"Police Pleasantly Surprised To Learn Man They Shot Was Armed" (The Onion)

Police Pleasantly Surprised To Learn Man They Shot Was Armed

NEWS IN BRIEF • Local • Crime • Police • Violence •
Issue 50•41 • Oct 14, 2014





LEXINGTON, KY—Following a pedestrian stop Monday night during which they fired their weapons on a suspicious individual, patrol officers for the Fayette County Police Department were pleasantly surprised to discover the man they shot was armed, sources confirmed. “Well, what do you know—he really was carrying a gun,” said officer Dustin Hayes, smiling upon finding a 9mm pistol on the body of the 23-year-old individual shortly after the policeman and his partner discharged their firearms a total of 19 times. “I honestly had no idea if he had a handgun, so it’s pretty great to find one right there tucked into his waistband. This makes the rest of our week a whole lot easier.” Officers said they were further relieved after discovering the man had a petty theft charge on his record, ensuring they were 100 percent off the hook.

by Ken

Is this like a stopped clock being right twice a day? Or perhaps just the law of averages at work?

(Do bear in mind that, notwithstanding the unmistakable ring of plausibility, this "story" comes from The Onion -- aka "America's Finest News Source.")

Er, just kidding, officers. Pretty much.

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