Look who's back! It's America's own favoritest war criminal! UPDATE: Hank the K sidelined!

UPDATE: Senate Foreign Relations Chairman Bob Corker announced Monday that a shoulder fracture will keep the 91-year-old former secretary of state from appearing this week

Lookin' sassy, Doctor K! Okay, I've chopped former German Foreign Minister Hans-Dietrich Genscher out of the picture, taken in June 2013 at a Berlin reception for Henry the K’s 90th birthday (which had happened on May 27), because heck, we're here to celebrate our own Scumbags 'n' Crackpots -- and while Germans may wish to still think of our Hank as one of theirs, we know better, don't we?

by Ken

It's one of the things I have fond remembrance of the late Christopher Hitchens, a man it isn't easy to remember fondly. (This was before his brain succumbed to all that pickling, or whatever happened to it.) He began a book review with an apology, explaining that he was breaking his vow not to read another book by this author until the first volume of his prison diaries. The author, as you've no doubt guessed, was Henry Kissinger.

In the carnival atmosphere of this week in Our Nation's Capital, marking the opening of the new Congress -- "The Crackpot 114th™," as it's known affectionately to its friends -- I imagine the Capitol festooned with celebratory signs, probably hand-painted on old bed sheets, like this:



And this:



And especially this:



Because, yes, in addition to welcoming all the new scumbags taking their seats in The Crackpot 114th™, the Crackpot 'n' Scumbags ringleaders are pleased to welcome bag crackpots and scumbags from days of old. Yes, two of the Senate's new committee chairment, "Corkless Bob" Corker of Foreign Relations and "Young Johnny" McCranky of Armed Services, are kicking off their new shows with Old Gravel Puss, at 10am and 2:30pm respectively.

And — wouldn’t you know it? — it just so happens Kissinger’s  latest book, his 14th, came out a few months ago, appropriately titled, World Order.

Perhaps he could rev up the new teams with an elaborate disquisition on the Treaty of Westphalia back in the mid-17th century — you know, the one that ended the Thirty Years’ War — and the Islamist rejection of those principles?

Just make sure committee members and staff are sufficiently caffeinated.

What, you don't have your copy of World Order yet? You can probably find it at your local bookseller's, or at, you know, Amazon or one of those places.

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