yorker, a taste:
Koch Brothers Consider Purchasing First DemocratRead the rest. It won't take long and you'll get a smile from the last sentence.
By Andy Borowitz
WICHITA (The Borowitz Report)—Charles and David Koch, the billionaire industrialists who have spent decades acquiring a world-class collection of Republicans, revealed over the weekend that they are considering purchasing their first Democrat.
“We’ve always bought Republicans, and our father bought Republicans before us,” Charles, the elder Koch, said. “They’re bred to be obedient, and they respond to simple commands.”
He said that he and his brother had considered acquiring a Democrat only after determining that none of the Republicans on offer this year was worth adding to their collection.
“It’s kind of a scary proposition for us, because we’ve never owned a Democrat before,” he said. “We don’t really know what we should be looking for.”
Koch said that he and his brother learned, after making some phone calls, that other oligarchs have bought Democrats in the past, and “had good experiences with them.”
“That was very reassuring,” he said. ...
Are the Kochs Really Buying a Democrat?
Does news like this mean the Kochs are actually thinking of buying a Democrat? Unlikely, though as their electoral fortunes fall, many could be for sale at increasingly interesting prices. More likely, though, the Kochs are trying to throw a scare into Donald Trump, to soften him up for a better deal — for them — should he make it to the Oval Office.
Still, I don't think I'd make light of the opportunity if I had more money than a thousand of me could spend. Many Democrats are definitely priced to go, and if the downward voting trend and rising hubris continue, many, including the very high, may well be had at discounts normally reserved for volume buyers only.