It’s Trump! The Republicans Take Their Future, And Ours, To The Big Casino

By Noah

For those who didn’t watch The Sopranos or don’t know: "The Big Casino" is a slang term often used by East Coast Italian-Americans instead of the word cancer, or, "The Big C."

Trump is their guy! The best of the best of the 17 Repug contestants!

Are Republicans missing a chromosome or two? Well, they don’t believe in science, so what does it matter? Donald Trump, a birther, bankruptcy king, game show host, and F5 tornado of bigotries, who made his money by parlaying an inheritance into Atlantic City casinos that play on the delusional instant winner get rich hopes of the foolish, particularly senior citizens, is now the Republican Party’s presumptive candidate for President.

Step right up! Step right up! Put your money into the slot machine and watch all your problems disappear in a flash! Trump is in! He’s our guy! Is he the first candidate to fund his campaign with casino money? Nope. Sheldon Adelson was feeding casino cash to Gingrich, and then Romney, last time around. Are the hopes of Trump’s followers and his party as misplaced as a quarter in a slot machine? You decide. I already have.

With the conclusion of the Indiana primary vote on Tuesday night, John Kasich is out. Rafael “Ted” Cruz is out. In the end, not even a human dynamo like Carly “Pink Slip” Fiorina could save the candidacy of “Ted” Cruz! Naming her his VP choice did zero good, but, no doubt, with her experience at running successful corporations into the ground, she can help Cruz put his staff out of work.

Fittingly, Rafael “Ted” Cruz even managed to punch is wife in the nose and then elbow her face while bowing out.

Alas, think what he could have done for the whole country!

So now it’s official. White Supremacist Donald Trump is now the leader of the Republican Party. Any insincere denials aside, the Republican Party built this. The Republican Party is the party of white identity resentment politics. Now that Trump has won the Indiana primary, Herr Reince Priebus has called upon all Republicans to rally behind Trump. The party is so emboldened that it has given up all pretense of being something other than what it is and what it has been for decades.

The news that Ohio Governor John Kasich (a far-righter himself, but one with a façade of normalcy) would also step aside for Herr Trumpf came the morning after the same Indian primary that buried Cruz. Repugs just didn’t like Kasich. Why? Well, he expanded Medicare under the Affordable Care Act. How dare he help the citizens of his state! He also told horrified Repugs to read the Bible if they didn’t understand why he did it. That was just too much. The Jesus the Republicans believe in apparently wasn’t a healer. Hell, the Jesus Republicans believe in apparently wears a hood, a sheet, and burns crosses. They believe in the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of sickness for the poor and huddled masses that should be turned away from our door.

The only mystery left is whom will Trump pick as his running mate. Will he go uber-cynical and look for the cover of a black Latina transgender woman? Or, failing that, will he take a more traditional Republican-style approach and just ask Carly Fiorina to adopt a so comical fake and denigrating Dominican accent and appear in public in blackface? No doubt she’d do it, but I think Trump has made it clear that he rather just put a bag over her head, if not a white hood.

Could Trump be thinking of dressing up Glenn Beck as Cinderella’s fairy godmother, complete with the magic wand with the star (5-pointed) on the end? “Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo” as a campaign slogan? Trump may dream it, but there’s the basic problem that even a hate-governed misanthropic clown like Beck can’t stand Trump. That speaks loudly! Oh well, there’s always Rudy. He’s faked being a woman before so…

Ben Carson? Well, he has his advantages, including comic relief, plus, maybe he could fix Donald’s brain while he’s at it.

Megyn Kelly? Well, she is demonstrably a racist but the problem is that, like most people, she is smarter than Trump and that makes him all insecure and ill at ease.

How about a Kardashian? Now that’s real reality show, but maybe the name Kardshian has too many syllables for Trump’s followers. David Duke is a nice, short name: easy to remember, and so much more!

Maybe Trump will pick some horrific failed Republican governor. Chris Christie? Can he make the nation’s problems disappear as fast as he made all that Sandy money disappear? After all of Trump’s anti-woman statements, would Christie’s wife let him join the ticket? She never looks too happy to stand on stage at Trump’s KKK hatefests. But, remember, she was stupid enough to marry the guy. Could Scott “No voting for you!” Walker be on Trump’s short list? How about mass poisoner, Rick Snyder of Michigan?

It might even be a military person. Back in 1968, George Wallace picked Gen. Curtis LeMay. LeMay was a WWII hero but he was on record as saying that the use of nukes would never be out of the question. Trump recently said the same thing, so, there ya go. LeMay was also known for saying that there is no such thing as "innocent civilians." If you listen to Herr Trump, that also applies to American citizens.

This is what America gets when it lowers the bar of what is acceptable and tolerates a media that goes along. After people like Bush, Palin, and Cheney were accepted by the public in recent years, the lowering of the bar down to Trump was all but inevitable. Whether he wins or loses, the standards have been lowered even more. Expect the candidacy of former KKK Grand Wizard David Duke himself in 2020. Why wait? Here’s Trump advocate David Duke on Tuesday:

"I think these Jewish extremists have made a terribly crazy miscalculation, because all they’re going to be doing by doing a 'Never Trump' movement is exposing their alien, their anti-American, anti-American majority position. They’re going to push people more into an awareness that the Neo-cons are the problem, that these Jewish supremacists who control our country are the real problem, and the reason why America is not great.”

"Make America Great Again?" Was Duke signaling that he’d accept the nod for VP?

Trump has played it cagey on the question of Duke for months now. Once, when asked about all the support he’s getting from Grand Wizards across the land, he even disingenuously claimed that he knew nothing about the KKK and white supremacy. This time, he has said he disavows Duke, but can we believe him when we look at the sum total of the quotations of The Donald, or even his twitter account? Not a chance in Hell. He is what he is and he’s revealed quite a bit already.

With Trump, the Republican Party has sunk to a new low. There’s no telling how low they will go. At this point, they’re probably looking for 17 serial child molesters for 2020. Maybe next time Republicans will follow the lead of former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay, a supporter of serial child molester Dennis Hastert. Hastert, a former Republican Speaker Of The House and once third in line for the presidency is unavailable for VP or any office right now but might we see him get the support of his party for president some day? What form of walking, talking human cancer will Republicans choose next time? Will Hastert be the choice of Republican primary voters next time: if there is a next time?