The GOP "Budget": "Poopy Paul" Ryan's no April Fool -- he's the year-round kind

Oh no, is it really "Poopy Paul" Ryan's last cartoon budget? (Yes, he's term-limited out of the House Budget Committee chairmanship.)

"On net, we estimate that the House budget resolution would decrease GDP by 0.9 percent and decrease nonfarm payrolls by 1.1 million jobs in fiscal year 2015, relative to CBO’s current-law baseline. The following fiscal year, the “Path to Prosperity” would decrease GDP by 2.5 percent and cost 3.0 million jobs. And if the recovery remains sluggish, large job losses could continue under the Ryan budget in 2017 and beyond."

-- Congressional Budget Office

"Ryan's #GOPbudget would cut 3 million jobs in FY 2016. That's akin to firing the entire workforce in his home state: http://goo.gl/JegBYd" -- tweet from House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi

GOP-Ryan Radical Budget Would Slow Recovery, Cost 3 Million Jobs
Posted on April 1, 2014 by Leader's Press Shop

According to the Economic Policy Institute, the GOP-Ryan budget released this morning would have a devastating impact on American workers and the larger economy.

From EPI [Joshua Smith, Economic Policy Institute]: By Ignoring Economic Reality, Ryan Budget Would Slow Recovery, Cost Jobs

. . . On net, I estimate that the House budget resolution would decrease GDP by 0.9 percent and decrease nonfarm payrolls by 1.1 million jobs in fiscal year 2015, relative to CBO’s current-law baseline. The following fiscal year, when Ryan’s cuts to discretionary spending kick in, “The Path to Prosperity” would decrease GDP by 2.5 percent and cost 3.0 million jobs. And if the recovery remains sluggish, large job losses could continue under the Ryan budget in 2017 and beyond.

Losing 3 million jobs in FY 2016 is like:

Firing Wisconsin’s entire workforce

Firing Missouri’s entire workforce

Firing the entire working population of Indiana

Firing the entire population of Iowa or Mississippi

A budget is a statement of our values as a nation. Today, Chairman Ryan and House Republican leaders have shown, yet again, what they value most is protecting loopholes for the wealthy few and corporations that ship jobs overseas without concern for hardworking American workers, seniors, students, and our nation’s economic competitiveness.

Americans want action on jobs, strengthening the middle class, investments in infrastructure and education and a responsible path toward reducing the deficit – not another replay of Ryan’s radical partisan budget pathways to nowhere.

by Ken

I know a lot of people are referring to it as "Paul Ryan's April Fools' budget, that pile of poop he delivered to his adoring fans today. But I say this is terribly unfair. I'll bet Poopy Pauly didn't even realize it's April Fools' Day. When you devote as much effort as Poopy P does to being a Year-Round Fool, you probably don't have much patience for the damned amateurs who come rollicking out of the woodwork once a year doing their silly jokes and generally giving a bad name to the serious practitioners who toil in the trenches of foolery the whole bloody year.

• Let's say you were stuck in traffic and a squeegee guy came up to your car and started to smear the windshield with his rag. Would you ask him to propose a national budget?

• Let's say you went to open-mike night at a comedy club and there was a guy there doing a ventriloquist act. Would you go up afterward and ask the ventriloquist's dummy to propose a national budget?

• Let's say the circus has just come to town and you've come to watch them parade through the streets to the arena. Would you interrupt the guy who's following the elephants shoveling up their shit to propose a national budget?

Probably you're thinking you'll say, "Of course not," and then I'll say, "Then why would you pay any attention to a national budget proposed by Paul Ryan?" Not at all. What I'm going to say is, "Why not go ahead and ask the squeegee guy and the ventriloquist's dummy and the elephant-poop guy for their thoughts on the budget? It makes more sense than asking Paul Ryan." And the elephant guy, after all, already has professional experience shoveling shit.


Really now, when we hear Poopy Paul yammering about souls, we have to know we've somehow slipped into the Twilight Zone. And when he calls his budget gibberish a "Path to Prosperity," all he really means is: The rich get richer and the poor get fucked -- yeah, baby!

Of course the headline that's supposed to come out of Poopy Paul's comedy budget proposal is about how he's "slashing" $5 trillion over the next decade, but even he knows that's not gonna happen; it just gives him a chance to preen about how savagely he's prepared to attack most Americans -- the kind who don't matter to him. And of course he's going to save gazillions of $$$ by repealing Obamacare, though what he really means is "I'm OK health-care-wise; fuck you, jerkwads!" Thee is no human being on the planet who knows less about health care than Poopy Paul; you might as well talk to your goldfish.

You might as well ask your goldfish about health care.

If you want to read a sober Village account of the unveiling of the "Path to Prosperity," washingtonpost.com's Ed O'Keefe can oblige with"Ryan’s last budget proposal would slash $5 trillion over next decade." As Ed O points out:

But any fighting between Democrats and Republicans on spending will not result in the deadline-driven battles of recent years. That's because the House and Senate agreed this year to a spending plan that runs through the end of fiscal 2015. While the GOP-controlled House is expected to debate and pass Ryan's plan, it will serve only as a political show vote since Democrats controlling the Senate do not plan to propose or vote on a budget plan.

Poopy Paul sez: "Hey, kids, let's put on a budget show!"

So what it is, is Poopy Paul and the other kids, House Majority Leader Eric Cantor and House Majority Whip Kevin McCarthy, putting on a budget show. If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go and do some serious vomiting.

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