Hang out in your local coffee shop, and you may be lucky enough to overhear "someone discussing their airline mileage plan in detail"

No, it's not exactly Socratic dialogues you're apt to overhear while hanging out in a coffee shop.

by Ken

I have a lingering interest -- somewhere between curiosity and tolerance -- in "The Frisky," a website aimed at not-too-old and not-too-unhip women, specializing in gee-whiz pieces about sex and relationships which tend to fall into two categories:

• Explaining men to women. (Random example: "'Guy’s Guide To Birth Control' Is The Sexiest Thing You’ll See All Day.")

• Explaining women to women. (Random example: "Life After Dating: A Look Back at 4 Strange Things I Did While Single.")

In both cases there's generally a quaint feeling of the blind leading the blind on a heroic and unending quest. But sometimes even these genres generate surprising interest, and there's other stuff too -- you never know what exactly you may stumble upon. On days when I'm pressed for time, and especially when the e-mail has piled up, I'll probably just zap the e-teaser. But often on days when I have some leisure time, or I'm just not up to more responsible activity, I may find stuff like today's "11 Most Annoying Conversations To Overhear At A Coffee Shop."

The title is actually a little misleading, because what the writer, Winona Dimeo-Ediger, actually promises is "the 10 most annoying conversations that I’ve overheard at the coffee shop…within the past hour."

Hanging out in a coffee shop is always a double-edged sword. On the upside, you get to eavesdrop on the conversations of other patrons. On the downside, you get to eavesdrop on the conversations of other patrons. When the people sitting next to you are engaged in an entertaining interaction like, say, a first date, it’s basically free admission to a live, awkward rom com. But if the people are discussing something boring or annoying, for example, the pros and cons of lining your fireplace with Moravian tiles, well, it’s excruciating. Below, the 10 most annoying conversations that I’ve overheard at the coffee shop…within the past hour.

And I think it's wonderfully important that all 10-or-11 (let's not get too hung up on the math) conversations purport to have been heard within an hour. A couple of them underwhelm me, but most are pretty darned vivid. I'll be surprised if you too don't cringe at the thought of overhearing "a group of college students who have just discovered Nietzsche" or "two men comparing results of their fantasy football league."

1. Someone trying to convince the other person to get a coffee, while the other person insists they’re “fine, thanks.”

2. A group of college students who have just discovered Nietzsche.

3. Two women comparing results of their juice cleanse.

4. Two men comparing results of their fantasy football league.

5. A summary of the industrial history of Bucks County, Pennsylvania.

6. Someone berating one of their employees very loudly over the phone.

7. A hip youth minister trying to relate to his mentee with Nickelback references.

8. Someone discussing their airline mileage plan in detail.

9. Any conversation that includes “my personal views about Obamacare.”

10. Someone in a beret reading poetry out loud to their extremely disinterested friend.

11. A job interview, especially if the phrase “Always Be Closing” is used, multiple times.

At least those college students who have just discovered Nietzsche have an excuse -- they've, you know, just discovered Nietzsche. Whereas that person "berating one of their employees very loudly over the phone"? That's where you wish you could pull the lever to open the trap door that drops the berater into the shark tank.

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