Food (and Technology) Watch: "Costco pizza-saucing is the most mesmerizing thing you'll see all day" (Thrillist's Lucy Meilus)

Take the Costco Pizza-Saucing Machine Test:
Bet you can't watch just once


by Ken

I've classed this originally as a "Food Watch" dispatch but felt it necessary to add the "(and Technology)," since it can unquestionably be argued that the function performed by this gizmo is of greater mechanical than gastronomic interest.

The clip has been around since January, I see, but it would never have occurred to me to go looking for it if it hadn't just appeared (or reappeared?) on Thrillist under the title I've imported for this post.

"Good luck doing anything (other than maybe going to Costco) today," says Thrillist's Lucy Meilus. "This hypnotizing video of Costco's automatic pizza sauce dispenser doing its thing is worth watching through 10-20 times. And, if you're so inspired, it's also probably not a bad time to go get some."

Lucy does raise a provocative question:

But also, is pizza-saucing by hand so grueling of a process that this is necessary? Like, come on.

I think we can all guess what Costco's answer to this would be, from both the gastronomic and the productivity standpoints -- consistency of product in the first case, and efficiency and skill-level requirements in the second.

THERE IS, I DISCOVERED . . .

. . . an entire online Costco Pizza Video Library, including these favorite titles:

Costco pizza


How to make a Costco pizza in 30 seconds



COSTCO DISCLAIMER

Although the author did in fact belong to Costco for a year, and in fact frequently enjoyed the pizza (and, even more, the rotisserie chickens), that was a number of years ago -- he discovered that, nice as it was to have a Manhattan outlet, it wasn't all that useful in the absence of VSC (Vehicular Schlepping Capability -- his route home involved two buses onto and off of which all purchases had to be hand-schlepped. He wishes to make clear that since that year there have been absolutely no ties between him and the Costco enterprise. Shop there, don't shop there; eat the pizza, don't eat the pizza -- it's all the same to him. If, however, you happen just to have purchased an extra rotisserie chicken. . . .

"Don't fuck with the chicken! For real!"

"A dude almost jumped you. He put his hands on you for chicken. You almost got your ass whupped in Costo over some chicken. . . . Don't fuck with the chicken! For real!"

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