Medical Watch: So, March Madness is the season for vasectomies?
Um, you're gonna have to write your own caption on this one.
Now hold on just a doggone second here. These reports aren't all coming out of The Onion, are they?
Amazingly, it doesn't seem so. There really does seem to have been a New York Mag Intelligencer post, "Men Now Scheduling Vasectomies As Excuse to Stay Home and Watch March Madness" (featuring the Iowa Clinic graphic I've placed atop this post), which drew on an Iowa Gazette piece, "NCAA Tourney: Brackets, upsets, vasectomies?" And the NY Mag post spawned a specifically feminist take on The Frisky:
Men Are Scheduling Vasectomies So They
Can Recover During March Madness
By: Megan Reynolds / March 20, 2015
With March Madness comes the inevitable flurry of brackets, beer, yelling and covert viewings of basketball games on the second monitor of your work computer. But, if you’re a man who no longer wants to have children, you can effectively achieve that goal, while also watching all the NCAA games unfettered, by scheduling a vasectomy in March, so you have an excuse to stay at home with an ice pack on your balls — while watching every single game of course. . . .
Is this an example of men being terrible? . . . [M]en getting their fucking tubes tied so that they can sit on the couch, watch sports and not take out the garbage or whatever is horrible. If any man I was with rang a goddamn bell while he was sitting on the couch with a bag of frozen peas on his junk, I’d Waiting To Exhale his ass so fast he wouldn’t know what hit him.
Despite that, this is still kind of brilliant, on par with scheduling getting your wisdom teeth out to coincide with a marathon of the Harry Potter movies on ABC Family. You win this round, men. Just this once.
YOU'D LET THIS GUY PLAY WITH YOUR PRIVATES?
Then it's probably all for the good that you're getting yourself "fixed."
New Orleans urologist Dr. Neil Baum, USA Today's "For the Win" blog reports, offers an annual March Madness package that this year consists of "a scalpel-free vasectomy, a pizza, a Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue, a frozen gel pack, and a bell, so that patients can sit on the couch and ring for someone to 'bring them a fresh beer or whatever they need.' "
The really crazy part is that any guy who's seen those crazy eyes of Dr. Baum would let the doc anywhere near his private parts.
Labels: Culture Watch