Whatever state you live in, here's a reason to be proud

For a better view of what each of these Northeastern states is worst at, click to enlaurge.

by Ken

Here's the explanation provided by Kate Peregrina ("a writer and English teacher living in Spain") for this fascinating list-with-maps published on Thrillist:

One thing that makes the US great: no two states are the same. That diversity leads to distinct strengths and weaknesses, but how can you know what makes North Dakota different from South Dakota, besides a made-up line separating them?

Well, in the interest of showing that every state sucks in some way, we picked out one key area where each is most deficient. This is what every state is the worst at.

This strikes me as actually pretty cool. I'm not going to swear to the 100 percent veracity of each of these special distinctions for the 50 United States, or insist that each is necessarily the worst thing that could be said about the state. But it seems safe to say that the states are pretty darned special in their special categories. Like it's possible that there are criteria by which some other state or states has/have more or worse puppy mills than Missouri (in fact, the explanatory link claims, "Missouri, Kansas top national list of worst puppy mills"), and there may be worse things to say about Missouri, but I think we can rest easy that Missouri has a lot to answer for in the puppy-mill department.

There's an alphabetical list of the states with an explanation each state's category win plus an explanatory link. I've plunked out just a couple in each of the four quadrant maps.

Note that in the maps, I've lopped off some duplicated states but not others. Sue me. Also note that I've lopped off Hawaii, which in the original appears at the bottom of the Southeast map. Alaska off to the southwest of the Southwest is one thing (though its out-of-placeness did discourage me from saluting its whopping chlamydia rate); Hawaii-in-the-Caribbean struck me as pushing it a little too far. In case you're wondering:

Hawaii: Highest homelessness rate
The good news is that homelessness has been decreasing in the United States in recent years. The bad news is that Hawaii still has about five times more homeless people than Mississippi, Indiana, and Kansas. At least they get to sleep on a beach?

As for the rest of the country, here are the maps and some highlights.


NORTHEAST

[See map above.]

Vermont: Most illicit drug use
Vermont’s love for drugs can perhaps be linked to the fact that it is also the state with the fewest children, and now most of its residents have reached an age where they realize the incurable pain life has to offer. Either that, or they're just really into partying.

Ohio: Worst water
Ohio came in dead last in a study of water cleanliness by the Natural Resources Defense Council. "There's something in the water", might actually explain why Ohio's professional sports teams never win anything.


NORTHWEST



Wyoming: Highest suicide rate
Wyoming has the highest rate of suicides at 23.2 per 100,000. The state with the highest will to live is New Jersey, which has a suicide rate nearly three times lower than Wyoming’s. Thankfully, Wyoming is also the least populous state.

Washington: Worst at loving Justin Bieber
Washington just legalized pot smoking for kicks, but still won't let people grow weed at home. Imagine all the money they're wasting that stoners could be injecting into the pizza delivery industry.has the lowest salaries in the country. Bad news for employees, great news for employers.


SOUTHWEST



California: Most polluted cities
Everybody already knows the air in Los Angeles feels like it was imported from a Mad Max movie. But, not surprisingly, the air also sucks in Bakersfield, Modesto, Sacramento, and Fresno. As if you needed another reason not to visit Fresno.

New Mexico: Most accidental deaths
And the award for most fatally careless goes to...New Mexico!


SOUTHEAST



Georgia: Least integrity
Politicians in Georgia are the least ethical in the country, with an estimated 658 state workers having accepted gratuities during a two-year period. State legislators were not available for comment without an offer of basketball tickets or honey baked hams.

Texas: Fewest high school graduates per capita
Less than 80% of Texans have a high school diploma. It's actually the only state that dips below 80%, too. Everything is bigger in Texas -- including dropout rates, apparently.


OKAY, A COUPLE OF THINGS

Like, for example:

I was all set to offer a tip of the hat to SOUTH DAKOTA for its lowest-paid teachers, only to disqualify it in view of the explanation: "The good news is that teachers aren’t singled out in South Dakota, because everyone gets paid less statewide. South Dakota actually has the lowest salaries in the country. Bad news for employees, great news for employers."

Then there's NEBRASKA and its "Least Furniture Manufacturing." Really? Least furniture manufacturing? Nothing on a par with, say, deficient Justin Bieber worship?

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